Witty & Wise Ties, Trivia & Lies
I was answering email, and Tie o’ the Day whispered, “Pssst! Check out O.G. Big Helen!” Mom was stylin’ in her sunglasses, for no apparent reason. She just wanted to wear them. And when she napped an hour later, she still wore them. She snored mightily in her shades. Mom simply knows how to class up wherever she finds herself roaming. I don’t try to figure out where her mind takes her these days. I just try to go along, keep her safe, and enjoy the ride.
It doesn’t matter to me that this photo is a bigly blur. To me, it’s a blur of sheer affection. Bow Tie o’ the Day is blurred too, but it’s properly blinged for driving to fetch Mom. Skitter’s driving with me, in her cushy car bed. Mom likes animals, but she’s never been what you might call “fond of” or close with our pets. However, she adores Skitter. Skitter is the only critter I’ve ever seen her pet. And Skitter sleeps on Mom’s feet during our sleepovers.
I wanted to accentuate beauteous Tie o’ the Day by showcasing it against a solid-color shirt. But Tie felt lonely without clash, so I paired it with a camo-esque shirt. The ensuing clash made me feel less a stranger in this world, as well. I don’t match. I don’t care that I don’t match. I don’t mind when other people match. Don’t try to make me match. I was born to be singularly effervescent and vocal. Speaking of those qualities… tomorrow, Mom’s coming for many sleepovers. 😺 😃
I had a massive grocery list, so this Tie o’ the Day shopped with me– in case my debit card couldn’t cover the purchase total. A shopper asked if I would share Tie’s bucks. Cufflinks o’ the Day depict a 5-speed gear shift. Hombre’s a manual, and shifting makes me feel hot-rod-y. Hombre struggles on wet, wintry roads, even with tube sand in the back. I’m ecstatic that this mild winter allows me to drive it more often. I hope the weather stays un-wintry. Knock on clouds. ✊ 🚘 🚚 🌤
Tie o’ the Day and I happily killed a bunch of time (see the clockworks on Cufflinks o’ the Day) at the bookstore and two other stores, while Suzanne touched every item sold at MICHAEL’S. That is only slightly an exaggeration. Craft/fabric stores take Suzanne hostage when she walks in. Such stores are like amusement parks to her. She emerges from them after hours of play, in one of two ways. Either she bought one trinket for a buck, or she bought an entire aisle of yarn. 🛍 🛒 🏬
Choosing the correct Tie o’ the Day is always of utmost importance, but today it’s a bigly-er deal than usual. And not just cuz it’s St. Paddy’s Day. This afternoon, I have an appointment with Dr. Bipolar. She’s a skillful doc, and she enjoys my tie thing. But I wonder if she tries to read into what my tie choices might mean about my pendulum head. So, when picking out an appointment tie, I always think things like: “Does this tie make my mania look big?” 😬
Tie o’ the Day is called a puff tie. It looks like a combo of a cravat and a necktie, with a hint of a Colonel Sanders tie in it, too. CHEERIOS Cufflinks o’ the Day definitely star in this post though. I am a serial cereal killer. When I was wee, every Saturday, Mom let me buy a box of cereal. I chose based on the coolest prize inside the box. Blast from the past! Anybody remember VAN’s, or MR. G’S, or DOVE’S, or HAPPY SERVICE?
Ties o’ the Day cover three tie types. It’s probably impossible for y’all to believe, but there are occasionally days when I cannot decide what kind of neckwear is right for that specific day. Today I pulled out trusty bow tie cufflinks to meet part of my urge. And fortunately, I have a wonderful tie that’s decorated with a bolo. This is a day rich with tiedom. I hope I can carry it off. It’s a lot of responsibility for a tie missionary to be so blessed.
Love me my Art Deco-style Tie o’ the Day. Cufflinks o’ the Day portray my breakfast. Yes, sometimes I do eat appropriate food at the proper time. But not often. Please check out all the material and other sewing accessories behind me. That is Suzanne’s, of course. And it’s stacked up and covering the entire kitchen island. The ironing board is set up at the side. Suzanne has filled up her craft room, and the eatin’ table is covered with sewing machines. No room for actually eating.
Ties o’ the Day decked out Hombre for St. Paddy’s Day next week. Antenna Tie got the best deal, in my opinion. It flies in utter giddiness when we’re on I-15. Grill Tie, not so much. But Grill Tie is also pleased to travel AND simultaneously collect the bugs that go splat on it. Silly entomologist! (Or is the word “enTIEmologist?”) I don’t try to understand why otherwise normal beings have wacky hobbies, like collecting dead bugs. People who live in glass tie houses shouldn’t judge. 🚩 🐞 👔