Category: Ties

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New Year’s Partying In Mom’s Living Room

In 2007, Dad died during the Christmas season. The holidays were extra tough for Mom that year. If you knew Mom and Dad together, you know Dad was always playing jokes on her— always trying to get a rise out of her. She was wise to most of his shenanigans, but they had fun. That year, I wanted to come up with some holiday experience for Mom which was a little Dad-like in its surprise and levity.

It was New Year’s Eve, and Mom was sacked out for the night on our couch at my house in Delta. Mom’s house was uninhabited. I gathered a few props. Quietly, Suzanne and Rowan and I scampered across the yard and snuck in to Mom’s house.

If you were ever in Mom’s living room, you know she had a menagerie of decorative animals and porcelain dolls. She had created the dolls herself.

Anyhoo… With the props I had gathered, we arranged a New Year’s Eve party for Mom’s animals and dolls. Mom would come home in the morning to find what her naughty menagerie had been up to while ringing in the New Year without her.

Our efforts to jolly-up Mom were a success. Dad would’ve been proud. She loved the mess she discovered when she opened her front door. She didn’t want me cleaning up the raucous remains immediately. She wanted people to see it and laugh about it with her, so her living room stayed blitzed for all of New Year’s Day. She cleaned it up herself the next day, before I could get over to her house.

Mom showed up at my front door with a grocery bag full of “bad” party props. A couple of weeks later, she showed up with 1 single cigarette which had somehow been overlooked when she cleaned up the first time. It had apparently been stuck behind one of her doll’s ears in its wig.

Suzanne and Rowan and I are in agreement: BEST. NEW. YEAR’S. EVE. EVER!

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The Reason

Nativity Tie o’ the Day takes its place around the “Day of the Dead”-style nativity scene, which Suzanne got for me when we were in Taos, NM in October.

I’ve seen nativity scene figures made out of pipe cleaners, and out of Coke cans. I’ve seen them made out of Wrigley’s gum wrappers. I’ve seen them carved into stone, and I’ve seen one sketched into the sand on a beach in Delaware. My grandma glued little toy nativity figures into milkweed pods. I could go on, but I won’t. No matter what style of nativity scene speaks to your heart, the point is this: Don’t you dare forget what this jolly, holiday hullabaloo is supposed to be about.

Peace, friends.

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A Short Gangsta

Tie o’ the Day is spot-on for this post. I’m going to tell you about, Kavon, a drug dealer gangsta who occasionally showed up as a student in my class when I taught middle school in Baltimore. I don’t mean he sold a little pot and a few pills to the other middle schoolers. I mean, he was an upper-tier dealer.

Kavon was 16, and he was still in the 8th Grade. He dressed the same way every day: Tommy Hilfiger khakis; Timberland boots; and a NEW, pressed, white t-shirt. He wore gold bling: gold earrings; gold Rolex; and at least 3 herringbone gold chains around his neck at a time.

Kavon read well, and he was bright. He showed up in class just enough to barely pass. He told me he had better things to do with his time than sit in school, but his grandma was nagging him to “graduate” from the 8th Grade. He was determined to “walk across the stage” at the end of that year for his grandma to see, then school was over for him. When I asked him why he thought he didn’t need an education, he walked to the classroom window to show me something. “That’s mine,” he said as he pointed to a new creme-color Lexus with gold rims, parked at the foot of the stairs to the school entrance. It was the nicest car in miles. It was also in the best parking spot at the school.

I explained various ways getting an education might be a better long-term plan for him. I said, “Kavon, with your brain, you could be a doctor when you’re 25.” He didn’t skip a beat, and replied, “Ms. Wright, I’m not gonna live to be 25.” I told him that was exactly my point, but he couldn’t see it. That was one of the things that made me truly understand the lack of hope my students had, based simply on the neighborhood they were born into. By the neighborhood’s standards, Kavon was already the biggest man he would ever be. He was a success.

Kavon pointed out the window at his car again. “I bought my grandma a car for Christmas too— exactly like mine.” He was proud of himself. He told me he had paid cash for both cars.

I don’t know how, or if, things ended for Kavon in the 25 years since then. If I go by statistics, I’d have to say he probably went to prison a couple of times, and then got shot and killed during a drug deal, on a street corner by Booker T. Washington Middle School.

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Skitter’s Our Little Reindeer

In this photo, Skitter and I are modeling two versions of the same Tie o’ the Day theme: Christmas lights in reindeer antlers. Although she might appear to be, Skitter was not traumatized by posing in this photo with me. I promise. She’s always a good sport when I say to her, “Skitter, we need to do a TIE O’ THE DAY thing.” She doesn’t run away and hide or get extra-shaky when I get in TIE mode with her.

Six years ago this week, this little scaredy dog let our fam-damily adopt her. She’s a rescue dog, and she had been through a hellish puppyhood before we brought her into our home to be treated like the Queen o’ All Mutts. We are guessing she was about 1 when we got her, which makes her 7 now. We don’t know from what breed she hails. Our best guess is that she is part Chihuahua and part Whippet, so we say she is a Whippet-huahua. If you ever get the chance to watch her run, you will see all-out “Whippet woosh” in her speed.

I almost named her Bambi because she looked like a fawn when we first saw her at the rescue, especially when she curled up. But she was skittish to the core. Hence, her name had to be Skitter. I’ve written posts remarking that Skitter vibrates when she’s out in the world, and she honestly does. As time goes on, she vibrates at a lower level of vibration. Sometimes her vibration is invisible to anyone who isn’t me or Suzanne. I’ve been asked, “How can Skitter be happy if she’s always afraid of everything?” My reply: “Well, she only vibrates around people, places, things, and ideas. Other than that, she’s fearless.” Seriously, she is a happy dog. She knows she is loved and safe. She expresses a range of moods beyond fear. We do, however, realize her skittishness will never completely go away. Unfortunately, whatever abuse she suffered as a puppy is a part of who she is.

We think Skitter has adjusted relatively well. She loves to jump in the car when I say, “Let’s go for a ride,” but she shakes the entire time we drive anywhere— including to Delta. She loves visiting Mom. She hardly vibrates at all anymore when we spend time at Millard Care and Rehab. When Skitter’s sitting on Mom’s bed there, she doesn’t shake.

When we walk to the mailbox, Skitter doesn’t vibrate anymore, but she still keeps her tail between her legs. I’ve taught her how to howl when Suzanne gets home from work. Even though her own howling noises startle her, you can tell Skitter’s proud of herself for knowing how and when to do it.

I admire Skitter. She doesn’t let her fears keep her in her crate all day. Despite the abuse she suffered before we familied her, she’s still willing to trust that we’ve got her skinny canine back. She knows it’s a crazy world. She knows it can be a mean world. Still, she faces each day with oodles of hope and wonder. Sometimes I think she’s better at being a grown-up than I am.

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In A Pinch

SnHOman Tie o’ the Day is here with a bit of fashion accessory advice. If you find yourself at a Christmas party, and you realize you forgot to wear your holiday earrings, simply mosey up to the nearest decorated X-mas tree. “Borrow” a couple of ornaments, and VOILA!— you’re all set. In fact, I think I’ll start a fashion trend by doing this sort of thing on purpose. I suggest replacing the “borrowed” “jewelry” before exiting the party at the end of the evening. You don’t want to end up being escorted to jail in “bracelets” when the party’s over.

BTW You can never have enough leg lamp-themed trinkets.

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The Incredible Ho. Ho, Ho.

I’m full to the brim with the whole Christmas PEACE-LOVE-JOY spirit. In fact, about two seconds after I snapped this photo, I was hit with a jolt of goodwill to all which was so intense that my celebratory emotions physically overcame me— causing the seams of my clothing to burst apart and the fabric to rip. Meanwhile, my body turned an effervescent hue of X-mas green. To compose myself, I had to escape the clamoring Dick’s Market crowd, and so I ran home, red-faced, in my green body, tattered clothes, and massive spirit of love for all humanity— proudly waving my NIGHTMARE BEFORE CHRISTMAS Tie o’ the Day behind me.

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Must’ve Been A Bad, Bad Dream

Admit it. It’s happened to you too. Sometimes you just roll out of bed looking like this, and you and your Ties o’ the Day have no earthly idea what you did last night. My advice is to just start apologizing to anyone and everyone who might have been a witness, right from the get-go.

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There Is No Limit

Snowy, sweater-y Bow Tie o’ the Day is part of an ensemble which is representative of my clash fashion philosophy, in general: There can be no such thing as “too much” clash-action going on in the outfit you wear— especially during the Christmas/Hanukkah/Kwanzaa season. Joy to the world, my clothing won’t match! During the holiday season, one must dress like a succotash medley of holiday cultural icons, with a dollop of silly commercialism— while always remembering what is known as “the reason for the season.”