Because It Showed Up In The Mail

Tie o’ the Day helped me be kinda matchy as I dressed up in my version of black-tie attire for a night in the city of Salt. Yes, I wore my black-and-white harlequin cape. (Apparently, I also wore a creepy face.)

I don’t know if this happens where you live, but we often get impersonal, bulk mail invitations in the mailbox to attend retirement, investment, insurance, or time-share seminars. They lure you with a free meal. You show up, listen to their pitch, then you get your free food.

When we got one of these retirement seminar invitations recently, I said to my weird self, “Hey, this thing will qualify as a Weird Date Night.” I immediately made reservations. I told Suzanne to put WEIRD DATE on her calendar for that evening, and I didn’t tell her anything about what we would actually be doing. A few days before the event was scheduled to happen, I finally had to inform her of the particulars so she’d know how to dress, and she’d know to not chow down on anything bigly that day.

We’ve never done this type of Weird Date Night before, and we probably won’t do it again. It’s not right to show up to hear about something we have no interest in doing, and then eat for free. But we like new experiences– especially if they’re out of the ordinary. And if they include free food, that’s an enticing bonus.

This particular seminar was happening at Ruth’s Chris Steak House, so it was a no-brainer. I knew up front that part of signing up for this sales pitch meant the company would call us and email us to “follow-up” the next day, which they did. And they will again, I’m sure. Small price to pay for a free salmon dinner. Small price to pay for a Weird Date Night.

The “product” these organizers were pitching was their expertise in retirement planning. I slept through their presentation hour, but with my eyes politely open. When my head nodded in my dozing, I’m sure it just looked to everyone like I was agreeing with the presenters. I’ve been in so many unnecessary, dull work meetings in the course of my life that I am an expert in covert, eyes-open sleep-listening.

In the final analysis, Suzanne said the retirement seminar was actually quite helpful. She’s in charge of our retirement, so I’ll believe her. She’s the money maven.

The seminar was helpful to me too. I got a nap, and I got to put my cheesecake dessert in a Ruth’s Chris take-out bag, so I could go home and further gorge myself for free.

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