Category: Ties

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Sharpen Your Guesstimator

I’ve been working in The Tie Room today, and I realized I haven’t counted the necktie population for a couple of years. It’s Census time in the U.S. of A., and I believe my neckwear should be counted too. I’m starting with the neckties. I pulled the clothing rack out of The Tie Room and I have filled it with every necktie I can find, excluding the Christmas ties. (The 200 or so Christmas ties, as I’ve probably told you before, live among their own kind in a separate room. They’ll get counted another time.)

Anyhoo… While I busy myself with counting these non-holiday Ties o’ the Day, let’s have a contest. Whoever’s guesstimate comes closest to the correct necktie total will win a prize. The prize will most likely be the Pooping Dogs Puzzle which nobody wanted the first time I offered to give it away to the first person to dibs it. Please, someone win the puzzle, so I can make Suzanne happy by getting it out of the house.

Guesstimate Hint: The last time I counted the neckties, two years ago, they numbered over 700. There are exactly 31 hangers on the rack, but there is no set number of ties per hanger. Good luck on your guesses, boys and girls!

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OMHeck!

My face—behind my face mask—when I saw this Tie/Bow Tie o’ the Day Sharpie in the store yesterday. Must. Buy. Them. All.

FYI The face you see in the photo was performed by the always gleeful Gracie, and was caused by Bishop Travis’ proud-father choreography. I assume Bishopette Collette was in charge of snapping shots.

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Got Nose Crinkled?

After yesterday’s difficult post, I needed a few dollops of lightness and joy. After I posted, I went back to the Skitter/rubber chicken post photos of a couple of days ago—for a quick laugh. Then I checked out some pix o’ Gracie. Gracie’s smile is a perfect antidote to writing difficult posts. Her smile is also a remedy to pandemic stir craziness. Tie o’ the Day is pleased to present a cornucopia of some of Grace Anne Blackwelder’s squinty, nose-crinkled smiles. She puts her whole face into her joy. I, of course, see the resemblance we share in that regard.

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Pandemic, On Parade

The Saturday before Pandemic Easter, I was feeling like we should at least be in the vicinity of children celebrating the holiday. I texted Suzanne’s niece, asking if she thought her boys would get a kick out of us doing a one-float, drive-by parade on Easter afternoon. She was certain they would. In fact, when I crawled out of bed Easter morning, I got a text from her before I had both eyes open. Her text said, “First words out of Liam’s mouth today, ‘I’m so excited for my parade today!'” The pressure was on!

Skitter wore her pink halter top and her patriotic Tie o’ the Day, as well as her trademark cowboy hat. I wore my Tyvek duds and a Bow Tie o’ the Day, so I could be the Pandemic Easter Bunny. I broke out a dozen packages of marshmallow Peeps I bought on clearance last Easter, which I’ve been saving—cuz last year a brilliant idea came over me to decorate a vehicle with said Peeps for Easter weekend, just for the heck of it.

Suzanne and I attached the Peeps to our parade “float” as well as we could. It turns out that the old Peeps had dried out too much, and fresh Peeps are too gooey to cut. We had to practically rip open the Peeps to make them stickable. This was my first try at Peep-ing a vehicle, and I will admit that by the time we could get the Peeps to stay stuck on the car, they didn’t even resemble the Peeps they really were. The multitude of colors was purty, though. We had a parade to produce, so we went with what we had.

It was beautiful, but cold outside, so we didn’t stay at the boys’ yard long. The boys seemed to enjoy our confusing tiny parade. They got an Easter basket from Skitter, and their parents got an Easter egg filled with toilet paper. We got to see their family, but without hugs. Mission accomplished, but without hugs.

I’ll certainly do more Peep experimenting between now and next year, so I can improve the final “parade float” look. I will make my idea work. I am proud to report that most of the dismembered Peeps stuck to the car all the way home on I-15. Some of the Peep parts even stuck through two different car washes.

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Pandemic Easter Discovery

I was scrolling through my Pandemic Easter parade photos, and it dawned on me: Skitter is obviously a look-alike, pose-alike descendant of the infamous Rubber Chicken comedy prop—right down to the wearing o’ neckwear and the splaying o’ the toes. (Pandemic parade post and more photos just ahead, I promise.)

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Skitter’s Weird Easter Fear

Add plastic Easter eggs to Skitter’s List o’ Fears. The Pandemic Easter Bunny put two bigly eggs in one of Skitter’s beds, and The Skit was sore afraid. She immediately voted to social distance the eggs from her bed, although she was a bit more able to enjoy them once it was clear The Pandemic Easter Bunny had filled the eggs with rolls of toilet paper. (That’s what the Pandemic Bunny brought Suzanne.) Skitter relaxed just enough to put on her spring-y, plaid Easter Tie o’ the Day, as she nervously wondered exactly when I was going to finally remove the eggs—with this year’s coveted toilet paper treasure—from her personal space. When I extracted the plastic eggs from her little nest, she then got excited for the Easter parade we were scheduled to create later in the day. Yeah, that Easter story is next up.

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Teaching Basic Life Skills

In our little home school for quarantined neckwear, Skitter is my aide for all instruction. She is also our school’s mascot. The Skit wears many hats around here—literally and figuratively. Today, we’re learning about the bigly clock on the wall and how to tell time. Telling time is one of Skitter’s finely honed skills. Sort of. She knows 11 AM and 7 PM. She can tell those two times without even looking at the clock, because those are her chewy treat times. She knows those two times deep in her skinny bones, as well as her tummy. However, once when Skitter was helping me teach a lesson, I had to caution her about not flaunting her vast knowledge with our younger ties who do not yet know as many facts— nor as much about the ways of the world— as her mature canine brain does. Intimidating the young neckwear with her intellect would make Skitter a bully, and I will not allow bullies to run rampant on my watch. Skitter wasn’t aware she was being a meanie until I explained the concepts of pride and humility to her. She immediately shaped up, having no desire to be haughty and snotty to her lesser-educated tie pals. Seriously, I cannot abide liars or cheats or thieves, but there is an extra dank and craggy place in Hell for bullies—in my version of Hell, anyway.

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A Necktie Scamp

Tie o’ the Day descends the stairs, pretending to be a Slinky! Sing the old television ad song with me: “What walks down stairs, alone or in pairs, and makes a slinkity sound? A spring, a spring, a marvelous thing! Everyone knows it’s Slinky. It’s Slinky, it’s Slinky. For fun, it’s a wonderful toy! It’s Slinky, it’s Slinky! It’s fun for a girl or a boy!” Or for a tie, in TIE O’ THE DAY’s case. And now I sincerely apologize to you for getting the Slinky jingle stuck in your head.

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One Last (I Think) Mask

I didn’t post this pic with a bunch of others I posted when I was wearing this Tie o’ the Day a few days back. My “mask” here is a couple of foil, novelty bow ties. When I ran across this snapshot this morning, I realized this is how I would look if I were The Joker.

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Just For Me

In these COVID-19 days, I could wear this “couch potato” Tie o’ the Day every day, and it would be a fair representation of how most of my time is currently being spent. Suzanne, on the other hand, still works at her job in the dark, dank mines of public education. She just does it in a makeshift office which has taken over our living room.

I praise Suzanne all the time for gracefully putting up with my neckwear whims. Bow Ties in the refrigerator? She doesn’t bat an eye. Bow Ties drying in the bathtub—after their swim in Lake Washing Machine? I heard nary a peep from her about it.Of course, I normally create my little post scenes when Suzanne’s at work, so I don’t even risk bothering her. But now that she’s working at home, I can’t always keep my tblog photo preparations completely out of her purview. But she asks no questions, nor does she fuss.

Anyhoo… I was couch potato-ing last night, after having snapped and posted a few of my impromptu face “masks.” I think seeing me try to wear my shoe as a medical mask might have been the kicker for Suzanne, cuz she silently kicked into Sewing Gear. I, of course, was the beneficiary of her labors. Check out the real masks Suzanne made me for when I have to go out into the world.