Day: May 20, 2020

Posted on

I’m As Tough As My Legs Are Fish-belly White

Teensy Bow Tie o’ the Day comes to us in a photo from a LAGOON visit a couple of years ago. I like this photo because it not only has a bigly tooth in it, but it illustrates how laughable I can sometimes look when I try to be tough. Me trying to intimidate with my ripped self can come off looking more like me trying to resemble a cartoon character. I’m an uber-resilient broad—as strong as they come. But being all in-your-face pugilistic does not match my deep, bipolar, American soul. Oh, I have to admit I can rustle up some truly piercing faces when it’s absolutely necessary. If you’re a teacher or a parent or a spouse, if you have any chance of surviving your duties, you MUST have a quiver full of faces which will wordlessly get your point across to whoever it is you’re trying to reach.

You know that thing about how some people have eyes in the back of their heads, cuz they somehow see everything that goes on anywhere in their vicinity? The back of my head really does. I see everything, even if it’s in the next room. I apparently have the ability to conjure up more than one I’m-all-business-so-knock-it-off face in the back of my head. I developed and honed such back-o’-the-head faces while teaching in Baltimore, strictly as a method of survival. You have to have those “looks” to quiet a rowdy class, nip trouble in the bud, and to successfully break up physical altercations without getting clocked yourself. But my tough glares bear no resemblance to what I’m all about. Fight Club R Not I.

Posted on

What Would The Flip-side Do?

In yesterday’s second post, I rambled on about how important it is to have rubbed shoulders with at least a handful of super-good folks in your life—people of character and compassion and insight. People worth emulating. And when you get yourself in a predicament, and you’re not sure what your next move should be, you can call on them for help, in person or in your mind. You can ask yourself what you think that person would do in your situation. The key to this strategy working is you have to be careful who you choose to consult with.

On the other hand, this whole panel-of-experts-in-your-head tool can work in reverse too—and still for your benefit. In my wanderings, I’ve met some people who don’t have any sense at all anywhere in their DNA. I’ve also met hateful people whose sketchy advice I would never take. You know persons like this too. Their image of themselves is that they are above the laws and civility that the rest of us cherish. They see our generosity as weakness. They believe you and I exist in order to serve them. They are in it for themselves, and for no other. Their lives are a mess because they are a mess. In short, they’re @$$holes.

I’ll just call one of these malicious people I know “A” for the purpose of this example. A few years ago when Suzanne bought a car from her dad, we took the title to the DMV to register it. Suzanne was filling out the required information on the title, when she got to the little box where you’re supposed to put the amount you paid for the car. Of course, people often fudge on that. They write in a lesser amount, to save a little on taxes. She jokingly asked me what amount she should put? I jokingly asked her, “What Would ‘A’ Do? (WWAD).” Neither one of us wants to ever be like “A,” so the right answer was clear. We did the opposite of what the predatory “A” would have done. We have used “A” as an anti-guiding light many times. Our ethical compasses are intact, so we don’t really need to ask WWAD, but doing it is fun. In fact, Suzanne and I make a game of going against what “A” would do—in bigly situations and in small ones.

So you see, bad examples can teach you valuable lessons. Bad examples can keep you on the right track, out of disgust for their nefarious behavior. A bad example is a weapon you can utilize for doing good, if you know how to use it properly. In the wrong hands, the WWAD weapon can lead you so far off the radar, you’ll wake up one morning and realize you are now just another @$$hole among @$$holes.

So Suzanne wrote down the exact dollar-amount she’d paid her dad for the vehicle. It cost more to register the car than we could have made it cost, but it didn’t cost her any character points on her Permanent Record.