I WONDER

 

Tie o’ the Day is a purple harlequin design by Alfani. Shirt is a brushed cotton plaid by Sonoma. What I don’t know is this: Why are “flannel” shirts almost exclusively plaid? Is plaid inherently warmer than other patterns? This is one of those BIG QUESTIONS about our existence, I think. It’s right up there with, “Why are we here?” and “Is there life after death?”.

I want to collaborate with Mercedes on a book about questions people want answered the minute they get to the Pearly Gates. I call ’em Bucket Questions, cuz you have to die to find out the truth. This plaid/flannel shirt question is one of mine. In fact, I think most people’s Bucket Questions are pretty specific and could be answered succinctly. We simply want to know what’s up. Here are a few more questions I want answered:

  • What is the big deal about soccer?
  • How many certifiable fools were on the jury of O. J.’s murder trial?
  • Who killed Jon Benet?
  • Does Donald Trump stick his head in a cotton candy machine to build his hair?
  • Why is Michael Strahan ubiquitous?
  • Is there a special circle of Hell for the Dallas Cowboys and New York Yankees? (Oh, please, tell me that there is. And tell me that I’m not going there.)
  • Is Araby waiting for me right behind those Gates?

C’mon. You know you have a bunch of your own bigly and/or minuscule questions flying around in your head, begging for answers. Make your own Bucket Question List. Share it. Just don’t be in a hurry to get into the Pearly-Gated Community, where the answers are waiting to meet their questions.