Category: Ties

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It’ll Be Prison Visit Windows Or Fast Food Windows, If Ya Don’t Wise Up

Tie o’ the Day’s snazzy clash with Shirt is serendipitous, cuz I didn’t purposely match colors. I grabbed the first tie and the first shirt I touched in the closet. Cufflinks were definitely a conscious choice. In Baltimore, I often talked with law-breaking students about making better choices. I’d tell them, “If you don’t start making positive choices, when we see each other in the future, it’ll be at The Windows of Life. And you’re gonna be asking me, ‘Do you want fries with that’?” 🍔 🍟 Education matters. 🎓

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Suzanne Promised To Make Me A Cape. So Where Is It?

Tie o’ the Day and I feel batty. Cufflinks join us in their Batman capes. Added Bonus: The capes’ Bat Signs glow in the dark! We aren’t hangin’ in the Bat Cave, nor are there bats in my belfry. I have a tattoo on my left shoulder that says Mom’s version of a curse word: HELFRY! Yes, it rhymes with BELFRY. That word comes out of her mouth when she’s angry. For example, she might say, “Helfry! Why didn’t those cookies rise like I wanted? Darn flour!” 🍪

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Ties Will Climb, If You Allow Them To

When I bought Tie o’ the Day at the Salvador Dali exhibit in Monterey, I knew it would feel at home in our house when it saw our living room clock. I was correct. I often look up to check the time, and Tie is hangin’ and chattin’ with its clock pal. The Dali painting which inspired Tie is one of his most widely known. It’s called THE PERSISTENCE OF MEMORY, and its melting clocks sometimes remind me of how, over time, Mom’s memories are melting away. 😭

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Southern Utah Ties Were Illegally Smuggled Into My House

Tie/Bow Tie o’ the Day are evidence of a crime. It was committed on my behalf, by my better half. Apparently, my maniacal passion for ties has become a bad influence on the hallowed/haloed Suzanne. While she was in Southern Utah for work this week, she became a flat-out thief — just for me — when she stole these DO NOT DISTURB placards from her hotel room. Honestly, I’m glad she was bad. I’ll be hanging these on doorknobs of rooms I occupy wherever I go, especially My Tie Room!

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Suzanne Must Think The Lightbulbs Never Burn Out

Tie o’ the Day clashes properly with Shirt, but I should’ve worn a bow tie. I’ve been climbing ladders to replace dead lightbulbs, and ties kinda get in the way. Cufflinks o’ the Day met their bigger, brighter counterparts. For them, seeing real lightbulbs must have seemed like seeing The Jolly Light Giant. I don’t change bulbs if Suzanne’s around. We have high ceilings, and she frets my tremors will toss me off the ladder. If I ever have to call her from the ER, I’m toast. 💡 🏥

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The Higher The Hair, The Closer To God

Tie o’ the Day presents the only kind of flowers I can make thrive. I am a serial plant killer. My black thumb has killed every plant — garden and indoor — I’ve ever had. And my skills at annihilation don’t stop with plants: I somehow managed to kill the pet rocks I owned in the 70’s. ⛰ 🥀 Be sure to check out my hairs’ side-mohawk. Soon, I’ll be able to comb it over to the longer side. While it grows out, I’m playing silly games with its heights. 🙀

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The Atlantic Ocean Misses Me And My Ties

Tie o’ the Day’s a cozy flannel, which– with a flannel shirt–  is the only way to wear a flannel blanket outdoors. I’m very hatty these days, cuz my ears are cold. And they’ll probably stay frozen until June. I wanna say May, but we always get that late Spring freeze and snowstorm. And that will be right after the flora begins to bloom. When I lived in the D.C. area, I could wear shorts and no ear coverings from February to October. My legs miss that. 🏖

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I’m Teed Off That I Feel Yucky

This evening’s Tie o’ the Day brings us a hip golfer. I don’t have a tidbit or tale to tell about it. I simply haven’t felt up to snuff all day, and I haven’t got the oomph to write even a small guffaw in this post. But I still wanted to grace you with a second, lush Tie o’ the Day to gaze upon. I’m sure I’ll be back to sarcasm and snark tomorrow. ☹️

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Skitter Hogs The DVD Player

Skitter’s Tie o’ the Day is adamant about Skitter’s plans for today. Yes, Skitter communicates through ties, just like I do. She throws one on only occasionally, but when she dons one, we stand at attention. Recently, she discovered PINK PANTHER cartoons, and she is addicted. We’ll be binge-watching  the pink critter all day. Can heading out to the movies to see BLACK PANTHER be far behind? Fortunately, Skitter is wiry and quiet, so I can easily sneak her into the theater in my back pocket. 📀 📺 📽

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I Grumble That Ties Aren’t Deductions

We went to get our taxes done and filed, and I left home wearing Bow Tie o’ the Day. How did things turn out? Well, I left the H & R Block office wearing this Tie o’ the Day and the barrel it shows. Nah, it really did work out just fine, and we aren’t going to have to sell any spare limbs or organs. Like I said this morning, the list of what my tiny taxes build, create, preserve, plan, etc. is endless. I’m thankful. 📄 ✒ 💰