Day: May 11, 2021

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The Dog Days O’ May

A couple of times a year, Skitter and I get pet-hungry. We sit around on the deck with our popsicles, wondering if it’s time to add a little critter of some kind to the household. I think Skitter needs a kitten. I think she would do well with a baby feline who would curl up with her for naps and nighttime, but otherwise demand absolutely nothing from her. Cats are so good about living their own lives as independent royalty—so separate and above us peons who feed them, change their kitty litter, and keep them supplied with catnip. Cats don’t even pretend to care about anybody but themselves—even though we know they secretly tolerate us. Skitter needs a pet like that: a pet with no needs, except to curl up and snuggle for warmth.

Skitter is usually the one who brings up the possibility of adopting more exotic types of pets, like maybe a chimpanzee or a kangaroo. I suspect Skitter watches National Geographic animal shows when I’m not around, because today she asked if we could get a meerkat. I will give Skitter just about anything she asks for, but I don’t think Centerville is a place a meerkat wold want to live—even with us. We probably could have made that work in Delta, but we don’t own a tumbleweed ranch there anymore.

Skitter and I will talk about pet options for another day or so, and then we’ll move on to another subject. My Bow Tie o’ the Day and Shirt o’ the Day in this photo scream out the kind of pet I’m always angling for. I’m a card-carrying mutt gal. Skitter doesn’t know it yet, but that means she’s a mutt gal too.

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Skitter Called 9-1-1 In Her Tie

Skitter is capable of surprising us with a lot of odd skills. Honestly, dialing 9-1-1 isn’t one of them. I’m really the one who called 9-1-1 this morning—by accident somehow—three times. Seriously, after today, I am practically on a first-name basis with the 9-1-1 operators of Davis County.

It started out innocently enough when I played a game of solitaire on my iphone while waiting for my popcorn to finish popping in the microwave. (Yes, I had popcorn for breakfast again. So sue me.) When an ad came flying across my phone screen, the screen froze up. I touched every spot on the screen, but there was no budging the frozen ad, and there was no continuing the stoopid game. And my phone wouldn’t even turn off. I finally put it down, figuring the problem would resolve itself. I was sure I’d come back to my phone in a few minutes, and it would magically be healed. Nope.

Twenty minutes later, the screen remained frozen on the stoopid ad. I pressed the buttons to “power off” the phone, and a WHOOP, WHOOP, WHOOP came screaming out. The phone didn’t shut off. The screen was the same frozen ad, but a little green phone showed up in the corner of it. I touched it and answered. It was a 9-1-1 operator. “What’s your emergency?” I didn’t know what to say, so I told the truth. “I’m just trying to shut off my frozen-screened phone, and it started WHOOP-ing at me, and then you called me.” Boy, that sounded suspicious. I might as well have told them I was a technotard and couldn’t be trusted with anything more complicated than a stapler. This was especially true when I tried to shut off my phone two more times and the same scenario happened each time.

I still have no idea how it happened. All I know is that after the third 9-1-1 call to my new emergency friends, my screen finally wasn’t frozen anymore. And I could turn off my phone without WHOOP, WHOOP, WHOOP calling 9-1-1. I bet the operators miss me already. I can’t wait to see what other new experiences my day will offer.