Day: April 4, 2022

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The Tie Room Residents Speak When Required

Having so many pieces o’ neckwear in my bigly collection comes in handy. I can find something helpful to wear around my neck for practically any occasion. This afternoon’s Bow Tie o’ the Day is a shopping list: I’m making salsa for when Lent is over. Peppers are required, and if I’m wearing this “hot” Bow Tie o’ the Day, there’s no way I’ll forget to pick up the peppers. Salsa itself is healthy enough, but there’s no such thing as eating only salsa and nothing else. Ya gotta have unhealthy chips! Nobody ever says, “Come over and watch the BYU football game with us. We’re having salsa-and-salsa.” It’s true that I am already stockpiling non-nutritious “fake food” of all manner in the pantry: sweets, chips, crackers—for when Lent is finally over, and I can once again forage the junky food to my heart’s content. Of course, a tub (or four) of ice cream is patiently waiting for me in the freezer. I touch it for strength every day. From Day 1 of Lent, I’ve felt the sincere need to celebrate my junky food habits at the very first post-Lent chance I get. 🍦 🍪 🍿 🍫

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Neckwear Can Get In The Way On Rare Occasions

While I was stocking up on the household staples of hearing aid batteries and tuna and fancy waters, I struck gold with this treasure: a bigly Peeps-bedecked head bow tie. Although I have more bow than existent hairs, this Bow Tie o’ the Day gem comes in handy for me today. This is the kind of day where I pretend to be a gifted handygal around the house. On my honey-do list for the day are tasks like climb a warped wooden ladder to change light bulbs; stand on furniture to put clean filters in the house vents; go through storage bins in the garage, to see what I can sneak to D.I. without Suzanne noticing; etc. I will also be putting together a new book organizer—known to commoners as a bookshelf. For jobs like these, a necktie will surely get in the way, to the point of becoming dangerous. There’s no need to worry about strangling myself as my tie gets caught on household machinery I might have to reach around to make adjustments. And a bow tie can poke me or fall off into dark crevices as I contort myself into the handygal poses I’ll have to make to successfully complete my current list o’ tasks. These headband Peeps are lifesavers. (LifeSavers. Sounds sweet. I officially hate Lent.)