Category: Ties

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I Believe In Santa And Ties

Ah, a scarf made of a couple of hundred or so holiday Ties o’ the Day! I pulled them out of their storage bins this morning, where they’ve been hibernating ever since January. It takes a few weeks for the ties to get prepped to show their best selves to y’all. They need to stretch and get used to being in the light of day.

This picture is meant to give you a bit of perspective about just how big a task it’s going to be for me to cull my holiday tie population– to select which lucky ones I will wear this season. (And I’m not even displaying the holiday bow ties here.)

Skeptics are everywhere. You don’t have to look hard to find a person who will even deny the existence of gravity. Or they’ll tell you gravity is a conspiracy, designed to do who-knows-what. One thing I hope you won’t doubt is the existence of my bigly collection of festive ties. That’s why I wanted to show you this photo evidence that I really do own this many holiday ties.

No, I don’t count them anymore. What’s the point in doing that? It takes time, and then I’d have to tell Suzanne an exact number– which is not something I relish doing. Do I ask her how many yards of material or skeins of yarn she has? I would never do that. A lady never asks a lady those kinds of questions. 😉

BTW  I just noticed that in this photo I kinda look like an Oscar statuette. Perhaps I am my own tie trophy. A Tiescar?

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I Ask For A Cape, And I Receive A Cape. Voila!

Argyle Tie o’ the Day is proud to be a part of our Suzanne-sewn Cape o’ the Day’s debut. I’m purposely concealing the other side of this reversible cape, which I’ll save for a separate post. But ain’t this cape beyond funky?!?!

Don’t be thinking my new Suzanne-made cape is a Halloween cape. Nope. Sugar skulls– or any skull designs–  are fashionable every day of the year, and for almost every occasion. Holiday? Skulls work. Birthday? Skulls work. Date night? Skulls work. Church? Maybe not.

The bonus attribute of this cape’s colorful fabric is that Frida Kahlo’s face is repeated among the skulls. Kahlo was an incredible Mexican painter. Some of her self-portraits make me dizzy with sadness. This skull/Kahlo cape material is part of the treasure we found in Albuquerque– at the fabric store Suzanne treated like a shrine.

BTW Frida Kahlo and I share a trait: our almost-unibrow. It was sexy on her. I don’t know what it is on me.

I had to include the second photo in this post so you could get a look at my flashy blue and black-velveted pants, as well as my chicken-theme Sloggers. The lighting sucks where this door mirror is located. And since I seem to have started using the mirror for post pictures, it really ought to be moved to a location in the house where there is proper lighting.

The problem with moving the door mirror is that it weighs as much as my truck. It is not attached to anything. It’s simply propped up against a wall. But you can’t just pick it up and try out how the lighting works with it in different places around the house. There is no possible way we can ever heft the door mirror up the stairs either. It has stood in our entryway since the day we moved in six years ago, and even as I type this, I realize we will never move it. It’s  perfect and handsome right where it is.

I guess y’all will just have to live with the occasional crappily-lighted mirror photograph in a post. I’m not too worried. Heck, a cape this swell can outshine bad lighting any day o’ the week.

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What Else Can I Be?

Skitter can’t be in this photo because she’s outside pottying while wearing her french fries costume. She decided she didn’t want to wear any other costumes today. That’s how much she likes french fries. Spooky Tie o’ the Day provides decorative jack-o-lanterns for our Halloweening.

As you can see, I chose to wear a Helen A. Wright costume. How could I not? She claims she’s a witch. She claims Halloween is her day for riding her sharpened broom. She claims she is frightening when her hairs are not did.

Now, let me make some important comments about the finer points of this costume.

First– Mom’s hair. This is the best I could do to imitate Mom’s pre- Hair Day mop, cuz my hairs are now much longer than hers. If Mom’s hairs get out of control before Hair Day, she puts in a few curlers. She uses bobby pins to keep the curlers in place, but I have also seen her use toothpicks to do it when she can’t locate the bobby pins. Mom is creative when it comes to keeping the hairs in line. Don’t get me started on how many cans of hairspray she goes through in a week. And I must add that for some reason Mom always thinks she needs a perm. “My hair just needs a little oomph,” she says. “I need that height.”

The second item I need to explain is this set of reading glasses. I don’t know if you can see it, but the left lens is gone, and the right ear bar of the frame is gone too. This doesn’t mean Mom thinks the glasses should be thrown away. No, they should stick around– just in case. I managed to grab this pair one day when I saw its condition– forcing her to use the new pair I bought her.

Our third item needing commentary is the earrings. I borrowed these from Suzanne to give you an example, but they are not clip-on earrings like Mom likes to wear. Also, Mom prefers to wear earrings with a cluster of big colorful jewels. Mom will choose costume jewelry over precious stones every time. When Mom was still living in Delta, but was too frail to go to church, the ward priesthood guys brought the Sacrament to her at her house. She wore her duster and sat on the porch to wait for the Sacrament deliverers. And she insisted on wearing earrings for them, even though she was wearing a duster.

Fourth– the duster. Except for when Mom gussies up to attend church, I have not seen her dressed in anything but a duster for at least four years. It is her uniform. It’s like my ties are for me. It’s how we roll. BTW  Mom prefers to wear her worn out dusters rather than her newer ones. They are softer. And they are see-through. Sheer makes her happy, I guess.

Fifth– the socks. Although these are my socks, Mom would wear them in a heartbeat. She loves wild, comfy socks. For the last few years, crazy socks have been the only gifts Suzanne and I have given her for Christmas, birthday, and Mother’s Day. We are always on the lookout for bright, busy, soft ankle socks. Mom doesn’t have to wear a matching pair. She mixes ’em up. She doesn’t try to mix-and-not-match up on purpose like I do. But she’s fine with the not-matchy, if she can’t find a sock’s mate.

And finally– that newspaper tucked under “Mom’s” arm is, of course, THE CHRONICLE. It’s hers. If you value your fingers, don’t touch it. ‘Nuff said.

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Do You Want Halloween Fries With That?

Jack-o-lantern Tie o’ the Day decided to go with a clever costume. Tie clipped on a bow and declared, “I’m a BOW TIE o’ the Day.” Skitter and I went with the silly vibe costume, using the all-that-and-a-bag-of-chips phrase. We decided we are “all that and an order of fries.” Note that Skitter is so content and patient in her fry costume that she tends to nod off.

These are our morning costumes. We have different costumes for later in the day. But for now, we’re wearing our fries as we fill up the candy bowl. As usual, we had to wait to fill it until Suzanne is at work, because candy isn’t sanctioned on her diet, and she tends to grab any visible sweet that shows its face.

I am always the designated candy giver-outer on Halloween evening. I rule the door. I rule the candy bowl. I don’t care how old you are: you are welcome to knock on our door for a goodie. You are not welcome to come back for seconds. And you are not welcome to ask for extra candy for your siblings who are sick and had to stay home. Yeah right, I don’t think so. Believe me, if you try those ploys, I will give you a come-to-Jesus talkin’ to that will be ringing in your ears until New Year’s Eve.

If Suzanne’s home from work when the little treat-seekers come knockin’, and she wants to sneak some candy, she knows better. She’d have to wrestle me for the candy bowl, and she knows she shouldn’t try that– because she knows that despite my peace-love-harmony nature, I am one tough fighter. And, like any champion fighter, I fight dirty. The fight over candy is over before it starts. I win. TKO.

In the end, I give Suzanne a scrap or two of the sweets. You know the kind I let her have. I give her the “bad” candy that not even kids really want– like those Dum Dum suckers and Bit-o-Honey’s. I always buy “bad” candy as a back-up for in case I run out of the good stuff. “Bad” candy is cheap. That’s how you can tell it’s the “bad” candy.” 👻 🎃 🤖 👽 👾 💀 👹 ☠️

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A Skull Is Necessary

Tie o’ the Day presents its skulls, and Cufflinks o’ the Day do the same. We’re all getting ready for the end of Breast Cancer Awareness Month and Halloween. Tomorrow we wrap up our pink and orange and black. It’s not like we won’t wear these colors again until next October, but we won’t be wearing them with such symbolic importance. We wish you a merry Halloween on the morrow!

Anyhoo…  I was grocery shopping at Dick’s this morning, and Tie had a couple of conversations with its fans. Lisa, the pharmacist at Dick’s, especially had to acknowledge Tie. She even asked if she could touch it. Fake spookiness, like Tie’s skulls, is what Halloween is all about. We don’t want no real spookiness.

I am not a bigly sushi gal, but while I was at the Dick’s meat counter, I picked up some squid salad, which is yummy even though its squidness might spook some people. And what was sitting right beside my squid salad in the meat case? Octopus salad, which had never been in there before. I bought a teeny-weeny bit of it to try, but I haven’t tried it yet. I’m waiting for Suzanne to be home when I taste it, just in case I choke on it and need the Heimlich Maneuver. I’ll certainly let you know how eating octopus tentacles goes.

Meanwhile, Skitter and I are deciding on our costumes for Trick-or-Treating tomorrow. Skitter has mostly settled on hers. I, on the other hand, can’t decide between a slew of costume ideas. Do I go with a scary costume? Do I go with a clever one? Or do I go with something silly? Inevitably, a tie or two will show up, no matter which costume vibe I choose. Perhaps the neckwear will wear costumes. Ya never know.

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I Wasn’t Ready, But I Did It Anyway

Tie o’ the Day and I managed to sneak in a bow tie on a t-shirt, for double amusement. While Suzanne labored at The University of New Mexico from 9-5 every day, I ferreted out ABQ wonders to see. Tie helped me keep my eye on the fuel level in our rental car. I have told you and told you before, and I will tell you again and again: A piece of neckwear can be helpful in a multitude of ways– like reminding you to fill up the gas tank after you’ve driven every road in New Mexico.

In fact, a tie is a lot like a dog in some ways. It wants to make you happy. It loves you beyond reason. You can be a complete jerk, and your tie will still think you are the cat’s meow– just like dogs do. If you can train a mutt to do tricks and tasks, you can train a tie to do the same.

I, on the other hand, am somewhat untrainable. Or maybe “unchangeable” is the right word. Okay, the right word is “stubborn.” There. I wrote it: I’m stubborn about one or two or 8,000 things. I stuck to my stubborn-inity about lifting my own luggage and keeping up with the vacay goal of seeing as many sights as possible. Unfortunately, I stubborn-ed my way into bringing home an unwanted souvenir: a cold.

SURGERY RECOVERY ALERT! Skip this if you’ve had it with my yammering on about how my recovery is coming along. I’d skip reading about it if I could, cuz I’d like to skip the whole recovery altogether.

Here it is, four months after surgery, and I still get caught by limits. The things I can’t do are certainly fewer and far-er between, but some of my shouldn’t-do’s are so simple– like putting away clean serving dishes onto a high shelf. Nope. Still can’t do that.

It’s frustrating to hold back on doing what I feel like I can do, but know I still should not do. I mean– really! How can it be that visiting one tourist spot a day is the totality of what I can do without having to couch potato the entire next day? So in Albuquerque, I just pushed my way through the exhaustion and drove where I wanted and investigated what there was to see. I knew I would pay for it. But oh, well. I know that since surgery, my immunity is low and my body is putting all its energy into repairing my innards. Thus, I easily caught a cold, which has leveled me.

I know a cold is a tiny recovery bump, but I also know I must baby it a little, so it doesn’t become something bigger, which my immunity system can’t handle. I think it was worth it to grab some vacay time though– to be somewhere that isn’t my own house, doing something besides sprawling out in my own recliner.

The week ahead is a must-recover-from-vacay week. I am, however, planning to drive to Delta to visit Mom in a few days. Her spirit is always rejuvenating. I hope my visits give her the same energizing uplift she gives me. What I do know about when we are together is that we never shut up and we never quit laughing. That’s gotta be good for us both.

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Not Snowed-in, But… A Tidbit From L.A., CA

 

When we were on our brief L.A. junket last weekend, Bow Tie o’ the Day and then Tie o’ the Day got their pics snapped while we ate dinner in our hotel’s restaurants. This mini vacay will henceforth be known as The Only Vacation We Ever Took, During Which We Never Left The Hotel, Except Once– To Uber To And From A Nick Cave Concert At The L.A. Forum. Yes, that clunky, overly-long, descriptive name is what it shall be known as, in the history of my life. You’ll be able to look it up in the index.

From Saturday afternoon until Monday morning, we slept and napped and dozed and somnambulated. And when being tired made us hungry, we dined in the hotel restaurants.  We simply could have ordered room service, but I thought that would be just a smidgen too lazy– bordering on the pathetic. But don’t think I didn’t consider doing it.

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I Care About Suzanne’s Ultimate SewingBox’s Feelings

While Suzanne was at work, The Ultimate SewingBox seemed lonely every time I glanced in its direction this afternoon. I figured dressing up its chair might convince it someone was sitting at it. Maybe The Ultimate SewingBox would be convinced it wasn’t alone.

My presence in the room is somehow not enough, even though I’m an actual person. The Ultimate SewingBox doesn’t dislike me, but it hasn’t taken to me. I think that’s because I don’t sit down at it and utilize its many cool features. I can’t appreciate it like Suzanne does, and it knows that fact.

I could tell Tie o’ the Day’s paisley did the trick. I swear I saw The Ultimate SewingBox begin to smile when it noticed the chair was “occupied.” It made an imaginary friend. And now, I will probably need to dress the chair each day, or The Ultimate SewingBox will be extra sad and lonely. It’s my own fault. I couldn’t stand its loneliness. I guess I started a daily tradition.

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Families Are Forever

Tie o’ Yesteryear joined in for a family picture. Guess which one I am. I believe I am the one with the hat, shades, and tie. It’s difficult to tell who is who in my family because, for some inexplicable reason, we all look alike. 😉

I’m pretty sure we were at a wedding when this photo was snapped because I am wearing my couple-kissing-passionately tie, which I do generally wear to weddings. I’m sad you can’t see it better. Maybe another time.

The point I hope to get across to you by presenting this pic is this: I love my loving family and the love we have for each loving other, and the love we love giving to each loving other. Even the loving words “love” and “loving” don’t begin to express the loving love we love each other with. Did I emphasize the words “love” and “loving” enough for you to get at least a hint of the love I love that we have towards each loving one of us? Love R Us. 💙 ❤️ 💜 💛

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This Is Complicated. You Might Have To Read It Twice. I Know I Did.

Tie o’ the Day provides us Halloween colors, while Cufflinks o’ the Day present us with Breast Cancer Awareness Month pink. These ‘links might look plain, but they are James Bond-y. Each one is a functioning USB flash drive, with 8 GB of storage. Imagine how many secrets they can each hold. I can wear these anywhere, and no one will suspect I might have documented spy secrets in my cufflinks. This pair of ‘links– and all the information they contain– will most likely travel with me on our upcoming journeys.

Yes, my scar and my exhaustion and Suzanne and I are flying off again. Next Saturday we head to L.A. for two days, to see a Sunday concert at The Forum. We’ll be seeing a band called Nick Cave and the Bad Seeds. It’s an obscure band, so don’t feel un-cool if you haven’t heard of them. Suzanne and I have listened to them for three decades, and it’s one of Suzanne’s fave bands of all-time. However, we’ve never seen them in concert, and seeing them live is one of the items on Suzanne’s bucket list. The band is giving only two performances in the USA– one in L.A. and one in New York City. Clearly, L.A. is closer and less expensive, so it was an easy choice. We leave next Saturday and fly back that Monday, when we are scheduled to arrive at SLC International about 4 PM.

Here’s where the super-duper crazy part comes in.

Suzanne has a work conference in Albuquerque, beginning Tuesday– the morning after we return from L.A.. I’m going along with her for the ride. Our flight to New Mexico is Monday night, only four hours after our arrival from L.A. We will speed home from the airport in between flights to kiss Skitter and grab different, pre-packed suitcases for our Albuquerque trip. (Suzanne is still in charge of lifting my luggage. Sorry, Suzanne.) Then we’re right back at the SLC airport for the 8 PM flight. We will arrive in Albuquerque– wiped out from a long travel day– late Monday night.

Tuesday morning, Suzanne will wake up early and skip off to work, where she will slave in the dark, damp, dank coal mines of public education. And I will sleep in.

It will be like a regular morning at home. 😜