We have to remember we aren’t the only ones trying to get in shape and drop a little poundage for the holiday parties, at which we will show off our new skinny bodies and our ugly sweaters. Or something like that. Ties o’ the Day help us remember that Santa, his helpers, and his reindeer have to build up their muscles and stamina for the 24-hour, worldwide event called Christmas. We think we’re in a frenzy to pick out gifts, decorate, and cook– but nope. These dudes are really the ones who frenzy around to give Christmas its material joy. The least we can do is to leave the rotund guy a cookie or two, and hope he shares his cookie haul with all his support staff. Of course, I do not leave a glass of milk for the jolly ol’ boy. I leave a tall glass of Diet Coke. I figure Santa needs the caffeine.
Bow Tie o’ the Day offers us some Billy Bob Thornton, as a grossly bad Santa, from the movie BAD SANTA. That movie is not a Xmas classic. I’ve actually never been able to get through the entire movie, so I can’t recommend it. Why did I buy Bad Santa Bow Tie then? Because I didn’t already have one like it.
But I’ve changed. My bow tie collection feels almost complete. I’m at the point that unless a bow tie captures my attention from at least forty feet away, I’m not all that interested in adding it to my collection. I still have an incredible fervor for the little critters. I just have a bit of the been-there-done-that feeling about the less dazzling bow ties. I suppose it’s sort of like when you’re in your having-kids years, and one day you just know you’re done adding to your family. You’ve had enough babies. Your family feels whole. You get a feeling about it. No more babies, please and thank you.
I have no biological children. I decided when I was very young that giving birth to babies was not on my Bucket List. As I have probably mentioned here before, I thought my genes should end with me. I’m convinced that if my body created a kid, that poor child would have all of my worst physical attributes: My kid would have bad hair, bad teeth, too-big boobs, and be bipolar. I would not feel good about myself if I did that to a child of God. (Especially if it was a boy– with that big boob characteristic.)
But I do have two sons– one with an ex and one with Suzanne. One kid at a time was enough for me. Those boys are what I needed in my life. I love the men they are now. I tried to teach them what my parents taught me. And I can say without exaggeration that neither Devon nor Rowan ever left the house– or went to bed at night– without being told they were loved. Oh, and I always added, as they left the house: Remember your “please”s and “thank you”s. They have each reported to me how that advice has helped them become successful in their lives.
FYI I will post more about the amazing Devon and Rowan in the future. Believe it or not, there are some topics– Devon being chief among them– I’m not yet ready to write about here. Yes, I have a filter. Yes, I have places in my heart which I have a tough time re-visiting. But I’ll keep getting things worked out, and you’ll read about it– because these posts are a kind of memoir, and I’ve sworn to tell the truth. The whole truth. So help me, whatever god makes you a better person.