Witty & Wise Ties, Trivia & Lies
Tie o’ the Day has a couple of munchkin tie friends: Cufflinks o’ the Day. Three ties are absotively better than one, or even two. Wearing more than one tie at a time is like underlining AND italicizing the fact that you are a true tie aficionado. It’s clear what I’m into. If only I could somehow wear pages of poetry to show my adoration for magically written words. All my tattoos (except for my bee tat) are words, so I guess that sorta counts. 📃
Bow Ties o’ the Day are daredevils. The bow tie I was wearing when I took Vonnegut Grace Vibe through the Chevron car wash regaled the ties with tales of its adventurous ride through the hoses, sprayers, and brushes there. These two were entranced with the idea of taking the same breathtaking ride. Since I don’t wash Hombre, it will be a while before I return for another wash. Bow Ties couldn’t wait, so the scampy Tievel Kneivel’s took a watery dishwasher spin. Without getting wet.
Tie o’ the Day felt my “meh” today, so I wasn’t alone. I’ve got a sure-fire shake-up-the-funk thing I do to get me out of my blah. I drive my rode-hard ’98 Hombre west to find a washboard road. I crank up the music and barely creep along. Love me my truck. I hope I die before it dies. Shout out to Sahara Motors. Russ sold Hombre to me on a handshake in 2001, even though I was broke. Integrity pays. ‘Links tell me Hombre needs bikini-clad-women mudflaps.
Bow Tie o’ the Day showed up in the mail yesterday. I don’t even remember ordering it, but I’m pleased I did. Tie and I have a bigly task to complete over the next few days: deciding which neckwear to take on vacation. We’re flying to Monterey on Saturday, for a week o’ whatever-the-hell-we-want-to-do. Choosing ties is a tough decision. So many to choose from, so little space in the suitcase. Bow ties are least in the way while playing, but they get smooshed easily.
Bow Tie o’ the Day is well aware that ‘Links o’ the Day have their eyes on us, and on you. But we’re puzzled about something. It’s a HERD of cattle; a GAGGLE of geese; a MURDER of crows; a BAND of horses; etc… Just how do we correctly refer to a whole lotta neckwear? I propose these terms: A TANGLE of ties. A CROP of cravats. A BIB of ascots. An HOURGLASS of bow ties. A SKEIN of colonel string ties. A LARIAT of bolos. 🤔
The only thing better than a bow tie made of wood or a mustache made of whatever, is something that presents both icons on stage together. Bow Tie o’ the Day conquers that monumental task. It is a stupendously entertaining member of my collection. Hey, sorry you have to look up my nostrils, but this angle best showed off the old school, rotary phone Cufflinks o’ the Day. Note: Today, I picked up some zingy Rudolph ‘links for wearing with the ties o’ Christmas this year. 🦌 👔 🎄
Suzanne wanted chicken chowder crock potted. I threw in the ingredients and started it cooking, and double-checked the recipe. Everything was in the pot, including the half-and-half the recipe said not to add until the chowder is done. We might be eating chicken clabber instead of chicken chowder for dinner. I figured I should get some chore done right today, so I threw on Tie o’ the Day and have been organizing books and culling files. I ran out of paperclips and considered using my ‘Links. 🍲
Tie o’ the Day both clashes and matches Shirt o’ the Day. ‘Links are keeping us on the V-Day trail. Here’s a secret Suzanne will disown me for telling: One year, she forgot Valentine’s Day. And then the next month, she forgot my birthday. She wishes I’d forget those things happened. Suzanne is normally thoughtful, but she had been extremely busy at work. But still,….. She felt guilty down to the toes of her soul. So she bought me a car. Guilt is good! 😏 🚗
Together, Bow Tie o’ the Day and Tie o’ the Day are announcing that we’re watching Puppy Bowl XIV instead of Super Bowl LII. Bow Tie makes it clear we’re Seahawks fans, and Tie tells you we enjoy watching dogs and balls much more than we thrill on seeing the Patriots do any dang thing. Philly is the underdog, so we’ll root for them, even though we don’t care. My nephew, Travis, has been Philly-istic his entire life. He deserves to finally win a Super Bowl. 🏈 🏆
Tie o’ the Day and I know the only reason some of you read these posts is for updates about Mom. That’s a dandy reason. Mom’s uniform is here to update you. (She keeps keeps a nightgown at all her children’s houses, in case there’s a sleepover in the works.) After Mom spent last Monday at ER in Ogden with a horrible cough, she’s now in the hospital in St. George, where she says SH*T sometimes after she coughs. She shouldn’t say that in Marie’s presence. 🤒 😱