Kids’ Tie o’ the Day drove over to Miss Tiffany’s hairs chair with me last evening, and I’m quite pleased with what Miss Tiffany did. Bikini Bow Tie o’ the Day is hanging with me today as I show off my new cut.
I told Miss Tiffany she could cut my hairs any way she wanted, but she would have to keep in mind two things: 1. When we’re done with my hairs theme, I’m gonna want my drastic asymmetrical style back– complete with half-head shave. That’s where I want my hairs to end up. 2. I want her to give me a couple of different cuts over the next few weeks, BEFORE we get to my usual style. That way, I can try out some new variations on a more symmetrical theme. Who knows?! Maybe I’ll find something I like better than my standard ‘do.
Miss Tiffany followed my requests, and here I am with my temporary, new ‘do. This is me right after I woke up this morning. In these photos, I’m exaggerating my asymmetrical sideburns. My hair will look better in coming photos. I didn’t know asymmetrical sideburns are an actual hairstyle-approved thing, but Miss Tiffany says they are “hot.” I believe her.
I know you’re thinking my left sideburn looks like when I was Hugh Jackman from X-MEN, on a Hairs Thursday. I think that too, but I love them.
Sometimes I become impatient with being patient, to the point that I become impatient with myself for being impatient. Even with a kids’ Tie o’ the Day to pal around with, my patience with my head fur has worn deli-sliced thin.
I trust only Miss Tiffany with my hairs, but I am not pleased that Great Clips does not take appointments. On Saturday, June 1st, I called Great Clips to find out if Miss Tiffany was working. She was not, and the manager told me she’d be working today from 2 to 9. This afternoon, I put on my glee and made sure my butt was sitting in the Great Clips reception area by 1:50 PM. NO MISS TIFFANY! Alas, her schedule had been changed. She worked from 9-1 today, and then she works from 6-9 this evening. I coulda been sittin’ in that hairs chair at 9 this morning, if I had been able to read Great Clip’s mind. Frustrating, I tell you!
I was already on an impatience overload. I am soooo hankering to wear some head hairs that make sense. It was all I could do to survive from Saturday until this afternoon. It’s killing me. After months of being ready for the hairs to be cut, you’d think a couple of days more– and then a few more hours– wouldn’t matter. It does. It’s driving me nuts, which means I’m driving myself nuts. It’s not Miss Tiffany who’s making me impatient. I am choosing to drive myself batty over a minor thing.
We are an impatient species, and I don’t know why. There is so much for our brains to appreciate and take stalk of right where we are– no matter where we find ourselves. But no, we gotta have something more, something different, something bigly-er than whoever it is we think we’re in competition with. Life can be fun, but it is not a game. There is no “winning.” Getting there first (wherever “there” is) is not the point. We should spend less time worrying about “winning” and more time helping others get where they’re headed.
I deeply believe we are here to be happy. And I also believe our happiness is individual to us. Mine doesn’t look like yours. In fact, it doesn’t look exactly like anyone else’s. You’re unique, so your happiness will be unique to you. I also believe our happiness is our own responsibility. You’ll get what you create. So you better be careful exactly what it is you’re creating for yourself.
HINT: Never, ever hide your “happy.” Share your happy, even with those who don’t understand it. Happy longs to be shared, spread, and even spilled. Sharing is the finest way to get your own happy to grow.
Wood Tie o’ the Day joins me in celebration of a speshul, speshul, speshul day. It is currently 10:06 AM, and Miss Tiffany will be holding her scissors at her work station at Great Clips at 2 PM. I hope I’m first in line. Even my hairs are counting down the minutes. The hairs that will be chopped off are actually looking forward to laying down their hairsy lives for the greater good of all the hairs which will remain, and for all of us who have witnessed my skid row head fur grow for the past twelve months.
Suzanne is at work with her fingers crossed that I will truly go get the hairs gone and/or shaped up for public viewing. Skitter is vibrating out of sheer excitement at the prospect of once again seeing my head with “real” hairs. She’s not just vibrating because it’s her normal mode. Today, we’re all about the hairs.
I will admit my wrong. Bow Tie o’ the Sabbath and I paid almost no attention whatsoever to whatever was going on in Sacrament Meeting this afternoon. We met up with my Sister Who Wishes To Remain Nameless, whereupon we trekked to Bishop Travis’ ward in Provo for some spiritual edification. Luckily for me and my SWWTRN, Bishopette Collette remembered to bring Grace, their new munchkin, to church with her. So it’s Bishopette Collette’s fault we couldn’t focus our attention on the pulpit.
We love Trav and Co. Always have, always will. And we love church. But a baby is like a puppy or a fire in the fireplace. You can’t look away from them, whether they are doing anything interesting or not. They are near-hypnotic, enthralling entertainment, in and of themselves. If there’s one of these three things in the room, it becomes the centerpiece of everyone’s attention. If you’ve got all three, you’ve won the trifecta. The jackpot prize you receive is your own personal three-ring circus of fascination. And dirty diapers. One of those circus rings will need to be stocked up with diapers.
Here’s a perfect photo, despite no Bow Ties o’ the Day to be seen on anyone. Queen Helen reigns, while Bishop Travis and Bishopette Collette sit to her left. My Sister Who Wishes To Remain Nameless sits on Mom’s right, and she yet again hogs her grandbaby, Grace Anne Blackwelder. And Grandpa Gary is one happy, happy man.
Today is Gary’s birthday, and I am giving him the gift of letting him star on TIE O’ THE DAY. If you have the good fortune to know Gary, you know he is generous and a jokester and a reader. I am also giving him the gift of finally revealing to the world the truth about one of his secret identities: Gary is My Hubby. Years ago, I even printed me a t-shirt to wear around Delta, which said, “GARY’S OTHER WIFE.”
If I needed some “hubby-help” when in Delta, Gary was my guy. Truck won’t start? Call My Hubby. Time to shut-off the outside water for the winter? Call My Hubby. Did the Delta wind rip the front porch screen door off its hinges and toss it into the canal? Have no fear– My Hubby is here! Did the hall light fixture suddenly fall out of the ceiling? That’s a job for My Hubby. I could go on and on.
Be warned: If I’m not in Delta and you mess with Mom, it’ll be My Hubby who gets in your face to handle your misbehavior. I just love that man. He’s My Hubby.
Here it is Saturday, June 1st, and I thought I’d have a new haircut to show you. I’m sure you thought, or hoped, the same thing. It seems Miss Tiffany, mistress of my hairs, doesn’t work until Monday. I’m sorry for you and I’m sorry for myself that we have to endure my hairs the way they are for a couple more days. If I knew where Miss Tiffany lived I’d Uber me and my unclassy hairs right to her front door, and I would beg her to rid me of the offending hairs RIGHT NOW. I’d even bring the scissors.
In this photo, I and my Bow Tie’s o’ the Past are having a bald day with Momo, Zola Wright. Look at Momo’s Earrings o’ the Day! Momo had earrings like I have bow ties. Best. Grandma. Who. Lived. Next. Door. Ever!
This is how I’d like my new hairs to be for a while, but I can’t get the shaved-head idea past Suzanne again. She’s tolerated it twice over the decades, but I can tell she has done hit her top nerve about my having a bald head.
At Suzanne’s last haircut, Miss Tiffany asked her if I would let her cut my hairs any way she wants. You bet! So my first ‘do will be up to Miss Tiffany. She has tattoos, so I trust her taste in hairs. I will gladly put my head hairs in her hands. I hope my year-old hairs are not impossible to redeem.
