Countdown To Mom’s 90th Birthday

Mom is a character. She has also been a positive example of so many of the values we try to live by as good folks upon the planet. She is a woman of action. She is compassionate, non-judgmental, resilient, loyal, generous, service-minded, patient, empathetic, principled, and on and on, into et cetera territory. I consider her life-long examples of these values to be a quiver-full of gifts to me—each one important to finding my way through my life. She’s been a stellar example of her values to anyone who has spent time with her.

One value I realize Mom taught me was a surprise. And it’s a bigly thing. I don’t know how I missed it for so many years, but I did not recognize it as a gift until I became a parent myself. And just what is that valuable gift my Mom gave me? She gave me the gift of imperfection. Some parents have a tough time letting their kids—and everyone else— see them make mistakes. They can’t admit to being/doing wrong. Mom has always openly embraced her mis-steps and weaknesses, and she has tried to learn from them and become a better person. She’s never been shy about sharing her mistakes with others, so they can benefit from her experiences. She gave me the gift of acknowledging my imperfection—as we all must do—as a necessary way to thrive and be better than I was before I messed up. And Mom has taught me that it’s not enough to learn from your imperfection; you are obligated to show others how to best live contentedly with their own inevitable foibles. Nobody’s perfect, but we often waste a ton of energy and time pretending to be. Here’s a secret: None of us is fooling anybody. Might as well learn from who we really are.

I Miss Mom’s Visits To Our Abode

Bow Tie o’ the Day naps with Mom in 2017, on one of her last sleepovers with us in Centerville. She had been wearing Bow Tie while I was taking post photos of all of us during her visit. She suddenly needed to doze, so I took Bow Tie off her neck and she conked out on the couch immediately. I’m sure Skitter is just out of frame, because when Mom and Skitter are in the same room, Skitter is right at Mom’s side.

This is a dear photo to me because Mom looks so comfortable. This snapshot was taken just a few weeks after Mom broke her hip. The ambulance drove Mom from the Delta hospital to the hospital in Provo, where Suzanne and I were already waiting for her arrival. I was shocked to see Mom in such pain. There she was—with a broken hip and in need of surgery, and she was trying to be her usual chatty, glittery self. She was trying to be upbeat with the nurses, the ambulance crew, and me and Suzanne. But her face had an underlying grimace of pain I had never seen on her sweet face before. And I hope to never see it on her again.

Even through her pain that June night, Mom had us roaring. The nurses, the ambulance crew, and Suzanne and I were clustered around Mom’s gurney in the hall outside her hospital room waiting for the room to be ready for her. A nurse asked Mom if she needed anything. Mom thought for a second or two and said, in her best dead-serious voice, “I’d like a tall glass of morphine, please.” The nurses stood shocked. Suzanne and I laughed immediately, because we know Mom’s gift for humor. And then the nurses realized Mom had not been serious, so we all enjoyed Mom’s floorshow. Mom entertained through her pain, as is her way.