Witty & Wise Ties, Trivia & Lies
Ties o’ the Day cover three tie types. It’s probably impossible for y’all to believe, but there are occasionally days when I cannot decide what kind of neckwear is right for that specific day. Today I pulled out trusty bow tie cufflinks to meet part of my urge. And fortunately, I have a wonderful tie that’s decorated with a bolo. This is a day rich with tiedom. I hope I can carry it off. It’s a lot of responsibility for a tie missionary to be so blessed.
Bow Tie o’ the Day is whispering that it’s time for Miss Tiffany to cut my hairs again. Bow Tie is wise. Even though she remembers, I always tell Miss Tiffany to make sure she cuts my hairs in such a way that I can do good sticky-up, and can have some grand cowlick-ing expressing itself. Miss Tiffany is much in demand, so it takes a while to get an appointment with her. When we finally get together for snipping, we enjoy comparing our tattoos. 💇 💈
Love me my Art Deco-style Tie o’ the Day. Cufflinks o’ the Day portray my breakfast. Yes, sometimes I do eat appropriate food at the proper time. But not often. Please check out all the material and other sewing accessories behind me. That is Suzanne’s, of course. And it’s stacked up and covering the entire kitchen island. The ironing board is set up at the side. Suzanne has filled up her craft room, and the eatin’ table is covered with sewing machines. No room for actually eating.
Ties o’ the Day decked out Hombre for St. Paddy’s Day next week. Antenna Tie got the best deal, in my opinion. It flies in utter giddiness when we’re on I-15. Grill Tie, not so much. But Grill Tie is also pleased to travel AND simultaneously collect the bugs that go splat on it. Silly entomologist! (Or is the word “enTIEmologist?”) I don’t try to understand why otherwise normal beings have wacky hobbies, like collecting dead bugs. People who live in glass tie houses shouldn’t judge. 🚩 🐞 👔
Ties o’ the Day got a bigly piece of my mind! I had a come-to-Jesus meltdown at them! LOUDLY! You parents know what it’s like when you’ve reached your limit with something your kids do. Or sometimes something they don’t do. The dishes weren’t done. The floors weren’t mopped or vacuumed. The laundry was stacked to the gills of the laundry room. Not one chore had been done, and there they sat on the loveseat, binge-watching THE CLOSER. My explosion is still raining down on them. 😡 ⛈
Tie o’ the Day stars in that moment when you look at your desk, and see the towering piles of projects you promised yourself last month you’d get to “tomorrow,” and you’re so freaked out by the still-not-done mess, that you take off your lush green, black, and lavender tie, lay it on the desk, and stare at Tie o’ the Day’s hypnotic paisley for an hour, before you can even begin to burrow through the task mountain you’ve created. Yup, that moment. 🙀 📑 📃 📥
Skittles Bow Tie o’ the Day accompanied us to my thrilling birthday evening at BAMBARA, for a bass and scallops dinner, and then to the Capitol Theater for an opera doubleheader of PAGLIACCI and GIANNI SCHICCHI. I chose the Skittles bow tie because some people take “high culture” too seriously. A hint of clashy levity in your formal fashion tells others that although you’re at a sophisticated event, you’re here to be art-edified AND have a blast. Suzanne looks smashing. And I look like the circus I am. 🤡 🎪 🤹♀️
I had a pleasant dilemma while getting dressed. What neckwear clashes with opera? Suzanne’s taking me to dinner and the opera, PAGLIACCI, for my birthday. The Italian word translates to “sad clown,” which perfectly describes my essence. I wish I had opera glasses though, because they would be a swanky, snooty fashion accessory. I can’t believe in all my years of buying stuff I don’t need, I’ve never purchased a pair o’ opera glasses. What the fruitcake is wrong with me? Besides hoarding ties, I mean. 🎭
Duct tape Bow Tie o’ the Day is ready to shower. It’s my fifty-damn-fourth birfday 🤡, and Suzanne tells me big plans are afoot. I think this pic is telling me that, despite being out of bed for three hours, it’s probably time I wake all the way up and take a shower. I must get dressed in proper clash for my birfday 😜 occasion. I know you’ve been wondering, and the answer is… yes, I do shower in a bow tie. I’d feel downright naked if I didn’t. 🤣
Bow Ties/Tie o’ the Day add their panache to the clash-a-rama of my entire get-up. The hot-ness of this sexy outfit is undeniable. Thus, my fire extinguisher Cufflinks o’ the Day are absolutely necessary for my safety, and for the safety of passers-by. Skitter nearly went up in flames when she nuzzled against my shouting duds. The scene was like an Old West shoot-out. Skitter almost got singed, so I drew my trusty fire extinguishers. I shot that spark dead! Skitter’s wisely keeping her skittish distance. 🔥