I told y’all that a bigly wall of bipolar depression fell on me a couple of weeks ago. It kept me from creating posts. I didn’t even spend time in the Tie Room. I wasn’t having fun, that’s for sure. I tell you about what goes on in my life because it’s part of my life, which is where I get my stories–good, bad, ugly, or mythical. Maybe my exploits can aid someone else. It’s all part of the TIE O’ THE DAY project. I don’t do the pity party thing, but I appreciate the concern my readers express when the posts don’t show up. I’d like nothing better than to say TIE O’ THE DAY won’t disappear again, but it will most likely happen from time to time. If you’re a longtime reader, you’ve been through it before. And the world goes on, whether I’m depressed, manic, or level–as it should. I am very well aware that I am not now, nor have I ever been the center of the universe. And thank the heavens for that! Can you imagine the fashion laws I would put into effect?!
Anyhoo…At the beginning of this last round of heavy depression, I was invited to a birthday party for Bishop Travis (really old) and Gracie (6 months). As hard as it is to believe, I did not want to go to a birthday lunch for two of my favorite people-blessings. Our group of partygoers was supposed to meet in Nephi for lunch, and I was thinking of excuses to not show up to the festivities even past the moment I crossed into the Nephi city limits. My heart was not in it. My head was not in it. My depressed spirit hurt too much with an amorphous, morbid heaviness which no one can ever explain. I’ve been down this road many times, and the only trick is to just show up. Just do it. Put on your Bow Tie o’ the Day and walk into the celebration.
We met at Lisa’s Kitchen. My hubby, Gary, and my Sister Who Wishes To Remain Nameless, brought Mom. Bishop Travis and Bishopette Collette brought their wee Grace Anne. We talked, and laughed, and ate, and couldn’t get enough of The Gracie Roadshow.
I’m glad I didn’t stay home alone. I’d like to say the birthday lunch with family restored my soul to high happiness, but that would not be true. Depression doesn’t work like that. I enjoyed myself. I hope others enjoyed me being there. But I know how depression works, and I knew not to expect bigly transformation of my sorry spirits. I did the best I could to be part of my lunch-eating family party. I’m able to appreciate the experience more and more as I gradually improve into my “level” state of mind, my normal.
The day was an incredible treat. Next, I’ll post about two more magical events of the past week.