Witty & Wise Ties, Trivia & Lies
It’s just Bow Tie o’ the Day, Skitter, and me at home for the next week. The Tie Room is full of its residents too, but it’s not the same as having Suzanne with us. I took her to the airport, and now she’s off to Orlando for work. She will get home late Wednesday, only a few hours before my surgery. Bow Tie and I are incredibly sad because we will be freaking out for days about my upcoming operation, all by our lonely selves. 😱 🙀
Batman Bow Tie o’ the Day reflects my feeling that Mom is a royal superhero, deserving of her own comic book series. She even performs her superhero-ness without a cape or invisible airplane. The Porch at my Delta house was her private social club. It was as if she saved the world, from The Porch. Her glider was her throne at least twice per day, and she let you know what she thought about any topic– politics, religion, or whatever. Kindness was her main Porch topic and philosophy.
Neckwear o’ the Day loves Shakespeare plays, especially A MIDSUMMER NIGHT’S DREAM. Shauna Corry, Richard Jackson, and I were among DHS students who performed MIDSUMMER scenes, in 1979. I was Puck– a spritely, mischief-making soul. Fred Adams– DHS graduate, and founder of The Utah Shakespeare Festival– loaned us costumes for the production. The Puck costume he brought me was a loincloth. ONLY a loin cloth. We scrounged up wardrobe additions. I would’ve been fine with wearing just the loincloth if I’d been allowed to wear strategically placed neckwear. 😜
This post’s gotta be about socks, and I PROMISE this is true. While I was laundry-ing, a lightning bolt laundry event occurred. I was casually minding my own business–not committing sorcery or magic– while folding a batch of socks, and this is what I got: SIX– count ’em– SIX mateless socks. On occasion, we all end up with one, possibly two, lonely socks after we’ve retrieved a load from the dryer. But catching six of ’em at once is like performing a backwards miracle. SIX-PACK O’ THE DAY!
If you wanna have one more handlebar mustache than Bow Tie o’ the Day presents, do this. I’m not positive I can ride my bike with my face this low, but I’ll try. My neighbors will be intrigued, but not surprised, if they see me doing it. They’ll appreciate the weirdness, then say to themselves, “Well, I guess she’s doing a new, interesting thing.” Then they’ll go back to their tasks. To them, my schtick is like the mountains outside our windows: just part of the splendor-y landscape. ⛰
Myrt Gardner informed me June is National Dairy Month. She requested a tie post about it. I discovered I don’t own a tie covered in bovine-ness. I sent Suzanne to JOANN’s immediately, to buy some cow fabric. She’s promised to make me a cow tie for next June, so you’re seeing Tie o’ the Day o’ the Future. Here are my cow-print Sloggers, which are really garden shoes, but I wear a pair every day. I even have a chicken-print pair. And yes, I collect Sloggers too. 🐄 🥛 🧀
That night when you have insomnia so you put on Ascot o’ the Day and drive to Walmart for no reason because you don’t need a darn thing so you prowl the aisles to find something to amuse you and you begin to feel like you’re just a loitering transient wearing an ascot and then you’re in the infant section and you remember you need to buy a gift for a baby shower and you’re you so of course you decide to give Butt Paste. 👶 Yeah. That night.
Bow Tie o’ the Day traveled south on I-15 with us, chauffeuring Mom. We sashayed along, then we saw two mutts in a truck bed ahead. Their ears flapped. Their fur blew. Suddenly, doggie “afternoon delight” ensued. We hoped Mom didn’t see. And then…Big Helen capped off the scene with perfect wit. She said, “Well, those two dogs just can’t wait until they get home, can they?” Yup, that’s my mother. Even though her mind has begun to delete some things, she can still access her file titled WIT. 🤣
ALERT!!! Morbid, but funny anecdote ahead. Bow Tie o’ the Day was present when I told Suzanne that if I die during surgery, I apologize that we just spent $2,000 on my hearing device I will have had for only a month. You know from these posts that I find a joke everywhere. Life is difficult, and funniness helps. I do take serious things seriously. There are times when things get so heavy you have to scream. And there are times when a joke can lighten a burdensome fear. 🙀 🤣
Yup, Bow Tie o’ the Day was at STANZA last night. (This pic’s a copycat of last week’s photo here.) I dressed “black tie,” making it a formal affair. My hat’s zippy color added a touch of clash to my clashy-fashiony self. While driving to/from the restaurant, we sang along to The Lumineers’ CLEOPATRA cd, in its entirety. That’s my kind o’ opera! I’m thankful Suzanne forgives my hazmat singing voice. 🎼 Geez! When I really think about it, I’m thankful she forgives me for a lot of things. 😁 💿