I spent most of the afternoon at home, listening to loud music while I worked. That’s why I’m showing you my sheet music Face Mask o’ the Day. I love music, but I have no talent for creating it whatsoever. I took a year or so of piano lessons from Glenna Moody, culminating in my recital performance of a piece called “The Prairie Song.” If I remember correctly, the song sounded a lot like “Book of Mormon Stories,” so I liked it. Unfortunately, despite Glenna Moody’s skillful instruction, none of what I learned from piano lessons stuck. On most of my Delta Elementary report cards, my only bad marks were in music and art. How is it even possible for a kid to do poorly in elementary school music and art? I guess I worked really hard to find a way to fail at something every other kid had no chance of failing. Let’s face it: I was a music spaz. I am meant to sing only when alone in my car or my house, although I have always been an avid listener to most types of music. I was born to hide my musical ineptitude under a bushel for the good of all mankind’s ears, and I was also born to sit in the audience and clap my gratitude for those who have the musical aptitude.