Category: Ties

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A Blast From A Rare Tie-less Day In The Past

Paisley Tie o’ the Day would’ve loved the chance to be clipped on to this shirt. If I remember accurately, this shirt was actually a bodysuit. (Geez, bodysuits made pottying a pain.) Check out the bigly collar. What a huge wingspan it has! Note my stunning shag haircut. And my uni-brow is present in its infancy. What I can’t figure out about this photo is why I wore a shirt which was a single color– on picture day, especially. No busy pattern of any kind. Not even a pocket in which to put a loud pocket square. It was 1973 and I was in Mrs. Nielson’s 3rd Grade class. I remember nothing about that school year, except my times tables. They come in handy sometimes, so I’m glad I remember them. I just can’t believe nothing else memorable happened to me during that grade. I don’t even think I was sent to the principal, which happened on an average of once per year. It was always because I felt compelled to make some necessary political point. For example, one year I protested for the Constitutional right to wear overalls. I didn’t understand why boys could wear them to school and girls couldn’t. If I had a reasonable point to make– and made a fuss respectfully– Dad and Mom backed me up. With the “overall incident,” Mom bought me two pairs of striped overalls to wear to school. But I guess I didn’t make any political statements in 3rd Grade. Maybe there was nothing to protest. Maybe I was resting up for 4th Grade, cuz that’s when my class made the bigly move all the way over to the south wing of the school– a world away from those pesky babies in 1st to 3rd grades. 👩‍🌾

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A Chip Off The Ol’ Block

Coloring book Neckwear o’ the Day was filled-in by the famous artist, Suzanne. She was so excited when she found this page in one of her coloring books. She knew it would rock my joy. Whenever she kept me company in the hospital, she pulled out her markers and coloring books. She colored for hours, cuz I wasn’t feeling very talky most of my stay. BTW How I play with words is rubbing off on Suzanne. This binder is her daily planner, which she named without any input from me. I guffaw at any writing with an “o'” in it instead of “of.” Writing “o'” instead o’ “of” saves so much time and printer toner, eh? 😂

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This Makes Me All Better. Sort Of.

Ties o’ the Day on my socks take the simple route. It’s so true that even zombies look suave in black ties, no matter how bloody and disheveled they might be. I’m fixin’ to put my socks on for the day, and my polished toenails will be happy while wearing the tie-clad zombies. Suzanne did the polishing, of course. She has taken such good care of me in my post-surgery weeks, and she thinks my recovery somehow requires nail polish. She’s right: I feel better already.

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More Fun With Bad Art

Stick Tie o’ the Day is incontrovertible proof of my infamous artistic non-skills. I seriously tried to draw that tie with symmetry. Obviously, it’s too much for my inept, artsy skill set to handle. Being unable to draw doesn’t stop me from drawing my stick schtick. I like coming up with clever stick figures. They are high on the clever aspect. They are low on the drawing ability. Does my non-ability stop me? No. It’s okay to enjoy doing things even if we suck at doing them. # 👔

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Stones R We

Tie o’ the Day heals. The day I birthed my gazillion, olive-sized pancreatic stones, Suzanne was working on passing her biggest kidney rock in her kidney stone history. Her boulder is displayed here beside a capsule o’ pancreatic enzymes, which I must take whenever I eat. I stand all amazed at the size of Suzanne’s kidney mountain. I had an epidural when I birthed up a chunk o’ Hanky Panky and its stones. Poor Suzanne had to pee out a boulder with nothin’ but grit. 🙀

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A Pillowcase Per Day

With this recovery pillow protecting my gut, my heart pitter-pats when I see Tie o’ the Day. Lush color. The paisles are few but eye-catching. I like Tie, even though it isn’t a dynamic, screaming tie. Its color pops out boldly from my mustache pillowcase Suzanne crafted. When I’m in a fabric store with Suzanne, if I simply glance at a groovy piece of fabric, eventually she gives me the fabric– transformed into a pillowcase or blanket. Wish she’d buy me every truck I glance at. 👻 😹 🚚

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BODY HEAT Is A Marvelous Movie

Tie o’ the Day agrees with me that this heat feels like hot flashes all over again. Geez, it’s toasty outdoors. Sometimes you wanna wear a regular tie in the summer, but regular ties are heavier and cover more of your body and neck than bow ties– adding heat. No worries, my fellow wearers-o’-ties! Throw on a toddler-sized, clip-on tie. Kids’ ties clash as well as grown-ups’ ties, as is proved by this selfie. 📱 BTW Is anyone else having a 💩 day, or is it just my crabby self? 🦀

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Vermont Is The Bow Tie North Pole

Neckwear and Pocket Squares o’ the Day call to me from Beau Ties, LTD– my favorite bow tie makers. Yes, I can hear their bow-shaped voices all the way here from where they are hatched in Vermont. I currently have two monthly bow tie subscriptions: 2 bow ties per month in the mail. The subscriptions are through another company, at a drastically lower cost. When I dream impossible dreams, I dream of these three subs and  their monthly deliveries. Cost is only $1370 per year. Maybe in my next life.

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Cuz She Makes Me Happy

Tie o’ the Day symbolizes Suzanne’s glee. After my surgery, she bought herself clothes at the hospital gift shop on the way to my room. Another day, she sent a text to me in my hospital bed saying, “The Ultimate SewingBox is $300 off! Can I order it?” A sewing lamp got ordered too. And she found a purse in the gift shop as we left Huntsman. This is what happens when your wife has your debit card for safekeeping, and you’re too drugged up to say NO to her. 😉 🤗 🙃

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Bored As A Board, I Tell Ya

Bandage Tie o’ the Day is trying to help speed up my recovery– CUZ I’M GOING NUTS!!! I hate my bed, my couch, my loveseat, and every chair in my house. I hate the patio chairs. I hate the deck chairs. I hate the blow-up mattress. I’m tired of being too tired to do anything but sit or lie down. I occasionally walk around the house to shoo away any possible blood clots. But I’m so bored that I’m boring to myself. And that’s never happened before. 🤡