Witty & Wise Ties, Trivia & Lies
Skitter was miffed when she realized we had once again been too busy (moving furniture around our one house) to post yesterday, so she got up early to slip into Tie o’ the Day. She is not like me at all: she is content with having this one tie in her tie closet. But it does go perfectly with her one outfit. 👔👗
Tie O’ The Day missed y’all yesterday, but we were packing our remaining household tchotchkes. Tonight, our relocation from Deltassippi to Centerville is done. (More on that, later.) Anyhoo…Church Bow Tie o’ the Day belongs to this young gentleman in St. George, photographed by my big bro, Ron. Ron doesn’t know the kid, but when he saw him at church today, he got the bow-tied boy to pose for a snapshot. And a young tie star is born!
Bow Tie o’ the Day was itching to step outside its comfort zone a bit, so I situated it like a regular tie. Bow Tie seems to be enjoying itself tremendously, just dangling freely through our day—as though it is rappelling down the side of a mountain. Or two. If you know what I mean. 😂 Let’s hope I don’t have any bow ties that want to be stripper tassels. ⛰ 👯
So I was cruisin’ west on I-80 in my dirty red truck, driving from C-ville to D-ville today. And OMGolly!!! My neck was naked! This was an emergency! And I briefly thought of calling 911. But I’m a somewhat reasonable gal, so I simply drew one on my neck. It had to be done, cuz what if I wrecked and had to go to the hospital—without a Tie o’ the Day? Forget that thing about wearing clean underwear: The tie’s the thing.🖊
Tie o’ the Day wanted to be worn as a scarf, and I was happy to accommodate. Those are woodies on Tie—loaded with beach toys. And I don’t care how silly eye-doctor sunglasses look: they are the most effective sunglasses made. Since I don’t mind looking silly, I’ll keep wearing ’em. P.S. My blurry photos must cease, so I’m purchasing a phone with a better camera. You really must see Ties o’ the Day clearly, to truly appreciate their fabulosity. 📱 📷
Tonight we took Suzanne’s parents to dinner. I chose my wardrobe to represent possible menu items, to help me decide what to order. Bow Tie o’ the Day gives a bit o’ leopard print action. 🐆 Shirt’s plastered with lobsters. And my Sloggers shoes scream cow flesh and dairy. 🐄 Eating snooty leopard loins? NEVER. What did I end up consuming? Nothing represented by my outfit. Spinach Mezzaluna pasta hit the spot. 🍽 🍝 And FYI: My in-laws are a hoot to hang with!
These Bow Ties o’ the Day are a little unclear on the concept of Solitaire—like how it’s supposed to be played solo. I’ve tried to teach them how to play Texas Hold ‘Em, but they are too pious to play anything that might resemble gambling. So they play group-itaire, I guess. 💸 💵 AFTERTHOUGHT: If I wanna do something I don’t want Suzanne to see me do, I can do it undetected right in front of her if she’s playing Solitaire on her phone. 📱 Don’t tell on me, please.
Tie o’ the Day was hellbent on playing hide-and-seek this morning. I gotta give Tie credit for an original idea for a hiding spot, but it was pretty easy to find Tie behind the floor lamp. A bolo could have made it work. Tie just needs to work out a bit to get rid of those hips, if it wants to hide behind this lamp successfully in the future. 🚴♀️ 🏊♀️
After our post this morning, Bulldogger Tie and I went shopping for new ties to join our family. But whoa!!! Behold, this near-empty tie rack! Three roomy rows on the rack, and less than a dozen ties present. The sight of it whomped the breath out of my and Bulldogger Tie’s tiny lungs. Saddest. Tie. O’. The. Day. Ever. 😱 😭 (But praise to the heavens, that we don’t know the guy in the photo who’s wearing near-nutter shorts.)
Tie o’ the Day is called a “bulldogger”. My sister-in-law, Eileen Howard, surprised me with this tie. I never knew a bulldogger tie existed, until she sent two of ’em to me. For some inexplicable reason, Bulldogger Tie made me want to look like a troll doll. Of course, I had to hang upside down to do it. Kinda made my head hurt. 🙃 P. S. “Bulldogging” is the name for steer wrestling.