I was resurrecting out of bed this morning, trying to decide what ties to wear for this photo. (Yes, TIE O’ THE DAY is always the first thing I think about when I wake up.) As I rubbed the sleep out of my eyes, it occurred to me that my new sleep hat looks like a plaid Santa hat– making it one of the hippest Santa hats ever. That’s how I decided to display Santa hats Bow Tie o’ the Day and three Santa hats Ties o’ the Day.
As I typed the paragraph above– where I mentioned rubbing the sleep out of my eyes– I was reminded of an old joke that for some reason I remember. Here it is: “Why do women rub their eyes first thing when they get out of bed in the morning? Because they don’t have balls to scratch.” (Excuse my language there if it bothered you, but it was the right word for the joke.)
Of all the jokes I’ve ever heard in my life, why is that joke one of the few I can always remember? And why is it that most of us have the hardest time remembering the “clean” jokes? Or maybe that’s just me. On the other hand, if you’re like that too, maybe I should just reply with another jokey thing: “You better get your head out of the gutter, so mine can roll by.” What a groaner.
As I finished typing the paragraph above, it came to me that we also tend to remember jokes and sayings with a high gross-factor. This is one of my fave grossly humorous sayings, which can apply to any arrogant person you can think of: “He thinks he’s hot snot on a silver platter. But he’s really a cold booger on a paper plate.” That’s yet another groaner. Or maybe it’s more accurate to say it’s “a gross-er.”
I’ve always been better at spouting improvisational humor than with telling jokes. I do the spontaneous humor that occurs organically out of a conversation I’m having, or out of a place I happen to be. Even when I write these posts, more often than not, I don’t have anything in mind when I open up my laptop. I just start writing and try to find an interesting and/or amusing way to tie (hahaha) the tie photos to what I’m writing. Sometimes the writing and the tie photo connect in an obvious way. Sometimes they link up by the skinniest of threads. Occasionally, I seriously have to stretchhhhh to find the connection between the photo and the words. When I have to do that big stretch, I consider that to be my calisthenics for the day.
HOLIDAY TIE TALLY: 6 bow ties. 8 neckties.