I put on my Flintstone-y wood Bow Tie o’ the Day and had my bigly appointment with my Hanky Panky doctor at Huntsman Cancer Hospital last Friday morning. (Isn’t the Huntsman lobby ceiling fantabulous above me?!)
As you know by now, I have no problem violating HIPAA laws about myself. My doc and I went over the results of my CT scan from March. Here’s the skinny on my Panky: What little bit is left of my pancreas is healthy and working relatively well since my Whipple surgery almost three years ago. However, my Hanky Panky has taken it upon itself to grow a pancreatic stone which is blocking the pancreatic duct. It causes pain and it hinders the pancreas from correctly aiding me in terms of digestion and nourishment. Excuse my French, but DAMNIT! Stoopid pancreas!
My Hanky Panky doctor has a plan. Actually, he has three plans. The first thing we’re going to try is called an ERCP, during which a specialist will stick a long camera-with-a-claw down my throat and attempt to extract the panky boulder. If this works, my problem is solved. But the chances this will work are about none. When I had pancreatic stones before my Whipple surgery, we tried the ERCP to get them out, but my pancreatic duct was so twisty that the doc couldn’t pull any stones out. And now, there’s also scar tissue from the surgery which the specialist will have to contend with. We’ll try the ERCP solution again anyway, because it’s better than jumping right to surgery. It might work. But none of us are counting on it. (My ERCP is already scheduled for this coming Friday morning.)
If the ERCP doesn’t work, the second thing I will be doing is a thing called lithotripsy. Lithotripsy is a medical procedure that uses shock waves or a laser to break down kidney stones, so the resulting particles can move through the body to be peed out. Unfortunately, lithotripsy doesn’t usually blow pancreatic stones to smithereens as well as it does kidney stones. This probably won’t be successful either, according to my doctor.
The third option—if it gets to this point—is good, old-fashioned cut-me-in-half surgery again. Excuse my French again, but DAMNIT! This is the option that is the most likely to relieve my agony, but I am not going to think about even the possibility of surgery beyond this post. I have stuck my fingers in my mind’s ears when it comes to hearing anything about surgery.
Nope. I’m putting all my good vibes into the ERCP solving my problem with its tiny claw this Friday morning at 6AM.
FYI Millard Care and Rehab says in-person visits are back on immediately at their facility. Skitter and I see a visit with Mom in our near future! Yay!
