Category: Ties

Got my hair slicked back like the gangsta that I am. Bow Tie o’ the Day is escorting me and Suzanne on an adventure to hang with Mom in Dixie for a week. We’re spelling off Ron and Marie, who deserve kudos and applause for providing Mom peace, and safety, and care. Bow Tie wears anchors covered in Christmas lights in honor of Mom, who has always been the happy anchor of our family. Get ready for the ties’ adventures with Mom down south. 🤶🏻 👵🏻 ☀️

At first glance, Tie o’ the Day appears to be covered in Santa hats. On closer inspection, it’s clearly festooned with the accoutrements required for playing beer pong. I double-checked the tie’s label, and it is definitely made to be a Christmas tie. I’m wearing my red-Solo-cup lapel pin with it. And what you can’t see in this pic are my red-Solo-cup cufflinks. Hint: the cufflinks resemble red Solo cups. 😜 My clash fashion scale for this outfit rates it at ONE PAISLEY AWAY FROM LEGENDARY! 🎅 🏓

See my tuckered out Bow Tie/Ties o’ the Day. We had a tossy-turny night, so we’re kidnapping mid-morning zzzzzz. Another tie running loose around the house must have snapped this photo. When I sleep, I dream about all the Ties o’ the Day. And I also wonder what they’re up to when I’m out of the house. Ties are like teenagers: they never tell you the truth, and they always have that guilty look. Especially when they do a chore without being nagged. 😴 🤷🏻‍♀️ 🤷‍♂️

Bow Tie o’ the Day shows its Santa-hatted skulls and crossbones. Skulls are groovy. Suzanne doesn’t wear skulls, except the one behind her face. Bow Tie and I are taking Suzanne X-mas shopping tonight. I got this jazzy idea to shop differently this season: I gave Suzanne my debit card and told her to shop for both of us. On Christmas, I will be surprised by my gifts AND hers. I can’t wait. And I hope she gives back my debit card. 💳 🎁 ☠️

Some already-posted Ties/Bow Ties o’ the Day wanted to say a fond g’bye for the year. Since they don’t have hands, they can’t wave BYE-BYE, so they formed this Christmas tree, topped off with a star. Their creation is lop-sided, but we tend to favor imperfect trees. They need homes too. If Ties hadn’t made this on the floor, we’d probably keep it in place and put presents around it. But it’s freaking out the mutts, cuz it’s something different on the floor. 👋

Ties and Bow Tie o’ the Day are glad to see the snow and the temperature come down, cuz that means we can wear our fedora wherever we go. You can’t wear a fedora during the summer. That would look weird. Oh, my! Did I just say you can’t wear something that might look weird? I apologize. Wash my mouth out with Ralphie’s soap! Weird fashion on, people! Without wearing something odd, I know I would cease to exist. I wear ties; therefore, I am. 🕵️‍♀️

Lobster Tie o’ the Day is hankering for spending Christmas and New Year’s at the beach in Rehoboth, Delaware. It’s chilly there this time of year, but it’s off-season, so the tourists are elsewhere. We had the run of the town. I’m a huge seafood lover, so we’d buy a paper grocery bag of soft-shell crabs and gorge ourselves. All along the Maryland shore, McDonald’s sold crab cakes and crab cake sandwiches. And there was a host of nudist beaches I’ll tell you about sometime. 🦀

Holiday Ties o’ the Day join me in a tippin’ o’ my hat to Dad. Sean Connery stole my dad’s look, you know. Or Dad and 007 were identical twins, separated at birth. When I took Dad on a tour of Washington D.C., he got asked for autographs time after time by those who were sure he was Mr. Connery. He gladly signed his moniker for his fans. Sometimes he’d sign Connery’s name, and sometimes he’d sign his own. His is more valuable to me. 💜

St. Ron, the Bee Man went to the big bee yard in the sky ten years ago, on this day. Tie o’ the Day pays tribute with its trophy bucks, which happen to be wearing bow ties. Bow Tie o’ the Day honors him with its Santa-hatted dogs. Dad told me once that he thought about becoming a History professor. I think he would have excelled in that career. I often saw him in his rocking chair reading volumes from our encyclopedia set. Decent man.

Bow Tie o’ the Day presents colored bulbs for Christmas string lights. And this coiffure is the best I can muster to imitate Edward Scissorhands’s hairstyle. In this photo, my hairdo looks more like a Scissorhands toupee. A decade ago my hair was long enough that I was able to chop it off and donate it to LOCKS OF LOVE, to make hair prostheses for financially disadvantaged children with medical hair loss. Rowan did the same. Good man, sweet child o’ mine. I’m proud o’ you.