Witty & Wise Ties, Trivia & Lies
No, that’s not me you’re seeing. Tie o’ the Day is worn by my look-alike niece, MiMi. So see, I’ve converted at least one person to the tie way of life, for at least one day. MiMi is my doppelgänger. I call her Wee Dopp. We really are the same person. If one of us were a Hollywood star in an action movie, the other one of us could be the stunt double. Wherever we are– separate or together– we are a circus, without even trying to be. 🤡 🤡
Update from Tie o’ the Day: We snagged our 2019 P!NK tickets, so we’re already busy for the evening of next April 3. Also, my ride-along with the Davis County Sheriff’s Office was re-scheduled to next week. Apparently, there was a little snafu with my pre-ride background check. The DCSO nabbed me making a bigly oops over a decade ago, and they wanted to make sure I bear them no grudges. Nope. Ultimately, I’ve checked out to be a reformed and law-abiding citizen. 🍺 🚗 🚓 🚫 I wised up. #serenitycouragewisdom
Sometimes a girl just wants a chin beard. Bow Tie o’ the Day is happy to help me. And sometimes one bow tie is not enough to get you through the day. Again, Bow Tie rises to the challenge. I doubt I will venture out into the urban environment like this, because some people have such a hard time dealing with my neckwear that facial neckwear would cause apoplexy everywhere I go. They do not understand the Bow Tie/Tie philosophy. I’m a tie missionary, but within reason. 👔
Bow Tie/Tie o’ the Day are ready for the Kentucky Derby. I choose the horse I’m gonna root for based on the horse’s name. This year, there aren’t what I consider to be interesting names, so I’m going with Good Magic. I was in Kentucky once, for a linguistics conference. Lexington, not Derby territory. But blue-grassed horse farms were everywhere. I’ve never consumed a mint julep: the Derby drink. I wish I had. I’ve also never worn an amazingly elaborate hat like women wear to the Derby. Unbelievable. 🐴 🥃 👒
Tie o’ the Day needed consoling. I was curious whether post pictures of bow ties or ties get the most LIKEs. Bow ties won, as I suspected. But I assured the worried neckties they’ll still star in posts. After all, neckties are what I first began collecting decades ago. The bow ties started coming to live with me only about four years ago. People who star in the posts? Mom’s appearances get the most LIKEs. Suzanne and I together come in second. Little ol’ I am third. 👍
Yesterday’s tank top jinxed the weather. Today, it’s rainy and chilly and mucky and muddy and just generally yucky. Hence, I’m in a flannel, long-sleeved shirt. I chose this Tie o’ the Day to really do some angry clash with it. The only good thing about a long-sleeved shirt on the last day of April is that I can wear Cufflinks o’ the Day. I went with purple bling. When I lived in Maryland, I could wear shorts from March to October. At least Utah has bigly-er sky.
That moment when you realize you have a weird website about ties, on which you post pictures — mostly of yourself– , and you’re running out of faces to pull. Anyhoo… Bow Tie o’ the Day is a floppy-style wood piece. I’m wearing it with– get ready for it– a tank top. Oh, the happiness! It’s tank top weather! I have mentioned it before, but it deserves repeating: No matter how wrinkly and fat I get, I’m gonna wear my tanks. If you don’t like it, avert your eyes!
Tie o’ the Day has me wrapped up in worry about parking in downtown SLC tonight, for HAMILTON at the Eccles Theater. Seriously, the Jazz host OKC for a playoff game at the same time as our show, so prime parking spots will be bigly tough to find. Oh, life is full of these enormous problems! How do we even make it through our days and nights, with things like parking spaces weighing on our minds? Alas! I really don’t know how we all survive such perils. 🚗 🏢
Hey! A monocle! Along with this eyepiece, Tie o’ the Day joins bowler-ed notebook (with ‘stache) in celebrating nifty cultural icons. So far, I haven’t found a bowler that fits my noggin, but that doesn’t mean I’m not hunting. I wish I had one to wear to HAMILTON tonight, although a three-cornered hat would be more appropriate. I don’t have one of those either, but I do remember making them with construction paper and staples, in elementary school for President’s Day. I sense an idea coming on. 🎩
Tie o’ Last Night is worn by Suzanne The Great. The tie’s hula skirt actually sways. Suzanne borrowed my shirt and tie for the Gala, cuz she doesn’t have beach clothing. Guess what she bid on, and won, in the silent auction? Mascara. I did not mis-type that. She bid an astronomical amount of money on mascara. Oh well, the money went to meet students’ needs. But still… MASCARA? Let me repeat that again: MASCARA! You can bet I’ll make her share it with me. Yeah, right! 👁 🏖