Y’all Know Exactly What Day It Is

Dot-terrific wood Bow Tie o’ the Day debuts itself on this breezy Pandemic Hairs Thursday. I don’t own curlers and other such hair accessories (and I don’t want to), so my pandemic hairs have to be managed by other means. Most days, I go the Mad Hatter route, which means I go to my Storage Bin o’ Hats and choose whatever hat feels right. And I love my hats. But sometimes, I don’t feel hatty at all, and I have to get creative. I am a writer; therefore, I have scores of funky accessories in my desk drawers. This morning, these heavy duty paper clips came to mind. I have many kinds and colors and sizes of paper clips. They came in handy when it came time to wrestle my head hairs for today’s post—especially the bigliest clip. I think the clips add the proper panache and bling to my dramatic, pandemic hairs, and I’m glad Bow Tie o’ the Day and I thought to use them. Otherwise, I would have had to use my stapler to tame my noggin hairs—with my fancy pink, blue, and yellow staples. That would’ve looked fantabulous, but it would have hurt. A heckuva lot.

The Chia Hairs Have Been Tabulated

Barry and Mitt have reached the end of their Chia Pandemic Hairs Thursday race. Barry looks about the same as when his Chia hairs were first spread on his head. In fact, his pandemic hairs closely resemble the real hairs of his real-life counterpart. Mitt sprouted some healthy, long Chias for about a week. Now his Chia hairs are wilting rapidly and sticking to his head. I think I’m going to make this political Chia hairs contest a regular event in presidential election years. As for this year’s competition, I declare a draw. Look at these dudes. Ain’t nobody got winning Chia hairs here.