Witty & Wise Ties, Trivia & Lies
Bow Tie o’ the Day was delivered on my front door step by Fed-Ex this morning. It is my first bow tie from my Wooden-Bow-Tie-Of-The-Month Club. I can’t decide whether it is sleeping in a nest or a manger. Is it fowl or mammal? Will it learn to fly out of its nest? Or will it crawl out of its manger, all wobbly and trying to find its legs? It makes no difference to me. I will love and wear it whatever way it emerges. 🕊 🐩 🎀
Bow Tie o’ the Day celebrates International Women’s Day, which shouldn’t be just one day. It should be a 24/7, 365 party. Alkaline battery Cufflinks o’ the Day remind us to thank and honor the energized women around us, who care for us and build us up throughout our lives. These women are so constantly present that we sometimes forget to appreciate them. It seems as if sometimes we don’t even see them in the foreground/background, helping and encouraging us to become stupendous, moral, fascinating people. See them. 👁
I could not fall asleep the entire night, so I took to the couch and watched asinine programs on tv. I chose bright Tie o’ the Day and matching cloth Cufflinks, in hopes of the bright green keeping me awake all day as I errand. I feel like a zombie. No, I AM a zombie. There better not be any such thing as a DWZ: Driving While Zombie. I know I am transformed, because Skitter refuses to sit by me. This too shall pass. I think. 😴
Even though I am a full-time missionary for clash fashion (clashion?), I, too, own single-colored shirts. This Bow Tie o’ the Day is a way to make the plain into the WOWZER!!! Bow Tie is outlined with battery-powered, fluorescent yellow light. And the light has two flash speeds. A photograph can’t show the fullness of Bow Tie’s flashy moves. You’ll have to trust me. Here, I’m in a closed-eyes, giddy blur– due to the wild, optical assault by Bow Tie’s lighted action. Life’s good! And damn interesting! 💡 👀 😎
Bow Tie o’ the Day asked me what I want for my upcoming birthday. When anyone asks what I want, I always say, “A non-flaming pancreas”– instead of my actual Hanky Panky. But really, I’m a lucky gal. I already have everything I need and want. I don’t mind getting older, but when I estimate how much longer I will likely live, I know it’s not enough time for me. I have people to love, and love to receive. And I have ties to nurture.❣ 👔
Bow Tie o’ the Day and ‘Links o’ the Day are a bit watermelon-y. I’ve had the weirdest cravings lately. Today, I ate an entire box of Cinnamon Life cereal, and then consumed some watermelon. When we were vacationing in Monterey last month, I ate nothing but calamari and Red Vines licorice. I eat oddly, in general. But these are new levels of food combinations for me. Remember the cliché about pregnant women craving ice cream and pickles? Sounds yummy. I better not be pregnant. 😱 🙀
Bow Tie o’ the Day is my latest acquisition. The wood doggie do-dad thrills me, and the lush partridge and pheasant feathers are both soft and splendid. I photographed it alone, so you could gander at its ornithological grandeur. I often pet its silky feathers. FYI Suzanne is relatively pain-free after her lithotripsy trip to the hospital yesterday. She does have a patch of what resembles road rash on her side where the laser shot through her. But she’s peeing sandy rocks, which is a good sign. 🚽
Bow Tie o’ the Day declares it’s official: Suzanne doesn’t just have strength of character. She also has strength of kidney stones! Today, her humongous kidney stone defeated the Laser o’ Lithotripsy. I’ve always known Suzanne was tough, with a big splash of stubbornness. I just didn’t know she passed these qualities on to her kidney stones. This particular stone is 3.2 cm long, and the doc says she’s been creating it for years. The lithotripsy laser was unable to blow it to smithereens. What’s next? Dunno. ⛰ 🏋️♀️ 🤷🏻♀️
This Tie o’ the Day is an answer to any “what-kinda-tie-do-I-wear-today?” question. This morning we’re venturing to the hospital, where Suzanne’s bigly, gnarly kidney stone will be lasered into tinier, gnarly stones for her to pee out of her system. This procedure, called LITHOTRIPSY, is a new chapter in Suzanne’s book o’ kidney stones adventures. The next few weeks of peeing rocks will be fruitful for Suzanne though: She can add to her collection of past, passed gems. But unlike me, Suzanne doesn’t wear what she collects. 😱 💎
Bow Tie o’ the Day tidied the house, and discovered our money tree died. The tree was a got-hitched gift four years ago. I thought I couldn’t kill this plant, but I did. I insist we don’t use the money to purchase any kind of living or inanimate greenery. I’m thinking we oughta buy either a new dryer or a sailboat. Suzanne gets seasick, but not dryer sick, so I can guess which thing she’ll vote for. Her vote’s the one that counts. She’s our Electoral College. 🤢 ⛵