This post answers a question I have no doubt you’ve lost sleep over: “Does Helen E. wear a bow tie when she swims?” Bow Tie o’ the Swimming-in-Arkansas reveals the obvious answer. Why, yes. Yes, I do.
Have I said I love my old-timey swimming suit lately? Love it, I do. I really could have worn it the entire vacation because of the high humidity. I was practically doggy-paddling through the water-logged air everywhere we went.
These pool photos aren’t all that exciting, although I did a whole program of entertaining swimming pool moves. It’s Suzanne’s fault there are no photos capturing my award-worthy, watery feats. Suzanne and I were bobbin’ around in the pool, and when she got out, I said it was time for her to take my TIE O’ THE DAY pix. I saw her sit on her lounger and pick up her phone. It was pointed in my direction. That was my cue. I popped up and out of the water like a porpoise a couple of times. I did a few bodybuilder poses while standing in the shallow end of the pool. I sang a wet YMCA and spelled it out with my arms exactly how you’re supposed to do it. I walked like an Egyptian. Suzanne’s phone was still pointing straight at me in the water.
However, when Suzanne grabbed her phone, she noticed a bigly bunch of text messages had come through. She promptly forgot about taking pix of me and my hijinks. Of course, I was unaware she was distracted by people who weren’t even in Arkansas. I assumed the phone in front of her face was snapping shots of my poses for all to see.
But no. Nope. No way. It turns out I spent a speshul twenty minutes in the pool being wacky and pleasantly buoyant, and I have no photographic evidence to show for it. When I got out of the pool to lounge on my lounger, Suzanne told me about the debacle. I headed back into the water and attempted to re-create my show. Suzanne was right there shooting pix of me this time, but our efforts were to no avail. I had worn myself out with my first performance. I had no obnoxious water-posing left in me, as you can plainly see.
Thinking about the no-photo session when Suzanne didn’t take pictures of me made me do something I rarely do. I got slightly embarrassed. I had been clowning around and splashing, and I was doing it in front of a crowd full of everyone’s attention but Suzanne’s, and she is always my target audience. Doh!
Oh well. My embarrassment did not last long. I feel bad Suzanne missed my Esther Williams-style production, but I most likely amused at least some of the other pool-goers. They’ll have stories to tell when they go back home. And, above all, I got to wear my stripey, old-timey swimming suit and swim in Bow Tie o’ the Swimming-in-Arkansas. Once again, I live a bigly life.
