I Didn’t Mean To. Both Times.

Tie o’ the Day makes its sweet point with its talky sweet hearts. I’ve always enjoyed getting and giving the little boxes of candy hearts, but they really aren’t very tasty. It’s their shape and their tiny messages that make them an annual have-to-have. It’s a childhood nostalgia thing.

I’ve been posting all kinds of lovey-dovey family lore this week to add to the Valentine’s Day spirit, but I have to make a bit of a sidetrack this morning. I must report on two of this week’s happenings. To put these incidents in context, remember that I had a major surgery six months ago, which I’m sure you’re tired of hearing about in my posts. My recovery has gone wondrously well, although I still feel tugs and pulls and weird pains in my gut on occasion– especially behind my itchy scar. I’m still somewhat limited in my physical activities, especially those which require me to move quickly or use my belly muscles.

The first incident, which occurred a few days ago, is what I refer to as The Calamitous Attack of the Wrapping Paper Tube. The simplest way to explain it is this: One end of a tube of Christmas wrapping paper was sticking out of a storage bin which happened to be temporarily sitting by the pantry– on its way to be stored in the garage until next year.

As I emerged from the pantry, I ran directly into the end of the tube. The wrapping paper isn’t usually in that spot, so I didn’t even think of it before I turned around. I have a normal-size, well-fed tummy– so there’s plenty of free skin-space to be poked hard by a tube, with negligible risk, but of course the tube attempted to impale me precisely on my scar. It felt like someone had rammed a metal cookie cutter into my wound. I can tell semi-important internal things beneath my scar got injured a bit, although I can also feel that it wasn’t a major injury. The normal strange tugs and pulls I’ve felt since surgery are now stranger, and it feels like my scar and beneath it is a complete bruise. Small setback, it is. But who knew a roll of Christmas wrapping paper could even spear a scar? I know it now. Watch out for wrapping paper tubes.

Second incident. Yesterday, Skitter and I were returning home from our walkie to the mailbox. As we walked back, I spied a guy walking a medium-size, leashed dog on our side of the street. Knowing Skitter’s fear of everything, I crossed us to the sidewalk on the other side of the street. A few seconds later, I realized Skitter had seen the other mutt, because she began to shake. On we walked toward home.

Apparently, the other dog noticed The Skit, pulled its leash out of its owner’s hand, and ran across the road to us– baring its teeth at Skitter. I reached down to pick up Skitter, but not quickly enough. Skitter’s absolute, monstrous fear caused her to pull out of her leash collar and run in the direction of home. Of course, the other dog chased after her. I couldn’t think of anything except getting to Skitter before she got hurt in a dogfight, or simply died of being petrified by the entire happening. I RAN! For almost two blocks, I RAN! It did not occur to me running is not allowed at this point in the recovery of my gut. And, of course, I haven’t out-and-out run since the late-90’s. But still, I love Skitter. There was no debate about what I should do, so I RAN!

As I ran after her, I saw Skitter almost get hit by a car. And when I turned the corner and saw her close to our house, the other dog was circling Skitter as she curled into a ball and cowered. (That’s what she does when she’s afraid and doesn’t have a safe blanket.) I had been putting up such a racket during the whole chase that when I finally got pretty close to the dogs, the other dog high-tailed it off to find its owner. Because of my yelling, and because she knew she wasn’t supposed to tug on her leash or leave my side, Skitter also thought I was angry at her. She immediately peed on the porch, in fright and relief. When we got back into the house, she holed-up in her crate. I made it clear I wasn’t mad at her. She believed me and sat between me and Suzanne. But because of the dog almost-fight, she didn’t stop shaking for an hour. She was a walking fur ball of trauma all evening.

This morning, I have two fears which are bugging me: 1. Did the The Calamitous Attack of the Wrapping Paper Tube, combined with the running to save The Skit, cause bigly damage to my healing innards? I’m certainly in more pain than I was before these two incidents happened. 2. Will Skitter now be too frightened to go on our walkies again? Remember, it took her five years to finally be comfortable enough to get excited to do her walkies. She only truly began to enjoy her walkies in the last few months. I’m hoping Skitter and I have not created humongous setbacks for ourselves.

On the other hand, Skitter and I are both tough broads. (We learned to be tough broads from Mom, the Queen of Tough Broads.) The Skit and I have been through a plethora of not-so-good experiences in our different lives, so we already know that these things, too, shall pass.

Mom’s A Looker

When I was gathering my Valentine’s Day ties and bow ties to use in my posts, I hadn’t planned to create so many posts about Mom and Dad. But I’m finding it to be quite fun, and y’all seem to be liking the pix and stories about their love affair too. Thus, I’ll put aside some of the other Valentine-y ideas I intended to present, and the neckwear and I will show and tell a few more snippets about my parents.

Tie o’ the Day is content to hang in the background, while Mom stars in this morning’s pix. These are evidence of Mom’s alluring ways. Dad was born into a beekeeping family, and bees were his thing. He was crazy for bees from the minute he could toddle. Based on that fact, I have no doubt Dad thought the photo of Mom dressed up in beekeeper attire was the sexiest of these two pictures. Mom does have nice legs though.

I posted the following story about Mom and Dad a couple of years ago, but I’ll tell it again for those who might have missed it:

Dad’s family lived in Delta. Mom was from Oak City, where the kids went to school until high school, when the Oak City-ites finally rode the bus to Delta High School every day. Mom and Dad didn’t know each other until that came to pass.

But they had sort of met once before high school. Dad and his pals were at the swimming pool at the same time Mom was there with her friends. (I think it was the Oak City pool.) Mom was standing by the edge of the pool when Dad walked by and pushed her in.

Mom was ticked, turned to her gal pals, and said, “Ignernt Delta boys!”

Dad smiled, turned to his friends, and said, “I’m gonna marry that girl.”

And he did. And she wasn’t even a bee.

Because It Showed Up In The Mail

Tie o’ the Day helped me be kinda matchy as I dressed up in my version of black-tie attire for a night in the city of Salt. Yes, I wore my black-and-white harlequin cape. (Apparently, I also wore a creepy face.)

I don’t know if this happens where you live, but we often get impersonal, bulk mail invitations in the mailbox to attend retirement, investment, insurance, or time-share seminars. They lure you with a free meal. You show up, listen to their pitch, then you get your free food.

When we got one of these retirement seminar invitations recently, I said to my weird self, “Hey, this thing will qualify as a Weird Date Night.” I immediately made reservations. I told Suzanne to put WEIRD DATE on her calendar for that evening, and I didn’t tell her anything about what we would actually be doing. A few days before the event was scheduled to happen, I finally had to inform her of the particulars so she’d know how to dress, and she’d know to not chow down on anything bigly that day.

We’ve never done this type of Weird Date Night before, and we probably won’t do it again. It’s not right to show up to hear about something we have no interest in doing, and then eat for free. But we like new experiences– especially if they’re out of the ordinary. And if they include free food, that’s an enticing bonus.

This particular seminar was happening at Ruth’s Chris Steak House, so it was a no-brainer. I knew up front that part of signing up for this sales pitch meant the company would call us and email us to “follow-up” the next day, which they did. And they will again, I’m sure. Small price to pay for a free salmon dinner. Small price to pay for a Weird Date Night.

The “product” these organizers were pitching was their expertise in retirement planning. I slept through their presentation hour, but with my eyes politely open. When my head nodded in my dozing, I’m sure it just looked to everyone like I was agreeing with the presenters. I’ve been in so many unnecessary, dull work meetings in the course of my life that I am an expert in covert, eyes-open sleep-listening.

In the final analysis, Suzanne said the retirement seminar was actually quite helpful. She’s in charge of our retirement, so I’ll believe her. She’s the money maven.

The seminar was helpful to me too. I got a nap, and I got to put my cheesecake dessert in a Ruth’s Chris take-out bag, so I could go home and further gorge myself for free.

And Another Red Carpet Possibility

And then I saw this Mary Poppins-esque outfit! It even comes with its own Tie o’ the Day. I especially dig the Army boots. I can see them kickin’ bigly fashion butt at the Academy Awards. Julie Andrews won the Best Actress Oscar for her role as Mary Poppins, and I’m sure this kind of attire had something to do with that triumph. That’s what makes this get-up one of my Red Carpet options.

Physical Tie-rapy

Tie o’ the Day and I showed up at what I thought would be my last day at Physical Therapy, but I was wrong. I guess I will be attending one more week of shrugging, pointing my wood “wand,” and yanking on a bigly rubber band. I’ll just have to deal with it.

Tie was the cause of a minor commotion at PT. It was the first time I had worn a tie and not a bow tie to PT. Someone asked me a question about why the change, and then that turned into more questions about how the tie got so tiny. I explained it was a kid tie. The office assistant asked where she could buy some of the shrimpy critters for her kids, and I told her I got mine at Seagull Book. That prompted somebody else to stand all amazed and chime in to ask if I was LDS. Well, my answer to that question turned into a whole sprawling novel. And before I knew it, I had mentioned TIE O’ THE DAY.

Before I left PT, a few of the folks had already been on their phones, checking out the website for themselves. And when I got home to write a post, I noticed the website had grown by two more subscribers, from my day at PT. Apparently, I am a dynamic missionary.

Well, okay then.

She’s Just So Damn Adorable In Her Tie

The Skit and I have lounged around the house in our Ties o’ the Day, looking out the tall windows at the falling snow. And occasionally, Skitter has ventured out to color the snow yellow. She’s a vibrant abstract artist. And then the falling snow puts down another layer of canvas for her, and out she goes again to show off more of her artistic genius. I have never seen an artist work so brilliantly with only one color. You, go, Skitter van Dogh!

I love today’s photos, especially the one in which my eyes are closed. It doesn’t matter that it’s blurry. There is no misinterpretation of these pix. Despite Skitter’s skittishness about everything and everybody in the universe, she is no longer hesitant to put aside her fear, and love me enough to give me a stinky smooch. And the ties and I kinda like her, too.

Absolutely Nothin’ Again

I declared another Pajama Day for the house on this Sabbath. That’s two pj holidays in a row. I did nothing and thought about nothing, yet again today. Oh, wait. I had a brief nap. I walked up and down the stairs a number of times, half the time forgetting what I went upstairs for in the first place. But that was the extent of my action-packed day. In case you’re wondering, I did grace myself with fresh pj’s and a sweet Tie o’ the Day, which I knew you’d want to see. Ties are what TIE O’ THE DAY is truly all about anyway– except for when it’s about every other topic in my head.

I’ve Got Nothin’

Even though I said I wasn’t going to stay in my pajamas all day cuz I had errands to do, I did finally declare an official Pajama Day for myself. I went nowhere. Suzanne didn’t honor the holiday I declared, which is rare for her, but she had to go to JOANN. Of course. I did absolutely nothing with my day, and I didn’t think about anything either. Thus, I have no words of cleverness or wisdom to write in a post, so I won’t try. I’ll just continue to sit in the recliner, wearing two gorgeous Ties o’ the Day.