Hairs Thursday #2

I suppose these hair clips qualify as Bow Ties o’ the Day. They present my hairdo. And in other pix you can see the cockatiels Tie o’ the Day I wore when getting my hairs done. In this first photo, you can also gander at my Hearing Aid o’ the Day.

I handed Suzanne my baby bow hair clips and said, “Do what you can with these.” She did. I’d actually wear this ‘do out ‘n’ about– like at the beach or on a walk. But Suzanne and I discovered that whenever I moved, they slipped out of my hair. Yes, my hair is a tiny bit fine. It is extra fine. Not one hair of my hairs has known a thick day in its life. Thinnest. Hairs. Ever. Almost. Suzanne’s are thinner.

I have had some skilled hair cutters throughout my earthly existence, and I thank them for dealing with my uncooperative locks. Dot Atkinson cut my hairs all through my kidhood, then Jim Robson opened up his shop by Curley’s and I sat in his hair chair for a year or so. I ended up having my hairs regularly hacked by Sandy Ferrell– for years before I moved to Maryland and then for years after I returned to Delta. Here in Centerville, my hairs hacker is Tiffany at Great Clips. She has hip tattoos and she appreciates mine. Since I haven’t had my hairs sheared since May, Miss Tiffany might or might not still work there. I hope she still cuts there, cuz I trust her.

Back in the day when I was a wee sprite, every church Ward went to Sunday School on Sunday morning at the same time (and Sacrament Meeting was in the evening). On church mornings our house was aflutter with kids being dragged out of bed to eat breakfast and get bathed and gussied up in church duds. (We had only one bathroom at the time.) I even remember Mom often drying my brother, Ron’s dress socks in the oven, and once she was so harried she forgot about them and they caught fire. Sabbath circus.

What does this have to do with hair? Well, I’ll tell you. I don’t know whether Mom or Dad asked, or if my grandma, Zola Wright (Momo), suggested it, but on Sunday mornings, I was sent next door to my grandparents’ house in my pj’s before putting on my dress for church. Momo or Popo lifted me onto a towel on the kitchen counter, where I laid on my back, with my head over the edge of the kitchen sink. Momo used the sink sprayer to wash my hair. Our house was one fewer person of chaos for Mom and Dad for a few minutes, and I felt loved by the inhabitants of two houses. It was as if my grandparents’ home was just another bunch of rooms in our own house.

Thirty years later, I bought my grandparents’ house, which Suzanne and I had for seventeen years– until we sold it two years ago. That kitchen sink and kitchen counter where Momo washed my kid hair were still there when it became mine. They were in atrocious shape, and I should have replaced them.

But I never did. Not even when I remodeled the kitchen. I couldn’t. They were daily reminders of how much I belonged to Momo and Popo–especially with my dirty hair on Sunday mornings. As a growing kid, I was devastated when I grew too big for their kitchen counter. Even my stubborn, thin hairs were sad. And after I sold the house and walked through its rooms one last time before driving away in my red truck forever, it was that decrepit sink that broke my heart.

Hmmm….

So how does a gal who is obsessed with ties show her neighbors she’s thinking of plans to rebel against her housewifely duties while she’s left unchaperoned for a couple of days? Well, she wears her James Dean Tie o’ the Day when she takes Skitter on a walkie to the mailboxes. And she does absolutely nothing productive around the house. That’s how a tiegirl shows her rebel-osity.

On My Own, Briefly

I’ve donned my spades wood Bow Tie o’ the Day, and aside from Bow Tie and Skitter, I’m on my own for a couple of days. This morning, Suzanne hit the road to Cedar City and St. George for a work assignment. What will I do, now that no one is here to keep me in line?

I’m an independent gal, but I can’t think of any bigly fun trouble I’m itching to get into. And I’m trying hard to come up with something to do, something edgy which I wouldn’t do with Suzanne around– something wild, but legal. I do not want Suzanne to have to bail me out of jail the minute she gets home. And Skitter doesn’t have enough money in her piggy bank to bail me out. Besides, Skitter’s money is for her Mission Fund.

I suppose I should be sensible and realize that if my plan requires me to do something I wouldn’t do if Suzanne were around, I probably shouldn’t do it at all. It wouldn’t be something that keeps me pointed in the direction I want my life to go. It’s almost like Suzanne is my Liahona (Mormon reference.). Really though, I’m my own Liahona. Over half a century, I’d like to think I have honed my Liahona skills. You really shouldn’t depend on another human being to be your main Liahona anyway. Others’ compasses can help you, to a certain degree, but you ultimately have to use your own. You are the only one who is ALWAYS with you. You are the only one who can aim you towards the exact place you want/need to be, at every moment of your existence. And that’s a lot of moments.

So I most likely won’t get myself sent to jail while Suzanne’s gone. Or ever. I don’t need laws to tell me what’s right or wrong, or which road to travel. I’ll be good, even if that means I’ll sometimes be boring.

But I am determined to rebel in some way today, so I will NOT do my chores. Deal with the dishes? Nope. Do the pile of laundry in the basket? Nope. Swiffer the floors? No way. Dust the baseboards? Nah. Pay bills? I should do that, but that’s the only bit of “housework” I’m gonna tackle today. Tomorrow, I will work my sore ribs off around the house before Suzanne returns late in the evening, and she’ll never know I declared today to be a Slug Day without her.

FYI Not to worry. Even though Suzanne is out of town, tomorrow is still Hairs Thursday. Suzanne did my hair last night, so it’s been photographed already.

Just Do It

Bow Tie o’ the Day told me I better wake up and smell the coffee beans. Bow Tie told me to quit worrying and wondering about it, and just go to the urgent care clinic and have ’em take a gander at my sore ribs. And so I did

Got some x-rays. Got some advice about the proper speed with which to walk down flights of stairs. Got to repeat the details of my fall and my resulting pain symptoms– to the receptionist, the Physician’s Assistant, the nurse, and the x-ray technician. I like to tell stories, but I don’t like to repeat them four times in one hour. I try to add new and exaggerated details with each telling, so I don’t get bored with my own stories.

My medical examination revealed I did not puncture a lung when I fell. And despite the swelling and the doorknob-sized knot on my ribs, I did not actually break any ribs. In fact, the whole time I was gawking at my x-rays with the PA, all I could think about was how I haven’t eaten ribs in about two forevers– or at least since we were at Dauphin Island, Alabama in September. Mmmmmm… ribs. When I’m on vacation next week, I will be sure to rectify my rib-starved eatin’ situation. I’m hankerin’ for cole slaw on the side, as well.

BTW Completely unrelated topic. I feel the need to exhort y’all, here and now: BE NICE! That’s it– simply be nice to the people around you. It won’t cost you any money to do it. There’s no trick to it. Being nice does not require a college degree. And there are no acceptable excuses to treat people otherwise. Being nice to people is so obviously the right way to treat them. Do not forget to strive always to be a nice person in both your attitude and your actions. It won’t always come back to you, but so what?Nice is about how you want to be when you grow up. Nice matters.

Say What?

Diamond point Bow Tie o’ the Day reminded me I had an early morning appointment with my ear doctor today. I’m an early riser. But on days when I HAVE TO get up for some appointment or other, I have the hardest time waking up and getting out of bed. I doubt I’m the only person with that problem. Maybe it’s something about sort of being “told” you have to do it. It’s as if someone else is bossing you– even though you’re the one who made the appointment in the first place. We do not like to be told what to do, even if we’re the ones telling us to hop to it.

Anyhoo… My ear doc appointment was just for a regular tune-up on my hearing aid, which means I sit in an exam room googling important trivia or watching YouTube on my phone while the doc goes to his office and tweaks my hearing aid. When I talk to him about the gadget, he reminds me to call it a hearing “device.” Hearing “device” is apparently the politically correct way to refer to hearing aids. I humor him. But it’s still a hearing aid to me.

While I was alone in the exam room, I noticed these pictures behind me. They are actual hearing “devices” which were used at one time. I don’t know which invention would be the most difficult to use, but I do know they are all quite creative. I googled them and I can’t find any information about how effective they might have been, but I’m positive you couldn’t wear them on a date.

BTW I’ve included a bonus photo of Skitter in this post for no other reason than the fact that she’s cute. Enjoy.

Someone Call The Golf Carts

If I’m wearing my band-aid Ties o’ the Day, I must have caused some damage to my mortal coil. And I did. Golf carts Cufflinks o’ the Day had to rescue me though, cuz I don’t have ambulance cufflinks.

Let me say this: everything is Skitter’s fault. My recovery from my late-June surgery at Huntsman was extraordinary for the first seven months, and then February happened. In the last three weeks I seem to be sabotaging my recovery– all for Skitter. First, I was nearly skewered through my scar by the end of a roll of wrapping paper I ran into, as I left the pantry where I had gone to get a treat for Skitter.

Second, Skitter got chased by a bared-teeth dog, and I ran to save The Skit from a potential lightweight boxing and biting bout with a bully of a strange dog. I should not have run, ladies and gentlemen, but I had to save Skitter. My well-healing innards got jostled in all kinds of wrong ways while I ran. No permanent damage was done, but my guts feel weird in a bunch of new ways.

And third, I mentioned a couple of weeks ago that Skitter has had some weird kidney things going on, resulting in occasional incontinence. She seems to be okay now, but we didn’t want to leave her roaming free in the house to possibly make puddles Saturday night when we went to Park City. We put her in her beddy-bye crate she loves, turned on “her” tv and a light, and gave her a chew. We have never left her alone in the house in her crate before. Ever. She has always had the whole house to party in when we’ve gone out. Skitter was fine, I’m sure. I, however, was a nervous wreck.

Anyhoo… When Suzanne and I entered the garage, I bolted into the house and up the stairs to Skitter’s crate to get her outside to potty ASAP. I unlatched her crate door and out she flew as if she hadn’t had access to potty grass in months. She zipped down the stairs, as did I. I never zip down the stairs, especially since surgery. But zip, I did, for Skitter’s bladder’s sake.

Until I got to the third step from the bottom. I tripped over one of the shoes I was wearing. (I’ve actually called the shoes “my funeral shoes” since I bought them fifteen years ago. I’ll explain why in another post.) I was briefly airborne, and then I landed on a storage bin I’m glad I hadn’t managed to put away yet. I landed on the top edge of the bin with my left ribs, directly opposite my scar. My left knee hit the floor at the same time. I broke the fall completely with my right palm on the floor– which didn’t hurt my hand but jammed my rotator cuff I had recently made usable again after two months of putting it through physical therapy.

I appear to be fine. But I think I might have broken or bruised a rib or two. It hurts like hell, and I can’t sleep on that side. I can breathe, so I doubt I punctured a lung. Fortunately, my surgery innards don’t feel newer and different-er pain than before I fell– just their usual tugs and pulls o’ healing. I’ve scheduled a doctor appointment for Friday, and I’m also not afraid of emergency rooms, if I should need to visit one. (Next week I’ll be a traveler, so I gotta be fine for that.)

Skitter eventually got pottied, and she had not made a puddle in her crate while we were off living it up in Park City. Score!

Earlier this week I showed you a photo of Suzanne’s scuffed face, and explained about her klutzosity. She is still the klutz in the family, by far. I have no idea why I’ve started joining in the klutz games with her though. I admire so many of Suzanne’s finer qualities, and I try to emulate them. I am not happy about emulating her klutz quality.

All I know for sure is that if I hadn’t taken off my wintry cape in the garage the minute I got home from Park City Saturday night, my attached cape would have thrown me into superhero mode as I tripped, and I would have been able to fly downstairs instead of fall splat. Perhaps I should wear a cape 24/7 from now on, to thwart any possible klutzing activities I might find myself getting into. Oh, you know how I’d hate always wearing a cape.

Dinner And A Show

If I’m wearing guitar Bow Tie o’ the Day, I’m headed to a concert. I don’t wear it to all concerts I attend, but I don’t wear it to any other kind of event. Saturday evening we hied away to Park City in a twinkling of an eye for dinner at GRAPPA, and then AN ACOUSTIC EVENING WITH SHAWN COLVIN, at The Egyptian Theater.

GRAPPA had a cozy ski lodge vibe. The bigly windows provided a stupendous view of the snowy mountains. I ordered the horseradish encrusted salmon, just to see what the heck that would turn out to look like and taste like. (Suzanne had thought about ordering it too.) It was a delicious choice. Suzanne had the scallops puttanesca, which was my second choice to order. We spent the whole meal oohing and awing over our own meals, then wishing we had ordered what each other was having. Could we have shared each other’s entrees? Yes. But we were too selfish with our own dinners for that.

Our dinner began with calamari, and ended with a dessert I chose just because I couldn’t pronounce the name: zabaglione. It was bruleed custard with fruit, topped with slivered candied almonds. Suzanne had citrus polenta cake, also with custard and berries. We used to split one dessert. Now that we are old and there’s no possible way we could ever get back our girlish figures again, we each get our own dessert.

I wore my wintry cape for the happenings, and at least three people at GRAPPA drooled and told me how wonderful it was. Well heck, I knew that. But it was a sorta snooty Park City restaurant, so it surprised me that my cape was thoroughly appreciated. It is one of a kind, and I know the cape maker personally. Lucky me.

At the end of our meal, I was overtaken with tired, droopy eyes. I needed to nap, and we had an hour before the concert started. I told Suzanne I needed to sack-out in the car for a few minutes. I fully expected her to go off to DOLLY’S bookstore while I rested my weary eyelids, but she stayed with me in the car. She passed my snooze time by playing games on her phone, as is evidenced in one of these photos. (Another photo here also shows Suzanne playing games on her phone in the theater while we waited for the concert to begin.)

And then finally, inside The Egyptian Theater, Shawn Colvin came onto the stage with her guitar. Just Shawn Colvin and her guitar for the entire show– except for Shawn Colvin and her keyboard for the encore. I have been enamored with her music for thirty years. She’s an exceptional songwriter, and she plucks the guitar strings masterfully. In fact, I swear I could feel Bow Tie’s guitar strings vibrating right along with Shawn Colvin’s.

Suzanne suffered mostly happily through the concert, since she is not a Shawn Colvin fan. She doesn’t dislike the music, but she doesn’t “like” it either. She is indifferent about it. She probably went because she likes me. But I have no doubt she had a ball in Park City all evening, if only because she got to spend some of it playing games on her phone.

And The Winner Is…

Here’s my dress! Vera Wang designed it, and argyle Bow Tie o’ the Day o’ The Oscars gave it the thumbs-up when I selected it for my walk along the Red Carpet tonight. I can see the constant, blinding camera flashes already. This “gown” guarantees me a spot on the Academy Awards’ Best Dressed lists on tomorrow’s morning news shows. It’s a powerful dress, with powerful tall shoes.

I feel a bit nostalgic about this dress. It reminds me of the dress I wore, one time only, when I received my baby blessing from Dad when I was two-months old. I remember how happy I felt when I wore that dress. (Har, har, har.)

This photo also shows you how I’m going to cup my hands to gently and safely hold the Oscar statuette I will win for Best Screenplay tonight. I must carry it– in order to brag– as I attend all the after-Oscars Hollywood parties.

I must cut this post short, in order to go upstairs now and dress myself for tonight’s bigly event. Look for me on the Red Carpet. There will be plenty of attendees wearing bow ties, so you can’t necessarily look for me based on that characteristic. Here’s how to spot me: I will be the only celebrity emerging– to step onto the Red Carpet– from an Uber limousine. Of course, the dress will stand out too. Finding me in the crowd will not be quite as difficult as finding Waldo.

Do I Look Stylin’, Or What?!

This is Bow Tie o’ the Day’s choice for my Oscars ceremony wardrobe choice. Skitter concurs. And I am darn sure I could walk in these tall shoes. They remind me of the Pinball Wizard’s shoes in the movie TOMMY. But it’s still not quite “the one” in my estimation. I’ll clear my head about my outfit possibilities by heading to Park City with Suzanne later this afternoon for dinner and a Shawn Colvin concert this evening.

It’s Tax Season Out There, Folks

It was time to do the Donnin’ o’ the Cash Bow Tie o’ the Day, for our yearly trip to H & R BLOCK. I do not mind paying my taxes. In fact, I’m glad to do it. But I’ll wait until April 15th to give my annual sermon about my belief that we get more for our tax dollars than we get for any other dollars we spend. I don’t feel quite up to making that point right at this moment, cuz I’m still having aftershocks from this afternoon’s filin’ o’ the tax forms.