Month: November 2022

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Sing With Me: These Are A Few Of My Favorite Truck Things

When I was ordering my truck in 2021, Suzanne piped up and said, “We’re ordering the heated seats!” I saw no reason to go the luxury route, but it was a must-have for her. I teased her while we waited, and waited, and waited for the truck to be built that waiting for Ford to get the parts for the heated seats was what was holding up the truck’s production for so long—and I’m still convinced it was. If she hadn’t wanted us to order the luxury package, I have no doubt my truck would have been here a couple of months after I ordered it, instead of the 10 long months it actually took to be built. Suffice it to say, Suzanne’s fave things about Abra are the heated seats and the heated steering wheel. I am learning to appreciate the fancy extra heat. As for me, the first time I drove the truck, I had no idea my seat heat was already turned on. Suddenly my butt was warming up. I felt as if I had accidentally peed my pants. It felt like when you have an MRI and the technician injects that contrast or whatever. They tell you it will make your whole body feel warm and might even make you feel like you’ve peed yourself. Yup, that’s how it felt. Wow! Just WOW!

Oddly, my fave thing about the truck so far is the little dial on the center console that I must turn in order to change gears. It’s just so funky. I also like that every person who has ridden in the back seats has commented on how spacious it feels. It seems I can please my backseat drivers without even trying, so maybe they’ll quit trying to tell me how to drive from back there. I also like that Abra gets nearly 30 miles per gallon, which is why I chose to wear my fuel pumps Tie o’ the Day for this selfie. Also, if I’m listening to music on my phone when I get in the truck, the music immediately and automatically switches over to Abra’s speakers. Yup, regarding my Maverick, I’m a spoiled and happy girl. Abra is a valued member of our family.

When I was driving us home last weekend, Suzanne told me that when no other cars are around, I drive as if I learned to drive out in the desert, with lots of space—which, of course, I did. She said I drive like a farmer. She says I make wide turns and I sort of mosey along, mostly in the right lane. I do not deny any of this. When no other cars are around, I tend to meander. But I do disagree with the farmer comparison. I corrected Suzanne: I drive like a beekeeper. Not that it is really all that different from driving like a farmer. But I am proud of my coverall-wearing, bee veil-hatted, apiarian agriculture way of driving. It is part of who I am. Call me a hick if you feel so inclined. I won’t take that as an insult. 🐝 🚜 ⛽️ 👩‍🌾

NOTE: Unbeknownst to me, even as I posted about our recently put-together banned books puzzle earlier this week, yesterday I saw an article in this week’s Millard County Chronicle Progress about a Millard School Board meeting where there was talk of banning certain books from the Delta High School library. I was disgusted. My next post will revisit the consequences of book banning. It is, believe it or not, a matter of life and death: kids can literally die when so-called “bad” books are made unavailable to them. And that is not an exaggeration. Stay tuned for a difficult fact or two, as well as some personal anecdotes I never planned to divulge. But it’s time for me to do my tiny part to help defend books.

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It’s A Girl!

Although my truck finally got to me during the first week in October, Oakley’s death made it impossible to celebrate its arrival—which I had eagerly awaited since I ordered it in November of 2021. After almost a year of gestation at the Ford plant, the truck I adored from afar just didn’t seem all that important. I knew that deep inside I was happy about it becoming officially mine, but I couldn’t muster up the happiness at the time. Losing Oakley was the only thing on my mind for weeks. I am only now beginning to feel the glee of getting a material thing I have wanted for the last couple of years. I have only two stickers on the truck so far. One is political. One honors Oakley, so her spirit rides with me wherever I drive.

What name did I decide on for the truck? I named her ABRA, as in abracadabra. It took a lot of magic to get her here. Abra is also the name of a minor character in one of my fave novels: John Steinbeck’s East of Eden. The name has stuck with me since I was 11 and I first read the book. I liked the name so much I thought if I ever had a daughter, I would probably name her Abra. The book’s larger theme is about good and evil, and how we always have the agency to choose which way we will live. We are the sum of our choices.

I wanted to order Abra vanity plates that said ABRA, but my experiences with ordering vanity plates in Utah told me there was no way “they” would approve it, because it has the potential to be read as A BRA, and that’s a scissor hop, skip, and a jump away from almost inducing bad thoughts in other driver’s minds. Seriously, to the DMV, ABRA would be considered almost pornographic and, therefore, dirty because naughty-minded people might read something into it. And we can’t have ABRA being mistaken for A BRA by innocent children, you know. So I didn’t even apply for a plate that said ABRA on it: it would have been a waste of time and effort. Instead, I legally transferred my BOWETRY plate from the Vibe we are selling. When I ordered BOWETRY a few years back, I had to explain to the DMV what it meant. I explained that it is a combination of my two obsessions: bow ties and poetry. Those folks at the DMV who are in charge of approving orders for vanity plates had no problems with my BOWETRY after my explanation. Abra seems pleased to be wearing the BOWETRY plate, too.

Without further ado, I introduce to you the gorgeous Blue Beauty of 2022 Mavericks—my Abra. Skitter and I decided our cowboy hats were a must for pix of us in the cow-named Maverick. Skitter is also wearing what she refers to as her official sheriff ‘s badge Tie o’ the Day. She has called it that since our good pal, Herschel Walker, once told Skitter that the stars on her tie looked like the honorary token sheriff’s badge he carries. My cowboy hat has a silver star right smack-dab in the middle of my hatband, so I’m a sheriff too. I chose my bolo-design Tie o’ the Day. Skitter and I are cowgirls in our bones. Or, at least, dang true rednecks. 🤠 🐶 🏇 🚙 🍩

TIE O’ THE DAY’s next post will cover Suzanne’s recent revelation about how I drive. She’s close to accurate, but not quite.

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Mr. Nuk’s Wild Ride

Finally! Nuk got his ride in my new truck. He’s a groovy bro-in-law. Of course BT/Mercedes—my oldest sister—and Suzanne rode with us as we snaked through the roads of Pleasant View and North Ogden. We even made a pilgrimage past the original Floyd’s house. (In case you don’t remember, Floyd was the most uninteresting professor I had during my time as a student at Weber State.) Before our ride, we had a lively chat and laugh fest. Nuk and BT/Mercedes are two of the best and funniest people I have ever known. I lived with them a couple of times when I was going to WSU, and I consider the time I spent in their house as absolute fun. I always felt safe and loved there, at a time in my life when I didn’t even know I most needed to feel safe and loved. You know—like anyone who is 17, I was young enough to know all the answers. I didn’t need anything or anybody: I was invincible. Nuk and BT/Mercedes loved me anyway. Now that I’m old enough to know none of the answers, they still love me. I am a lucky littlest sister.

Please note that the Bow Tie o’ the Day I chose to wear for our Maverick ride was one I rarely wear for hours at a time—because it’s very heavy. Bow Tie was crafted out of a bike tire inner tube. I especially like that it shows off its patch and its air stem.

Tune in later today for an official introduction to my new truck. You will even learn its name, and you’ll learn the story of why I couldn’t order a license plate with its name on it.

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At Least Read It First Before You Try To Ban It For Others

TIE O’ THE DAY is a bigly fan of books, as you already know. We are also a house that mellows out by doing puzzles—especially when it is cold outside. Winter is puzzle season. I recently heard about some books being pulled off public library and school library shelves. And so I combined books and puzzling by completing this puzzle depicting a few of the book covers from books that have been banned in certain communities—some in the past and some currently. From July 2021 to June 2022, , according to the PEN America’s Index of School Book Bans, 1,648 books were banned—including 317 picture books for pre-schoolers. In Utah, the school districts that ban the most books appear to be Washington County School District and Canyons School District. I don’t think that’s something for those districts to be proud of.

I hope nobody likes reading books that exploit, or outright lie, or are poorly written. And as much as I would like such books to not show up on shelves of any kind, I think shutting down access to these books for people who might be interested in them by banning them is wrong. It is an egregious affront to our valued right of free speech. But one of the bigliest problems I have with the banning of books has to do with my experiences with those who try to get a book banned: most of these people that I have dealt with have, in fact, not read the book they want to prevent others from reading. They have based their outrage on what somebody’s cousin’s horse trainer’s postal carrier’s uncle told them—and that person likely did not read the book in its entirety either. I am reminded of the early 2000’s when people would tell me The Koran should be banned in the United States. (Pundits on some TV networks said the same thing.) Every time I heard someone say that, I asked if they had read it. I offered to have a chat about their reasons for thinking it should be banned. Of course, not one of these people had ever read the book. The only reason they could articulate was that it must be an evil book since it “caused” the 9/11 fiasco. As one who has read it, I can tell you this: there is not one idea in The Koran that would lead any Muslim to come up with such a terrorist plot. The message of The Koran is against everything that happened on that bloody day. The beautifully written holy book did not “cause” 9/11. Extremists who didn’t understand that The Koran is a book of peace were the fools who did all the damage.

I am proud to have read most of the “evil” books shown in the puzzle. The three stacks of books I’m posing by are just a few of the banned books I have in my own library. I am re-reading some of them to see if I can figure out more reasons someone would want to ban them in the first place. The top book in the middle stack is John Steinbeck’s East of Eden. And the top book on the stack closest to me is Alcoholics Anonymous—the so-called Big Book of AA. It has been banned merely because its subject has to do with drinking—more specifically, not drinking. As if that’s a bad thing. Go figure.

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Election Day 2022: I’m Glad We’re Almost Done With It

When I was a kid, I used to play board games with some older kids in the neighborhood. As the youngest kid by a few years, I was usually the first one to lose at Monopoly. It was like that for what seemed to me like decades, but it was probably for only one or two summers. For me, the neighborhood board games ended when—for the first time ever—I won at Monopoly. My astonished glee at finally winning the game came to an abrupt end, when a certain little boy who didn’t win started to cry and called me a cheater. Plus, I was a girl cheater, too! And a little girl couldn’t possibly beat all the boys at Monopoly! This new winning stuff was no fun for me at all. I wanted to go back to losing and having an uncontested ball. Heck, I was so young that I didn’t even know how to cheat successfully—especially with a handful of snot-nosed neighbor boys right beside me in the room, playing and watching every move of the game unfold. I think it was my Sister Who Wishes To Remain Nameless who clued me in later that day about the fragile egos of sore losers who think they always deserve to be the winner, especially when you clearly beat them. I remember thinking I better be sure to play and win at board games with whoever I dated when I grew up, so I could make sure I didn’t marry a sore loser. I can testify that what I refer to as The Board-Game-Always-Unmasks-A-Sore-Loser Test really works.

With this childhood anecdote in mind, patriotic Tie o’ the Day and I will make one, two-part prediction before the polls close on this Election Day: A few Republican candidates who lose their races tonight will claim they lost because of voter fraud/stolen election crapola, which will fail to explain how other Republican candidates who did win their races, won fairly. On the other hand, zero Democrats who lose their races will whine about a stolen election. Regarding all candidates and voters in any contested race, I have a thought for us all to gnaw on: If you accept the results of an election only when your chosen “team” wins, you are saying you do not believe in or cherish the democracy our Constitutional Republic makes possible for all of its citizens. Just sayin.’

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And A Good Time Was Had By All—Meaning Me

A few weeks ago I donned my red-white-and-blue paisley, painted, wood Bow Tie o’ the Day for a foray to the movies. I had been looking forward to seeing Viola Davis’ latest acting offering, called THE WOMAN KING—about a woman general who trains a group of all-female warriors called the Agojie to protect their West African kingdom of Dahomey in the 1820’s. I had looked forward to seeing the film, despite the fact that I am not generally a big fan of war/combat/fightin’ flicks. I am, however, a huge fan of Viola Davis’ acting prowess. I knew I’d see brilliant acting in the movie, but I was pleasantly surprised at how captivated I was by the film’s hand-to-hand combat scenes. The fighting was realistic, but without the exploitive blood and gore that usually gets thrown at the audience in movie war scenes. The combat scenes in THE WOMAN KING were gorgeously choreographed, while still graphic and intense. The combat was actually as beautiful as it was raw. Sadly, I was the only person in the theater for that particular showing. That’s how it is sometimes: the better the movie, the smaller the audience. I feel bad that so many people miss out on some of the finest work out there. 📽 🎞 🎥

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I Am Responsible For The Death Of Many Trees

Purple-and-blue Tie o’ the Day is one of my fave neckties. I don’t know why. It just is. I was wearing it last week when I decided to take a complete inventory of all my filled notebooks and journals. The final count? What you see here are 307 notebooks full of what goes on in my head. These writings are the sum of my notes, drafts of poems, story ideas, and other miscellany that I have scribbled in notebooks for the past 15 years. Except for TIE O’ THE DAY posts, I do not compose at a keyboard. I print wildly and illegibly on the pages of bound notebooks, for the most part. When I have gussied up a piece of writing into something that works, I then type it on the computer, before submitting it for publication.

As you can see from these photos, I am not a fan of spiral bindings, but I do make exceptions for spiral-bound notebooks that call out to me for some extra-peculiar reason—like my three, spiral-bound Joe Kenda: Homicide Hunter notebooks. I couldn’t pass those up. You’ll notice I fill up all sizes of notebooks. The smallest one you see on the table is about the size of a 50-cent piece. My preferred notebooks are the bound Moleskine brand, specifically the now-discontinued “Chapters” style. Fortunately, I can still find “Chapters” for sale on Amazon occasionally. Although I have storage bins filled with blank notebooks I haven’t yet written in, I think I should begin to pull back on writing new things. As I’m approaching my 60’s, I think it’s time to cull my already-written-in notebooks and concentrate more on arranging my ideas and drafts into completed pieces. Otherwise, when I die, my legacy will be mostly notebooks of illegible writings which will make sense to no one. For the next 15 years, I need to edit and polish and finish all the work I’ve already started. I think I’m done with first drafts.

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The Chia Election Update

Even Bow Tie o’ the Day can see it’s still a toss-up in regard to which of the two major political parties will come out on top in tomorrow’s election. Our very own Chia busts, Mitt and Barry, are sprouting robustly on the sides and in back of their pottery noggins—representing their respective political parties well. However, both Mitt and Barry are sprouting poorly directly on top. What does all this Chia growth predict for the 2022 election outcomes? I’m thinking that it’s a safe bet neither party is gonna run away with all the spoils, which is always a good thing.