Witty & Wise Ties, Trivia & Lies
Bow Tie o’ the Day has heard a handful of you ask to see how my 7-inch gut scar is healing. In the hospital it was snazzy, with its perfect closure and bling o’ staples. I’m pleased to report my healing scar is equally entrancing, but in a plain way. It kinda looks like a really big paper cut on my tummy. I think it’s interesting that you can still see where the staples stapled me back together. I’m proud my surgical wound is getting into bikini-worthy shape. 👙 😎 🤣
Let me explain Bow Tie o’ the Day. A number of you suggested things I could do while I’m bored with my recovery. Most were crafty things like crocheting. I appreciate all the suggestions, but even Suzanne will tell you that when I perform any kind of craft activity, I fail bigly. Inevitably, whatever I’m trying to create ends up unrecognizable, and it frightens people and Skitter. The worst thing is that people get hurt. My creations are somehow dangerous. Silly stick drawings are my only safe art. ✒
Post-it notes Bow Ties o’ the Day decorate my soda containers. I’m still not allowed to lift and carry my constant companion– 100 oz. Mini-Keg. Maybe in a month. When Suzanne had shopping adventures at the hospital gift shop, she bought me this much smaller cup to use until I’m back in shape to lug around my signature keg. She also bought me a pair of earrings, so I can girl up on occasion. Suzanne always thinks of me when she’s on her shopping sprees. A little bit. 😉
While I’ve been recovering, I’ve had time to dig around in old boxes o’ memorabilia. I’ve found a trove of old photos. And in this X-mas pic, I noticed Mom’s opening a present whose wrapping paper is covered in Bow Ties o’ the Day. I wish I knew what was inside. Could it have been some kind of tie thing? Probably not, but a girl can dream. This pic was snapped in the early 70’s, as evidenced by that orange carpet. And hey! Mom needs her hair did.
Bow Tie o’ the Day, my hand weights, and I want to say a thing or two about weight. During my stay at Huntsman, I dropped 10 pounds. But I call such weight “fake weight.” It’s the kind of lost weight that when you finally get home, it returns at the rate of lickety-split. I ate one Popsicle, a serving of applesauce, and 2 Altoids– and WHOOSH, 8 pounds was right back on my “old lady gut.” Surgery is an expensive and painful way to lose 10 pounds for only a week. 🍎 🍧 😾
Bow Tie o’ the Day checked out new flooring possibilities with us. The flooring must be worthy of touching The Ultimate SewingBox’s hallowed feet. This photo shows how Suzanne and I hunt for house things: she looks at samples, and I take selfies for tie posts. It works for us, cuz Suzanne’s The Decider. I, however, have VETO power if she chooses something hideous I can’t live with. She has good taste, so I’ve had to use my VETO power only a handful of times, since 1985. 🏬 🏡
I was bigly impressed with the Mr. Rogers documentary, WON’T YOU BE MY NEIGHBOR?, which I saw with Bishop Travis and Bishopette Collette. I wanted Suzanne to see it, so I got properly dressed in Bow Tie o’ the Day to take her to see the movie today. Even putting on Bow Tie exhausted me, and I had to have a quick nap before going. Everybody on the planet should watch this movie about kindness– especially those who are children or adults. Yup, that means you, too. 🚎
Bow Tie o’ the Day is my nappin’ buddy. I feel like I’m healing up incredibly well from my Huntsman Hanky Panky adventure. But I can’t seem to overcome this exhaustion. I know doing nothing is helping me heal, but I’m sorta useless. I’m not accomplishing a dang thing, and that’s not like me. I feel like I’m portraying a slow-moving character in a dreadfully boring movie. I want to play– if not my own character– a starring character who moves, rattles, and changes the planet. 🎥 🎞 📽
I’m kinda disappointed in Bow Tie o’ the Day. It looked good online, but it’s not right. It was supposed to be covered with butterflies. Instead, it’s covered with butterfly WINGS. Did Bow Tie’s manufacturer pull half the wings off the butterfly fabric with which Bow tie was created? I’m not prejudiced against imperfect bow ties, and I will most likely wear this. But this is an example of why I prefer oversized bow ties: the more neckwear fabric, the better the fabric’s print is displayed. 👁 🦋
Bow Tie o’ the Day is a spiky, 3D-printed bow tie. Here we are in SLC, at Finca– where we’ve never eaten before. I wanted my Sabbath get-outta-the-house trek to be Sunday brunch. We haven’t eaten out for weeks, so Suzanne was game. We like to try new places, and I chose Finca because the online menu listed a smoked trout omelet. And, oh, it was troutly yummiful. Suzanne drank a pomegranate mimosa, which I enjoyed smelling. Unfortunately for me, smelling does not give you a buzz. 🍹