Tie o’ the Day is a wood tie, created by a craftsman in Logan. He named this chevron design “Charlie Brown,” and I was lucky to get it when I did, because the style has been sold out for months, and the dude is probably not going to produce more of this style again.
The second photo here is the same tie, folded for storing when not in use. Wood neckties are fabulous, but most begin to feel a bit heavy to wear after a few hours at a time. I do not recommend wearing a wood necktie for an entire day at work. But wearing one for a dinner date or going to a performance of the symphony will go over smashingly. You probably shouldn’t wear a wood tie to a campfire where you plan to roast marshmallows and hot dogs though, unless you plan to use your tie for kindling.
In fact, you have to be cognizant of the fact that wearing a necktie can put you in peril, in a way that bow ties don’t. Oh, the neckties certainly don’t mean to be dangerous to their wearers, but they simply aren’t the most practical neckwear to wear in certain situations. I’m not just talking about situations like trying to keep your tie out of the paper shredder when you shred your secret spy documents. For example, don’t wear a necktie when you’re doing some downhill skiing. It’ll work its way out of your ski coat and fly up over your ski goggles, blinding you. Before you know it…. hello, tree! Hello, Sonny Bono.
Also, don’t wear a necktie if you’re going to be stirring together the spell ingredients you’re boiling in your witch’s cauldron. The bottom of your tie is bound to accidentally dip into the brew, and some living monstrosity in that goop will most certainly grab your tie and pull you in. Bubble, bubble, toil, and trouble. See ya!
There are circumstances in which neckties should be employed more often than they are. If you have a dog who loves to stick its head out the window of a moving car (or ride in the truck bed), for example, allow your dog to wear one of its neckties the next time you go for a Sunday drive. The dog will not only enjoy its usual wind-blown flapping ears and flapping lips, but it will be thrilled to have its very own necktie flapping right along with it. And your mutt’s blowing necktie will also indicate to others that your dog is respecting the Sabbath. Nice doggie.
Bow Ties are almost completely safe from possible necktie dangers. And I vehemently vouch for this next fact: Wearing a bow tie actually makes you safer than not wearing one. You see, bow ties have a cute-factor to them. I’ve told you before that bow ties are kinda charmingly disarming and tend to make people smile. If a mugger is smiling at your bow tie, you can be sure that criminal is gonna pass right by you and go mug somebody else. And if you accidentally cut off a car on the freeway, that driver who’s instantly developing road rage towards you will look at you, see the bow tie, and likely lose the rage. Instead of getting the middle finger, you might just get the peace sign.
More than that– bow ties give you an advantage in the world of finance. Need a bank loan? Wear a funny bow tie to your appointment with the antagonistic loan manager, and not only will you get the loan, even if your credit sucks– you’ll get a couple of thousand bucks more than you applied for. And the loan manager will make sure the money gets into your account on that very same day. You think I jest, but I do not. The power of the bow tie cannot be denied.
I mean no disrespect to neckties. I adore them as much as any neckwear to be found. A necktie is nifty as heck. But a bow tie is a superhero. All hail, to the bow tie!
