Author: wetleatherdog@gmail.com

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A Blast From A Rare Tie-less Day In The Past

Paisley Tie o’ the Day would’ve loved the chance to be clipped on to this shirt. If I remember accurately, this shirt was actually a bodysuit. (Geez, bodysuits made pottying a pain.) Check out the bigly collar. What a huge wingspan it has! Note my stunning shag haircut. And my uni-brow is present in its infancy. What I can’t figure out about this photo is why I wore a shirt which was a single color– on picture day, especially. No busy pattern of any kind. Not even a pocket in which to put a loud pocket square. It was 1973 and I was in Mrs. Nielson’s 3rd Grade class. I remember nothing about that school year, except my times tables. They come in handy sometimes, so I’m glad I remember them. I just can’t believe nothing else memorable happened to me during that grade. I don’t even think I was sent to the principal, which happened on an average of once per year. It was always because I felt compelled to make some necessary political point. For example, one year I protested for the Constitutional right to wear overalls. I didn’t understand why boys could wear them to school and girls couldn’t. If I had a reasonable point to make– and made a fuss respectfully– Dad and Mom backed me up. With the “overall incident,” Mom bought me two pairs of striped overalls to wear to school. But I guess I didn’t make any political statements in 3rd Grade. Maybe there was nothing to protest. Maybe I was resting up for 4th Grade, cuz that’s when my class made the bigly move all the way over to the south wing of the school– a world away from those pesky babies in 1st to 3rd grades. 👩‍🌾

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D. Stevens And The Delmart Didn’t Stock Bow Ties

I so wish I’d had patriotic Bow Tie o’ the Day for this school picture. It provides matchy, clashy fashion with the flag background. This was 1976, the year o’ the Bicentennial o’ the USA. I was in 6th Grade, in Mrs. Dalton’s class. What I find most alarming in this photo is my creeping uni-brow. Although the bad perm is not good either. To me, this pic is like the proverbial car wreck on the freeway: It’s horrible, but you can’t help being a looky-loo, and you’re almost disappointed if the wreck is just a minor fender bender. I am no minor fender bender here. Bow Tie sorta redeems this pic, but it can’t carry the full weight of making the photo viewable for more than a few seconds at a time. I suppose the photograph is endearing in a look-what-I-found-in-an-old-box way. In fact, as I write this, it’s growing on me a bit– mostly out of nostalgia. I won’t be framing it and hanging it in the house or even in the garage closet. However, this post ensures it’s on the internet now. It’s out there in cyber-bama and can never go away. Thus, the internet just got a smidgen weirder. 💇 💻

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Every Day Is X-mas For This Bow Tie

Christmas Bow Tie o’ the Day jumped out at me in The Tie Room this morning. I’m feeling a bit Christmas-y, but I have no idea why. I’ll just flow with it, and I might figure it out by the end of the day. I’m also feeling kinda pirate-like. Again, I don’t know why. Christmas’ generosity is sorta the opposite of pirates looting whatever they can find. We all have to balance our values constantly. Sometimes we need to focus on the idea of acting as a group, and sometimes we have to stand up and assert our individual rights and responsibilities. The point is this: We can’t live without contradicting values– and not just these two. Examine yourself for a day, and you will definitely see yourself shift back and forth between the values of the group, and the value of your individuality. You’ll make decisions based on your groups– such as your church, your family, your community. And you’ll make decisions that are best for little ol’ you. Sometimes– but not always– these values are in opposition, forcing you to choose which you think is more important in that instance. This isn’t hypocrisy. It’s finding the balance– even the dance– of living with other beings on the planet. 🎄 ☠️ Ok. My sermon is now done.

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The Wheels On The Car Go ‘Round and ‘Round

I honestly can’t figure out what kind of creature Bow Tie o’ the Day depicts. It might be a rabid feline of some sort, but I dunno. Please feel free to share your opinion about its identity. I didn’t order Bow Tie. It was sent to me by mistake. I had actually ordered a bow tie with paw prints on it. I got a mammal, at least. Anyhoo… I made it home safely from my first post-surgery drive– without crashing. I was not a danger to myself or others. I was definitely not a road hazard. To be fair, I gotta admit that I drove only four miles (and four miles back)– to Suzanne’s office to sit with her at lunch. She was panicky until she saw I made it there in one piece. My top speed? 40 mph, which is the speed limit between here and there. Even though it was a wussy trip, it’s nice to cross off one more recovery milestone on my list. Every task I get back to doing makes me feel like I certainly am improving, despite my fatigue. There is a flip-side to getting my physical self up to snuff: I will have to do increasingly more of my regular chores. It’s like I’m currently in a kind of chrysalis, in which I will ultimately transform into a beautiful housewife again. Thus, I must dust off my duster. And my mom’s 1960’s, red-and-white, DHS lunch lady apron awaits me in the pantry.  🏎 🦋

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It’s A Little Nipply In There

These two Bow Ties o’ the Day are cold-weather sports enthusiasts, and this is the best way I can indulge their frigid whims and needs. This photo shows you our freezer is bustin’ out with sugar-free Popsicles and some not-sugar-free ice cream. Just for me. I’m not a huge fan of Popsicles, but for some inexplicable reason, they have tasted fantabulous to me since surgery. I eat at least a dozen per day. Cold feels good in my layin’-around gut. Who am I to argue with my recovering belly? BTW I’m currently shivering with anticipation. Suzanne told me she’s allowing me to drive this afternoon. Finally. I’m guessing that what changed her mind was that she thinks I made her sound like an ogre in a post yesterday when I wrote about her overprotective attitude about me and my healing up properly. I’m glad she took it that way, I guess–cuz I now have permission to use my car keys. I know her conservative orders regarding my recovery are because she has my health in mind. She’s got no ogre-ness anywhere in her soul. I just know I better not wreck when I head out on my first drive– so I don’t have to spend a fortnight listening to her say, “See, it wasn’t time for you to drive yet. I told you so.” 👹

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I’d Rather Do Nothing Somewhere Else

Bow Tie o’ the Day ate brunch with us in SLC at PAGO. We sat on the patio and wished winter never shows up with its chilly temperatures that will prevent us from hangin’ outdoors. A month from tomorrow, we’re off on vacation to Dauphin Island, off the coast of Alabama. Suzanne wanted a beach, and I wanted a place that isn’t bigly touristy. We scheduled the trip before we knew I needed surgery. But I WILL be ready to vacation! The trip has sorta been my incentive to follow all my post-operation rules for healing up. Suzanne has been extra obsessive about my following the doctor’s orders. In fact, she has made up her own orders for my safe recovery behavior. For example, she won’t let me drive yet, and we’re past the time the doctor said I could. “Yo, Suzanne! It’s driving! It’s not rolling a pickle barrel up a mountain!” But hey, there’s a vacay light at the end of the tunnel. And if I still don’t have my normal stamina while we’re on vacation, what’s the worst that can happen? Oh dear me, I’ll have to just lie on the beach the whole time, do nothing more than sunbathe, and gander out at the ocean. Poor me. 😿 🏖

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You Can Wear Drawers

It must be Socks Week. Look what I found in my sock drawer: Bow Ties o’ the Day. Yes, I have another pair just like them. I’m wearing this pair to Sunday brunch today. It seems we’re starting a Sabbath brunch tradition, since my operation. And we haven’t been to the same restaurant twice, which is most likely going to be part of the routine. 🍽The thing about groovy socks is that few people get to see and appreciate them when you’re out and about. Long pants cover them up. It’s true that you can wear shorter socks with shorts, but they don’t show off the socks’ designs very well. Wearing long socks with shorts is the one look I won’t do. In fact, it’s probably the one fashion mistake that I won’t try to make work. FYI I want to point out that in this photo you can see how white my leg is. This is proof that I am, in fact, the whitest white person ever created. I’m one shade away from being albino. ☠️

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Loveseat Recliners And Bank Accounts

Floppy Bow Tie o’ the Day caps off my Clash Fashion statement to the outside world. Here we are at R. C. Willey on a reclining loveseat– which Suzanne bought me this morning, cuz she thinks I need to do a ton o’ reclining while I recover. Plus, I’m old and I creak. Getting older is bound to make me even creakier. Reclining in a comfy loveseat can surely help our creaks and pops calm down. Anyhoo… I feel it’s important to tell you that although we are making a bunch o’ bigly purchases right now, we are not rich. We are not Rockefeller’s. We’re just frugal, and we know how to patiently save. For example, Suzanne built up The Recliner Fund for two years. I write about our purchases, not to show off, but because it’s what we’re doing right now. On these posts, I write about my ties and my life. I hope I do it with a dab o’ wit. And I’m gonna tell you about whatever adventures I experience, whether you wanna hear about them or not. 🤡 🛋

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Blinded By The Blinds

Yesterday, Bow Tie o’ the Day and I couldn’t wake up enough to drag our butts out of bed–all day. But when Suzanne got home from work, she ordered us to wake up and proceed directly to Budget Blinds with her. Yup, she hasn’t let up on getting new blinds. She says we don’t need to get them right now if I don’t want to, but I know better than to listen to her talk about not wanting new blinds ASAP. I ain’t gonna make waves. So we picked out very not-budget blinds, and got a very not-budget estimate. 💸 💰 🙀 BTW You voted for me to grow out my hairs, and I’m doing as you commanded. And, as you can see, my hairs are currently in a hideously awkward stage. Gee, thanks, y’all. 👏🏻

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A Chip Off The Ol’ Block

Coloring book Neckwear o’ the Day was filled-in by the famous artist, Suzanne. She was so excited when she found this page in one of her coloring books. She knew it would rock my joy. Whenever she kept me company in the hospital, she pulled out her markers and coloring books. She colored for hours, cuz I wasn’t feeling very talky most of my stay. BTW How I play with words is rubbing off on Suzanne. This binder is her daily planner, which she named without any input from me. I guffaw at any writing with an “o'” in it instead of “of.” Writing “o'” instead o’ “of” saves so much time and printer toner, eh? 😂