Wreath-and-Santa Tie o’ the Day watched its cousin, Christmas Bow o’ the City o’ Farmington, ascend to its seasonal spot on its bigly Christmas Wreath o’ Farmington. If City Hall says it’s time to be mindful of the season, it is officially time for the reindeer games to begin. That makes me feel extra justified in bringing out the holiday neckwear this early.
Suzanne and I sit at this spot during her lunch hour whenever she’s not working through lunch. When it’s warm enough, we sit at the picnic tables in the park here. When it’s chilly, we hang out in the car. It’s only two blocks away from her office, but it gives her a break from the work environment. We could drive farther away, but why waste lunch time driving to and from.
Meeting for lunch is one of those relationship maintenance things we do. Some days are so hectic that we don’t even see each other around the house. After she gets home from work, I might being doing “x” on one floor of the house while she’s doing “y” on the other floor. And don’t even get me started on how easily couples can get in a rut and start treating each other like they’re just part of the furniture.
Relationship maintenance is also why we make a point of going to brunch every Sunday. And it’s why we do Bee Pig Date Night. And it’s why we vacay whenever we get the chance. And it’s why we go to concerts, etc. a lot. It’s all about checking in with each other and being truly present in our relationship. We also keep each other out of trouble by being with each other– except for the trouble we occasionally get into together. Causing trouble together can bring you closer too.
We do have our own outside interests too. That’s also good for maintaining a healthy relationship. If you don’t do things separately, what do you have to talk about that you don’t already know about each other? A person in a relationship needs to go out into the world alone so they can bring stories home to tell their significant other. It makes for good conversation. It helps you not get bored with each other. And I can say from personal experience that acting out your stories– or singing them in a fake opera voice– adds a layer of entertainment for your person as they listen to your adventures.
Suzanne has her Champagne Garden Club and her no-name book club, among other things she does without me. I have my tie/bow tie/cravat/ascot/bolo shopping excursions and my… well, I guess that’s about it for me in the outside world. When I’m out, I do have encounters with strangers who comment about whatever neckwear I’m sporting at any given time. I’m a hermit by choice. Oddly, I always have new, wild stories with which to regale Suzanne, whether I leave the house or not. ‘Splain that one.
The trick to creating a healthy couple relationship is balance. You have to balance staying close to each other with staying your own independent self. You have to be one with each other, while remaining the singular self that is you. Trust me. I don’t know everything, but I’m right about this balance-in-a-relationship idea.
That’s my lesson for today. Thank you for reading. I don’t know why pontificating about things is sometimes what I do in my posts. Words just fall out of my head, and sometimes they’re about sorta serious topics. I’ll get funny again– probably by next post.
