Day: January 1, 2019

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The Kind Of Weight I Like To Gain

Tie o’ the Day I’m wearing is a tie for Hanukkah. My sideways Bow Tie o’ the Day is in honor of Kwanzaa. I have to apologize for not doing my official Hanukkah and Kwanzaa posts. (I will handle those holiday posts next year. I promise. Unless…) I planned to write about those two other celebrations, and then my extreme bipolar depression hit me. I spent most of December in a funk that kept me from focusing on certain things. It was all I could do to sometimes kinda fake having the Christmas spirit. It was even difficult to keep the holiday neckwear theme going on TIE O’ THE DAY posts. I’ll be fine. I always am. My head will eventually swing back into a relatively level mental equilibrium.

Anyhoo…

Sing it along with me and Willie Nelson : “To all the Neckwear o’ the Day I’ve worn before…”

Look at what Suzanne and I caught over this Christmas/Hanukkah/Kwanzaa season. To heck with fish stories, I tell bow tie and tie stories. And what I’m going to tell you next is not a fib. I’m not stretching the truth when I say the total poundage of the season’s festive neckwear I wore adds up to 32.2 pounds. Yup. Since mid-November, I’ve worn 4.8 pounds of Bow Ties o’ the Day, and 27.4 pounds of Ties o’ the Day. Gee, no wonder one of my rotator cuffs is a pain in the shoulder. All that additional tie tying and bow tie clasping. All that extra carrying o’ the ties and bow ties.

Drum roll, please! The final HOLIDAY TIE TALLY: 107 Bow ties. 217 Neckties. The end.

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The Tie Room Says, “Merry New Year, Y’all!”

Bow Tie o’ the Day’s design from Beau Ties, LTD is called “First Night.” And it must have been a strange First Night around here, because I woke up in Bow Tie and this ugly ugly ugly sweater. I can’t tell if this little dude on the sweater is supposed to be Santa, an elf, or a gnome. Confusion abounds.

Also, apparently Suzanne tied one on and decided to make a quilt on the floor. She really did TIE one on. So, that’s what colorful duct tape is for!?! This floor thing is a quilting shortcut I’ve never actually seen before. Oh, well. A new year, a new experience.

That’s my Martinelli’s Sparkling Cider on the table. Aside from being bubbly, its characteristics do not remotely resemble real champagne. But it must have intoxicated me somehow, because I remembered nothing about any of these happenings until I finally woke up and came downstairs this morning.

Yeah, what a wild night it must have been here in my own home. Come to think of it, it was quite a typical night around here– except for the loss of memory induced by the Martinelli’s Sparkling Cider. I won’t drink that again.

HOLIDAY TIE TALLY: 106 Bow ties. 216 Neckties.