Bow Tie o’ the Day is covered in splendid little elves. To heck with Elf on a Shelf: I’m wearing Elves on a Bow Tie. (And I’m wearing my wintry cape, which I intend to wear all winter– except when I’m wearing other capes.)
Way in the back of this photo, almost out of the frame, you can see the back of Suzanne’s head. She has literally turned her back on me. I am being shunned!
It started out innocently enough. We drove up to Nuttall’s in Layton to pick up Suzanne’s sewing machine, which had been there having a tune-up. If you don’t know Nuttall’s in Layton, all you need to know is that it’s like JOANN. It’s JOANN lite.
I did a stoopid thing at Nuttall’s. I’ve told you before that when Suzanne and I shop at fabric/craft stores, what that really means is this: We go into the store together, where I walk around for five minutes, then leave the store to go somewhere else. After a couple of hours, Suzanne texts me that she’s in the check-out line and ready to be fetched, and I drive back to retrieve her and her fabric booty. It ends up being a lovely shopping venture for both of us.
But yesterday at Nuttall’s, I decided I would be really nice and actually shop the rows of fabric right alongside Suzanne. We are chums, after all. After making it down one aisle of splendiferous bolts of fabric. Suzanne said, “I’m done.” She turned to leave. Well, see, I realized my mistake right away: I had spoken. I had pointed out fabric I thought was cape-worthy. I had committed the sin of distracting Suzanne while she was in a fabric store. I should have known better.
I knew Suzanne wanted to stay longer to gaze at the full bolts of material and think of the possible projects she could construct with each and every one. And I wanted her to do it because it makes her happy. I promised her I would act like I didn’t even know her and her tuned-up sewing machine. Off she went, back into the bowels o’ the bolts. And I wandered around trying to stay out of her peripheral vision.
I thought of driving somewhere else while she studied the material. I thought of going to the car to people-watch and listen to The Shins. But nope. I wanted Suzanne to see me roaming around the fabric store, lovingly ignoring her. I wanted her to see the reality of how she had cast me out.
I wandered over to the bigly-armed sewing/quilting machines, where I asked a Nuttall’s clerk very loud questions about their finer points. I looked at prices. I felt like I was looking at car prices. (That’s not an exaggeration.) I asked the clerk even more questions, very loudly.
Suddenly, Suzanne began to pay attention to me. I’m sure she was contemplating whether or not I was already thinking about making one of the machines a birthday present for her, even though her bday isn’t until July. I’m sure she was asking herself: Is one of these giant machines in my future? Of course not. We’d need to take all of the walls out of all the bedrooms to make room for one of these behemoths to live in the house with us. Maybe she wants a bigger house to put it in. (Not gonna happen.) But my interest in the machines got Suzanne’s attention. Bow Tie o’ the Day and my wintry cape and I were no longer shunned by Suzanne, and she came back to reality.
Suzanne found all the fabric she wanted, and now the Layton Nuttall’s is out of business until they get another shipment of material. I kid you not. When Suzanne was done loading up the car, it had become a lowrider.
HOLIDAY TIE TALLY: 101 Bow ties. 201 Neckties.
Not shunning, just shopping. 😁