Witty & Wise Ties, Trivia & Lies
Tie o’ the Day presents green olives swimming in martinis. (If you martini, go with the olives, not cocktail onions. Just sayin’.) Why is Tie olive-ing on this post? One of Hanky Panky’s issues was its gravel pit full of pancreatic stones which needed to be mined and hauled away. When I woke up from my magical surgery, Suzanne explained what the doc had taken out, moved, re-plumbed, etc. My doc had told her that some of my Panky stones were the size of olives. 🍸 Groovy, eh?
Bow Tie o’ the Day is headed to surgery. Toodles, til later.
A day early, Neckwear o’ the Week-Or-So is packed. Toothbrush, sleep boxers, and socks, too. That’s it. What else does a girl need to haul with her, to get a few organs/pieces removed? FYI! TIE O’ THE DAY continues. Suzanne’ll aid me in posting. Stay tuned for vacation hijinks (tie-jinks?) from Huntsman Beach, where I’ll lounge on my bow tie beach towel. I’ll build sand ties. I’ll keep my ear buds full o’ vacay tunes, so I can groove to all the bipolar voices singing inside my head. 😹 😺
As Tie o’ the Day and I prepare to party at the hospital, a bigly thing occurs to me: I won’t be allowed to hold 100 oz. Mini-Keg for weeks! My surgeon said I shouldn’t lift anything heavier than a couple of pounds while I’m recovering. Until now, I hadn’t that about this directive in terms of Mini-Keg. It’s probably best for Mini-Keg to live in the garage temporarily, so it doesn’t have to watch me cheating on it with cans o’ Diet Coke and Diet Dr. Pepper.
Look at that, will ya? Tie o’ the Day chick is the spittin’ image of how I’ll look after my hair grows out. In a past life, I surely must have been Sandro Botticello’s model for the painting that inspired Tie: THE BIRTH OF VENUS. Hey, weirder things have happened, and will continue to happen. I’m convinced I was Rasputin in another of my past lives. Suzanne always says YOU WERE NOT THAT EVIL MAN! And I always pout and say, “You NEVER let me be Rasputin.” 🎨
Bow Tie o’ the Day announces: Your “to-cut-or-not-to-cut-my-head-hairs” votes have been tallied. Votes from Facebook, emails, texts, and the website say you don’t want me to chop off my hairs before surgery. It appears most of you want to torture me by making me grow my head fur until I’m Rapunzel. I’m warning you, the process won’t be pretty. But I accept the will o’ the people. You have spoken, and so I will suffer hairily until you’re satisfied, and then I’ll machete my hair to smithereens again. 🙃 💇 🗡
Just sittin’ around on a Saturday morning, pretending to smoke a fat cigar, while I wait for my pa-in-law to show up to give me a blessing. Tie o’ the Day clashes with Shirt o’ the Day, much like the cigar is juxtaposed with the idea of a blessing. Clash should go beyond fashion. Clashy living leads to seeing the world from perspectives you never thought possible. You learn to live with questions, which leads to thinking. And that leads to living a life of thinking AND thoughtfulness.
Tie o’ the Day and I are debating about my head hairs. The longer side of my mop falls in my eyes, and I like it this way. I’ve got rubber bands to create a side pigtail if I need one. But I think hair-in-eyes might be annoying while I’m at Huntsman. I could get my usual trim-and-shave before I go hospitaling. However, lately I’m thinking about growing all my hairs out into a longer style. I’m asking for your assistance. VOTE! To cut, or not to cut? 🤔
It’s just Bow Tie o’ the Day, Skitter, and me at home for the next week. The Tie Room is full of its residents too, but it’s not the same as having Suzanne with us. I took her to the airport, and now she’s off to Orlando for work. She will get home late Wednesday, only a few hours before my surgery. Bow Tie and I are incredibly sad because we will be freaking out for days about my upcoming operation, all by our lonely selves. 😱 🙀
Neckwear o’ the Day loves Shakespeare plays, especially A MIDSUMMER NIGHT’S DREAM. Shauna Corry, Richard Jackson, and I were among DHS students who performed MIDSUMMER scenes, in 1979. I was Puck– a spritely, mischief-making soul. Fred Adams– DHS graduate, and founder of The Utah Shakespeare Festival– loaned us costumes for the production. The Puck costume he brought me was a loincloth. ONLY a loin cloth. We scrounged up wardrobe additions. I would’ve been fine with wearing just the loincloth if I’d been allowed to wear strategically placed neckwear. 😜