Category: Bow Ties

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My Excuse For Missing Last “Hairs Thursday”

My nephew, Bishop Travis, and his wife, Bishopette Collette, have been married 23 years. Their union overfloweth with blessings. But one blessing has never come to pass for them until this past week: a child. And then look who showed up, knocking her little BYU Cougar fists on their front door. Not only is she a dreamboat, she came into the world already knowing how to do her first bambino trick: she sneezes almost every time her diaper gets changed. She’s worth keeping just for that show-offy trick. TIE O’ THE DAY is pleased to introduce to our readers Grace Anne Blackwelder. (I adore that middle name.)

This is the only grandbaby for my Sister Who Wishes To Remain Nameless. She hogged Grace during our visit to Grace’s home. I was, however, allowed to hold the tiny darling while the new grandma went to the potty room. I timed it: I was allowed to hold Gracie for 1 minute and 9 seconds. That was longer than I realistically thought I’d get to cuddle her, so I felt lucky. I knew to not ask The Grandma if I could hold her again.

I’ve been alive long enough to know it’s downright hazardous to get between a newborn and a new grandma. Just remain calm; don’t touch the baby; and let grandma do her thing. Coo at the baby from a safe distance. Use binoculars from across the room if you want to examine the munchkin’s perfect toes. If you can remember these tips, your arms will most likely remain intact. Eventually, you’ll get your turn to hold the wee one. Or so they say.

BTW I chose to wear my fish taco Shirt o’ the Day and my popsicle Bow Tie o’ the Day to meet Grace for the first time, because I believe it’s never too early to teach kids about the finer things in life: things like Beethoven, Van Gogh, Meryl Streep, and fish tacos and popsicles. I did not introduce Grace to the captivating elegance of The Saddle Purse on our first visit. I thought that might overwhelm her just a bit much.

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Face The Facts

Here’s a snapshot of me last week, on Mother’s Day, eating alone on the patio at CURRENT. That was the day I won the award for Official Ass Of The World, because I’d had a tiff with Suzanne and then drove off to SLC to our Mother’s Day dinner without her. Yup, that day. Trust me, I was upset and contrite when I selfied this– even though I was also enjoying my halibut.

So this is a photo of just me and my old face and Bow Tie o’ the Mother’s Day. Remember, this whole tblog thing began with– and is centered around– the neckwear. My old, wrinkly face just happens to hover above whatever charming neckwear I sport at any given time. I might show up in almost every picture, but the ties and bow ties are the stars. They are the point of it all.

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A Purse With A Calling

My Socks o’ the Day herald Bow Ties o’ the Day. This is, as you’ll recall, my view from my TMS treatment chair. Bow-tied socks relax me. And The Saddle Purse does, as well.

My purse goes everywhere with me. It sees and does everything I see and do. It’s a saddle, and saddles are meant to travel. It is a true, new companion. I never forget I have it, and I am vigilant about its well-being. It’s like a toddler. I HAVE A TODDLER AGAIN! I let it be independent, but I keep it close, and I constantly keep my eye on it.

Yesterday, at my pain doc appointment, The Saddle Purse sat quietly in the exam room. Of course, Dr. Bow (my nickname for Dr. Bokat) noticed it, and I showed her its finer features. I am especially in purse-love with its tiny saddlebag. As I was leaving my appointment, Dr. Bow asked where I had purchased the purse. I told her I found it at SLC International Airport. I’m guessing she will probably buy the red version because she works at the U of U.

I have been a diligent bow tie/tie missionary for decades. Despite never owning a purse until I turned 55, the one I bought– after it called to me– has converted me to its mission. It is the one and only true purse upon the face of the earth. Apparently, I have now been called to be a saddle purse missionary– without even trying.

NOTE: The highlight of my pain doc appointment was not actually The Saddle Purse’s mesmerizing of Dr. Bow. Nope, the highlight for me was telling Dr. Bow I no longer need the amount of pain medication I’ve been taking. It is clear my pancreas surgery helped my pain situation so very much. It’s been almost a year since the operation, and I feel close to completely healed from the surgery itself.

I’m glad Suzanne made me have the surgery. And she really did FORCE me to be gutted. Seriously, she locked me out of the house and told me she wouldn’t let me back in until after I finally had the surgery I should have had years ago. Okay, maybe that’s a bit of an exaggeration. But not by much.

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Every Once In A While

Just to be daring, I do try to blend and match and dress in solid colors sometimes. It’s my idea of dangerous! Even a slim, diamond-point Bow Tie o’ the Day can’t make this plain outfit appear interesting. I looked like a walking solid color. A fashion blender and matcher, I am not. In fact, my solid-color shirt and bow tie made my eyes bored.

I stood in the cold outside the locked door at the TMS clinic for about ten minutes this morning. The clinic folks wouldn’t buzz me in for my treatment because they did not recognize me dressed thus. I finally got buzzed in when I held The Saddle Purse up to the security camera. My purse is apparently an official form of ID for me.

I hold no ill will toward my clinic people for keeping me locked outside for ten minutes: Heck, I did not recognize me either. Must. Have. My. Clash. Back.

FYI 29 TMS treatments down, 7 to go.

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Going Broke For A Good Cause

Suzanne and I recently attended a fundraising auction for Davis District public schools. The theme for the evening was Shoot for the Moon, so I made sure I was slightly theme-y by wearing my space/cosmos Shirt o’ the Evening.

This outing was a first for my goldfish-in-a-baggie earrings. But for me my fave part of any attire I don is the neckwear, of course. I am so proud of this Bow Tie o’ the Day, which was created in Greece with an old bicycle tire inner tube. Excellent details: the bike patch and the tire valve. Some bow ties come close to perfect in terms of creativity, cleverness, materials, and appearance. This one is so close to flawless, but it does have a drawback: It weighs as much as the proverbial albatross around the neck. I can only wear it for short blocks of time. Wearing it for an entire evening was stretching it. People enjoyed it though, and that makes the humpback I got from wearing the heavy masterpiece well worth it.

Anyhoo… We bid on a few items at the auction. I was into the silent auction, which was happening all evening online for the small items. I was able to bid online with my phone. I spent too much money, but I came away the winner of basically six good dates to experience. I scored tickets/gift cards to Tracy Aviary, Clark Planetarium, Ballet West, Sundance Resort Summer Theatre, The Cheesecake Factory, and for a couple of infrared massages. When I say I spent too much money, I’m not really griping about the actual amount of money I spent. I’m griping about the fact that public schools have to go to great lengths to do fundraisers, in order to survive in the first place. That ain’t right.

In one of these photos I’m looking over my shoulder, incredulous at Suzanne, whose hand was almost constantly jumping up into the air to bid on some of the bigly items at the live auction. Somehow Suzanne’s bigly bids got us 2 round-trip airplane tickets to anywhere in the US we want to go, and a new car for a year. Since this is an annual fundraising auction we attend, I plan to duct tape Suzanne’s hands to her chair next year.

BTW I feel kinda bad about not doing a HAIRS THURSDAY post yesterday, but I didn’t have time. I have what I’m sure you’ll agree was a terrific excuse: I got to spend my time visiting with and holding a four-day-old baby girl. You know darn well that was a superior choice to staying home for the purpose of creating a bad hairdo to post. Crazy hair v. four-day-old baby? Spending time with babies always trumps any other choice. You will get details about my new infant friend in a future post.

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A Re-post From Last May 15th: The Pre-historic Phones Had No Airplane Mode

Look at baby-me and the Bow Ties o’ the Day! Yes, those are bows on each sleeve, as well as one long bow on the front of my dress. Of course. Believe it or not, I really do have vivid memories of this photo being taken. At the time, I was busy making a phone call to my invisible friend, when I decided I’d rather text her. Do you have any idea how difficult it is to text, using a rotary phone? Well, I sure do. ðŸ“¸ â˜Ž

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A Sunny Day, I Hope

Got some swingin’ clash going on today. Bow Tie o’ the Day has already helped show off my outfit at my TMS treatment. (26 sessions down, 10 to go.)

It’s looking like an actual Spring day outside. Plenty of sun. A touch of warmth. I can wear my shorts– the style of which Suzanne and I have referred to since the 80’s as my “big, fat, ugly” shorts. I have a pair of pants like them too. Both are way too big for me, but they have lots of bigly pockets. They hold as much as a carry-on suitcase, I kid you not. That’s why I never needed to own a purse. I’ll do a post with my big, fat, ugly shorts/pants soon. I didn’t even think of it until I wrote this paragraph.

The hat I’m wearing in this snapshot is too girly for me, which means it’s Suzanne’s. I bought it for her last September when we were at the beach on Dauphin Island, AL. It is a humongous sunhat. It has the “wingspan” of a bald eagle. Just guess the most memorable thing about Suzanne’s hat on that trip. Yup, you’ve come up with the correct answer if you guessed the hat highlight was getting it onto the plane to come home. Did you hear me when I said it is a large hat? It is officially sombrero-size. The hat couldn’t go in a suitcase, and we already had the max of what we could carry onto the plane with us.

So Suzanne wore her hat onto the plane, where we hoped no airline person would tell us the hat was just one thing too many. When we walked down the plane’s aisle to our find our seats, that dang hat brim touched both sides of the plane. It nearly decapitated a number of passengers as Suzanne passed by. And then when we found our seats and sat down, the hat had to go somewhere during the flight. We tried to put it under the seat in front of me. It didn’t fit, of course. I kind of hovered my feet above it to hide it when the flight attendants walked by.

Suzanne and I made it home to Utah. The sunhat made it home with us, where it now lives in the closet with my gangster fedora, hogging half the closet. And the closet is a walk-in. Since the sunhat moved in, all of my hats (except for the fedora) had to move from the closet to The Tie Room. I’m so “glad” I bought Suzanne that hat.

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Grrrrrrrr!

In this morning’s post, I admitted I might be having some TMS side effects, cuz what I did yesterday does not resemble how I am, in the least. When I started writing TIE O’ THE DAY a couple of years ago, I said I would always be as honest as possible about my circus life– good and bad. And I’m here to tell you I embarrassed even my neckwear yesterday. Only Suzanne and I know first-hand I was a jerk, but still… I was wrong.

So….. yesterday afternoon Suzanne and I had a minuscule non-Mother’s-Day-related tiff about when to binge-watch IN PLAIN SIGHT and when to do serious napping before going to dinner. Yes, the set-to was that stoopid! But you know how it goes: One of you says a kinda not nice thing; and then the other person says a kinda not nice thing; and pretty soon you’re both swept up in a huge tornado of immaturity. (Do not pretend you haven’t done it too.) I blame the TMS, cuz I don’t want to blame myself.

Before I knew it, I was in my car alone, driving to SLC to the restaurant where I had earlier in the week made Mother’s Day dinner reservations for us.

I sat and ate dinner on the patio at CURRENT all by myself, crying in my halibut. (The halibut was excellent, BTW.) The whole time I was there I kept looking at the Find Friends app on my phone to see if Suzanne’s phone had left the house to come eat with me. Nope. She and her phone stayed home. I understood. Heck, even I didn’t want to be around me.

Thus, today I chose my world map Bow Tie o’ the Day as a way to express my current title of Official Ass Of The World. And I felt my offense yesterday was so childish and egregious that I also deserve to be awarded 1/2 of a trophy– to memorialize my Official Ass Of The World title.

This fine trophy is actually my 1980 Miss Liberty 1st Attendant trophy, whose top statue has long since broken off. I don’t know why this little treasure hasn’t been lost in my life’s moves. I have lost important documents and photos in almost every housing move I’ve made, but this broken trophy always finds its way to wherever I live, making itself at home. Perhaps it has stayed with me since 1980 just to fulfill its ultimate destiny as my Official Ass Of The World trophy, which I’m sure will stick around until the minute I die. I might as well get it re-engraved with my current title.

Stoopidist. Lovebird. Tiff. Ever!

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A Solid Color. Don’t Get Used To It.

Today I’m sporting a velvet, floppy butterfly Bow Tie o’ the Day. It’s blue and blue, as you can see. I do not own many neckwear items in solid colors. They have a tendency to be matchy, and you know how I feel about attire that matches. Solid colors make me feel like the Not-Me.

Speaking of “Not-Me,” I think I’m having some minor, but weird, side effects from my TMS treatments. Again, there’s nothing to worry about, and I have no proof it’s even related to the treatment anyway. But when Suzanne and I were at Walmart buying dog food on Saturday, I began to experience a jittery manic episode– the exact likes of which I have not felt before.(I know what you’re thinking. You’re thinking: “Doesn’t everybody feel manic when they walk into a Walmart?” Har, har, har.)

This particular soul-fidget was nowhere near the worst I’ve ever gone through. It was actually quite manageable, though even the smallest bout of mania is always a bit dangerous and scary. We came home, and I got through it. Suzanne spied on me wherever I went in the house for the rest of the day, to make sure I wasn’t going to do something crazy-headed like throw all my Sloggers in the garbage. (Minor mania means I do minor weird stuff. Bigly mania means… you don’t wanna know.) My car keys somehow disappeared from their key hook for the rest of the day, as well. Suzanne, too, moves in mysterious ways. I thank her for that.

Yesterday, Mother’s Day, I still couldn’t focus enough to write posts. And then I did a thing– which was really done by my Not-Me. It was a thing so unlike anything the “real me” would ever do. But y’all will have to wait until the next post to read about my transgression. I’m still trying to figure out how to write about “my bad” in such a way that I don’t end up looking like an ass– if that’s at all possible.

Being bipolar sucks.

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Mother’s Day Eve

Flowery Bow Tie o’ the Day and Suzanne and Skitter and I made a quick trek to Delta, to visit this old dame– the original Helen Wright– at Millard Care and Rehab for a few hours. Mom was in the highest of spirits, as is her usual demeanor. She has a zest for life which makes me tired sometimes. She goes and goes, and goes some more. She makes me need a nap. I love her!

Did I mention Mom loves Skitter? Did I mention Mom adores Suzanne? Did I mention Mom has finally learned to tolerate me? I’m an acquired taste.

Actually, Mom has always loved me far more than I deserve. But I’ll take it.