Author: wetleatherdog@gmail.com

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Pandemic Hair And Nostalgia

I got out my going-to-Miss-Tiffany’s-to-get-my-hairs-cut Tie o’ the Day this morning. However, when I called to alert Miss Tiffany I’d be showing up if she had time for me and my head hairs today, I was informed that she had the day off. Oh, well. I was okay with having to re-arrange how I had planned my day to play out, but I didn’t want my hairs-cuttin’ scissors tie to feel disappointed it wouldn’t get to be in this afternoon’s post, so I dug through a box to find some old hairs photos for Tie to pose with.

Here are front and back pix of me and Rowan from 2009, inside the front door of our house in Ogden. We happened to both be growing out our hairs at about the same time then. When we finally had our head hairs chopped off later that year, we donated our locks to make wigs for cancer patients.

Rowan’s teacher in 2009, at Hillcrest Elementary, was Mrs. Cameron. Rowan wasn’t much of a school terror that year, so I only met Mrs. Cameron once, in passing, at a school event. She seemed pleasant enough, and she was a tremendous influence on Rowan at the time. We heard plenty of Mrs. Cameron stories from Rowan around the dinner table—none of which I can remember now. Flash forward to last year at about this time. My sister, BT/Mercedes, sent me a heartbroken text about one of her long-time friends dying suddenly of pancreatic cancer. BT said the woman was smart, and kind, and generous right down to her toes. According to BT, her friend was a genuinely good-hearted being. BT said she had been a teacher in Ogden schools, and her name was Jeanne Cameron.

I did some fact-checking with Suzanne and realized Rowan’s incredible 6th Grade teacher and my sister’s incredible friend were one and the same person. You know how I am about connections and coincidences—and what we are supposed to learn from them. This woman was important in my sister’s life for decades, and this woman was a significant player in Rowan’s life for only one key year. It wasn’t until ten years after Rowan was done with 6th Grade—and Mrs. Cameron had just passed away—that BT and I accidentally stumbled upon the coincidence. Does this tiny connection mean something bigly and specific about the universe? Probably not. On the other hand, I think it is—at the very least—a reminder that we are likely the constant beneficiaries of the work of “strangers” who are connected to us in ways we will likely never know. That is yet another reason we should be civil to people, whether we know them or not.

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My Little Reader Mutt, My Partner In Tie Crime

Actually, this is Skitter’s way of cheese-ily “closing the book” on the holiday neckwear. If I’ve looked through the last couple of weeks of photos correctly, this is the absolutely very final Christmas tie o’ 2020 you will see on me or Skitter until next December. I think.

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A Pandemic Birthday Party In The Birthday Boy’s Garage

I posted last week that my very first brother-in-law, Kent, was turning the bigly 70-damn-5. Here are a few pix of our brief visit to give him our eternal regards for joining the family in 1967, and for staying in the family for the duration. From then, until now, Kent has always hit our funny bones with his up-beat brand of cleverosity. His wisdom shows up wrapped in humor, as well. And his heart is wide open.

On Kent’s birthday, we threw The Skit in the car and drove up to his and BT’s abode in Pleasant View, where a day-long drive-by of honking horns bleated their birthday wishes to our Kent. We actually stopped in to hang for a little while in their garage, which was set up with socializing at pandemically social distances in mind. The libation served to birthday revelers was sparkling cider in the grooviest teensy bottles. A bigly and tall heater spread the heat. The present we gave Kent was one of Mom’s old HELEN W license plates, in honor of him christening all of Mom’s cars with the same title of “the Helenmobile,” probably starting as far back as the 70’s. I will not lie: We stole a masked hug or two from Nuk and Mercedes before we left.

I wore my lighted turkey hat for the occasion, as well as a holiday Tie o’ the Day covered in portraits of polar bears, Santa, and snowmen. Skitter’s Tie o’ the Day is an authentic mystery, and we’re open to any guesses you might have as to what the “thing” on Skitter’s tie is supposed to be. It appears to have a sort of snowman head. It has what might be strings of lights wrapped around its Christmas tree-like “body.” I think it might be a dinosaur of some kind, or maybe Godzilla. It does have a tail. Is it holding a baby who’s wearing a black hat? Seriously, what is this creature? Is it an icon from some cult? Is it a mascot for an octuple-A baseball team nobody’s ever heard of? I feel like I’m missing the punchline to a joke. Whatever it is, I like it cuz Skitter likes it.

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Better Than Christmas Morning

Suzanne and I had some Christmas presents to deliver to Bishop Travis and Bishopette Collette—and Gracie, too—so we drove to Provo a few days after Christmas, when the season had settled down for everyone. We and our Face Masks o’ the Day were treated to an hour of good—though mildly muffled—conversation with Gracie’s parents, and a live performance of The Gracie Show.

Skitter visited the Blackwelder’s with us. It was the first time Skitter and Grace had met, and their encounter was a success. Gracie was enamored with the mutt, and Skitter was willing to let Amazing Grace shower her with up-close, pokey, hands-on attention that only a kid can give. Skitter basked in it. In fact, I didn’t ever see Skitter vibrate around Grace. Well, I guess that’s not quite true. Gracie has a slide in her room, on which she performed amusing tricks for us. Skitter begged me to let her go down the slide a few times to impress The Divine Miss Grace. Of course, I helped Skitter be brave to accomplish the scary feat. Let me tell you, Skitter vibrated all the way down the slide three times, much to Gracie’s delight.

Bishopette Collette later texted that Grace talked about Skitter long after we had gone home. When Skitter heard that, she asked me to teach her to wink. She wanted me to snap a photo of her winking to send to Gracie, and said photo is included here.

BTW Holiday Tie o’ the Day was a hit with Grace. I showed Gracie how to turn on the reindeer’s flashing red nose and Christmas music by pushing the fire flames on the tie. She pushed it as many times as you’d expect a toddler to push a button that turned on a flashing red light and Christmas music. The battery was dead by the time we left. I loved every minute of the visit.

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My New Year’s Eve Attire

I did dress up a tad formally for our pandemic New Year’s party at home—with no guests. But I walked around the house in my minimally formal finery for only as long as it took for me to snap this photo of me and my three holiday Bow Ties o’ the Last Day o’ 2020. The best thing about 2020 was being able to spend so many days in pajamas.

#wearthedangmask #masksareourlifesavingfriends #dontfearthedangmask #wearingamaskdoesnottakeawayyourcivilrights #wearingamaskhelpsusstayalivetoenjoyourcivilrights #wearingamaskhelpsthepeoplearoundyounotdiefromthecoronavirusyoumightbeinfectedwithwithoutevenknowingyouhaveit

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Holiday Posts Inventory

Drum roll, please!

Helen’s bigly Holiday Tie Tally: 209 Neckties. 93 Bow Ties. (In a few upcoming photos you will see me and Skitter in more holiday ties. They were snapped over the holidays, but I have already included the neckwear in this final tally.)

Helen’s Holiday Face Mask Tally: 9. (I didn’t make much of an investment in Christmas face masks, cuz I hope we won’t be needing them next X-mas season.)

Skitter’s Holiday Tie Tally: 25 Neckties. 1 Bow Tie.

Here’s the rest of what I utilized to bring y’all TIE O’ THE DAY’s jolly neckwear o’ 2020: 2 leg lamps. 3 Charlie Brown Christmas trees. 1 Old Man bobblehead. 1 Ralphie bobblehead. 5 festive jackets. 4 X-mas-themed, button-down shirts. 1 lighted antler headband. 1 Santa hat. 1 Bah Humbug hat. 1 Santa baseball cap. 1 lighted turkey hat. 1 pair of Grinch pajama bottoms. 3 pairs of obnoxious X-mas leggings. 1 ugly sweater. 3 “ugly sweater”-style, long-sleeved t-shirts. 1 gingerbread person t-shirt. 1 redneck elf t-shirt. 1, 3-D turkey necktie. 1 bow tie body thong. 1 red-nosed reindeer body thong. 1 blow-up Santa beard. AND most importantly, 2 milkweed pod, Nativity scene Christmas tree ornaments made by my grandma, Momo, at least 50 years ago.

Whew! This has been an exhausting blast!

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I’m Still Counting

I sincerely meant to post the final Holiday Tie Tally today, but it’s a no-go. First, I slept until noon, which I never do—except today, apparently. And then, real life things (as opposed to TIE O’ THE DAY things) that needed to be dealt with kept coming up. I’m sure you know how that goes. So anyhoo… It was Judy O’ Clock before I was able to even start gathering all the holiday neckwear and props together for their bigly, annual tie-family photo. Currently, I’m still staging snapshots, taking roll, folding, preparing the off-season storage for my neckwear friends, and making all the necessary calculations for the tally announcement. I’m aiming to post the final numbers tomorrow.

For now, though, please enjoy a photo of the one Christmas Bow Tie o’ The Day and the 12 Christmas Ties o’ the Day that I hadn’t yet worn for y’all this year. Also, enjoy a few close-ups of some of these last ties. Don’t miss the Ralphie bobblehead beside Bow Tie.

BTW I can’t simply add these numbers to the current tally and come up with the total sum of all ties, because there are still photos of me wearing festive neckwear during the holidays, which you have not yet seen. And I must add those to the total too.

Almost-the-Total Holiday Tie Tally: 207 Neckties. 89 Bow Ties.

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No, You Cannot Unsee It

Hey! Remember when an anonymous reader sent me this “formal” Bow-Tie-o’-the-Day-connected-to-the-thong thing two years ago? Well, if you don’t recall that event, you’ll surely never forget it now. I thought it would be a great New Year’s Eve party outfit—as long as I had another outfit under it.

Remember, my pals, to play safely tonight. Mask yourselves and drive sober. I want to have you around for many New Year’s Evenings to come. Be well. Peace to us all. 🍾☮️

BTW Stay tuned for the final Holiday Tie Tally tomorrow. You will indeed see the last o’ the holiday neckwear.

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We Interrupt The Holiday Tie-count…

The first brother-in-law I got, way back in 1967, is officially 75 today. Merry Birthday, Kent! Here he is, tie-ing one on. Tie-ing on at least 17 Ties o’ the Day, to be more precise. (That middle tie is made of wood, too. Cool, eh?)

Kent is a true gentleman whose quick wit never stops. As far as I can recall, he is the originator of the the term “the Helenmobile,” which we all used when referring to whatever car Mom drove at the time—long before she even had a personalized license plate. He is also the originator of the greeting, “How the Helen Wright are you?” which he always used whenever he called Mom to check on her over the years. She has never tired of hearing it, and he’s never gotten tired of saying it to her. Kent and Mom amuse each other to no end. Oh, and they have spent many a weekend watching golf on tv together. Don’t even try to get between Kent and Mom and their golf. Do not touch the remote.

Kent does not wear a cape, but he is a superhero. He is a school bus driver. Chauffeuring a herd o’ children to and from school, and on field trips, gives Kent a wide audience to which he can properly show off his humor and kind soul. Let me tell you—Kent is the dude you want driving your kid’s school bus. His bus is a safe place to be a kid, especially if you’re a shy or scared kid. Kent gets the jokes rolling and makes every kid feel comfortable and important. For example, this year one of the kids he drives is a kindergartener who initially bawled every day when he got on the bus. After a few days of Kent’s good-natured chatter, the kid settled into the routine. So the wheels on the bus went ’round and ’round for a while, and the kid was fine.

But one day, Kent had to drive for a field trip, so he didn’t drive his regular bus route with his regular kids. The next day, when Kent dropped off his usual kids at school, the principal informed him that the formerly-bawling-now-usually-settled-down kid had had a humongous meltdown when Kent wasn’t there to drive the bus the day before. Now, that alone would be a cute little anecdote about how much Kent’s bus kids love him. But Kent goes above and beyond, and refuses to let a story end like that. Kent now takes it upon himself to let both the kid and the principal know when he’s not going to be driving the bus—so neither scared child, nor flummoxed principal, will be caught off-guard by Kent’s absence. Did I mention that my brother-in-law, Kent, is a kind soul?

Let me quote Mom on the subject of Kent: “Oh, Kent takes such good care of Betty. He’s so good to her.” We are all in agreement about that, for sure. And we are all grateful to Kent that he cherishes BT so very much.

Top o’ the 75th Birthday to you, Nuk! 🎂🎈🎉🍿

#kentwearsthedangmaskwhenheissupposedto #merrybirthdaytonukorfloydorkentorwhateveraliashewears #eatyourdangcake