Tie o' the Day

Loud Tie o’ the Day is doing a pretty good job of seeing me through what I consider to be a traumatic whirlwind o’ recent bow tie change. I know this bow tie business move isn’t traumatic to anyone else, but to me and my gaggle of bow ties, it’s a bigly deal: Beau Ties Ltd. of Vermont, the company that is my biggest and most favoritest maker o’ handmade bow ties, has been sold! New owner. Newly renovated website. No more t-shirts, pint glasses, coffee mugs, hats, Christmas ornaments, or other do-dads covered in bow ties for sale! It’s making me dizzy to think that the Beau Ties Ltd. of Vermont water bottle I have will now have to last me the entire rest of my life. That’s a scary thought. How much should I insure my Beau Ties water bottle for in case it gets damaged, stolen, or lost– even though it can’t be replaced? That precious light blue, bow tie-emblazoned water bottle just got bigly more valuable to my heart.

I am a bit offended Beau Ties Ltd. of Vermont didn’t consult me and my TIE O’ THE DAY operation before selling the biz. I mean– they sort of know me. When I first discovered them about four years ago, I ordered some “butterfly jumbo” style bow ties from their factory. I liked the style so well that I didn’t order any other style for my first few purchases. A few months into my online customer-hood with them, I ordered a bow tie made in a “slimline standard” style. A few hours after I hit the return key and sent that order, one of the good folks at Beau Ties gave me a call. A few of them remembered I had never ordered a “slimline standard” style of bow tie before, and they were calling me to make sure I hadn’t ordered the “slimline standard” by mistake. They knew me and my orders almost from the start. By now, they know I order all the styles they offer. The sad thing about them knowing my neckwear likes and dislikes, though, is that we don’t have a need to chat on the phone anymore. But still… They could have checked in with me before selling the company.

It’ll probably be just fine. The company’s name remains the same. The Beau Ties seamstresses remain the same. The bow ties will still be handmade. But I guess I won’t be able to order any more Beau Ties Ltd. of Vermont t-shirts and mugs. I do hope the new owner decides to offer those kinds of things again. I like to order bow tie stuff I don’t need. How else am I gonna clutter-up the house?

I am not against change. I am against that period of time you have to go through between the moment you find out the change happened and that moment when you finally know exactly what the change is really going to mean for you. And by “you,” I mean “me.” How is the change going to affect me, me, me? And I don’t think I’m the only “me” who feels that way about change.

The TUMS were necessary. The whole event made me queasy. And the red, white, and blue TUMS were appropriate to the situation because they help me make my patriotic point.

Lavender hanky Bow Tie o’ the Day warned me, so it was my own damn fault. I went against my own recent “rule.” A few years ago, I decided it was best for my own happiness to not “talk politics” on social media. I don’t make a judgment about those of you who choose to talk politics on social media. If it’s your thing, keep doing your thing. In fact, I’m glad when anyone feels they have a responsibility to participate in the political life of our country. I wish more people would feel it is one of their responsibilities as a citizen to actually be a responsible citizen and to participate. We need to speak out, but we also need to actually do something.

Anyhoo… I lost my mind for a moment recently, and I began to read snippets of a political Facebook post and its comments, which had been accumulating for a couple of hours before my reading eyeballs came along. I then commented a correction to a “fact” which was in the post, which immediately eliminated the need for any of the political argument to continue. (Fortunately, these people accepted a fact for a fact.) Checking the veracity of that one, major fact would have kept the person who wrote the post from feeling the need to write and post it in the first place. And the dozen people who spent two hours becoming angry with each other about the politics they were arguing– well, they would have been able to spend that time more productively and more happily doing anything else. During said online conversation, participants were called vulgar names (including me); profanity was used (even at me); people were falsely accused of being traitors (as was I); more inaccurate “facts” were treated like God’s word. It made me sick to my stomach.

Rhetoric like that is why I made my no-politics-talk-online rule. Some people post things that have very little to do with the actual topic they are discussing and more to do with tearing down others for concluding something different than they themselves believe. That is not “discussing politics.” That is cultivating incivility, anger, and fear. Unfortunately, this is what most of the “political discussion” you can find in any media is like. And I must add that most of what you hear politics-wise in coffee shops, bars, the check-out line, and in living rooms is far too similar to the sketchy yelling and mocking you read and hear online. It’s not well-informed, and it’s not civil. I try to extricate myself from those kinds of conversations.

But I dig history and politics. I dig having conversations with people who see issues very differently than I do. I also believe it’s my duty as a citizen to participate in the workings of our relatively young country. I believe it’s my duty to spend time getting my facts straight, making sure what I have to say is logical, and then presenting my thoughts in a civil manner– even when arguing against something. Civility means you treat people in such a way that shows you don’t think you’re better than everyone who might disagree with you.

When I first made my rule, I couldn’t think of any situation where I could talk politics in civility at this time. Seriously. But I thought about how important it is to me to participate in real political discussion, and I thought about how much I’ve enjoyed these conversations my whole life. I have learned from those conversations. I have grown to respect people’s thoughts and ideas, even as they were world’s away from mine. I have learned to see how and why they came to their understanding of the issue. And they have learned from my thinking. If we hadn’t been friends before a “nice” discussion, we were friends after it. We could work together at that point.

I like to talk politics. I’ll continue to be fascinated by it. I’ll continue to be a responsible citizen, educate myself, and participate in the political process. But I won’t touch politics on social media. And I won’t discuss it in groups. I will sit with you, one-on-one, so we can look each other in the eyes and have a civil conversation about the current state of the US of A. I’ll even make you Rice Krispie treats if you want.