Tie o' the Day

This dear deer Bow Tie o’ the Day is also a nod to Rob, who in his younger years managed to grow some of the scraggliest Deer Hunt Beards I have ever seen. He could down a trophy buck, but he could not grow a trophy beard.The early morning Rob passed away, it was my niece, Steph who called to give me the news. She asked if I’d inform my three other siblings that Rob was gone. We all have cellphones, so even though it was quite early, I was confident I’d easily get through to the people I most needed to talk to at that tragic moment. I’m the baby of the family and one of my siblings was now gone—and I felt like I needed to talk to my remaining brother and sisters with an urgency I hadn’t felt before. I needed the connection to them RIGHT NOW. I called Anne first, because—living in Delta—she was literally the closest of us to Mary and the entire situation. I got no answer. I called Ron. I got no answer. I called BT/Mercedes. Again, I got no answer. I left messages for each of them to call me ASAP. Three calls, three strikes. I had struck out. I texted them. I kept calling them over and over until I got them. I really did feel like an orphan and it was lonely. I do recall ranting loudly around the house at all three of my siblings about how it it was ridiculous that we all have mobile phones and I still couldn’t get in touch with even one of them in an emergency! For the next hour or so until they had each finally returned my calls, I chewed them and their smartphones out bigly—in my head and out loud. I could focus my sad anger on phone technology and my remaining siblings not getting back to me. It’s not like I could chew out Rob at that very moment. I have, however, read him the riot act in many moments since that day. Grief is a fickle thing. It sneaks up on you and makes you feel all the feelings you least want to feel. Working through those difficult and complex feelings is what you have to do, though, in order to get up every morning and create the rest of your meaningful life—for yourself and those folks who love you.

My niece, Steph, managed to find this photo of me and her dad, which she took about 20 years ago at a family get-together at their house. I didn’t know it existed until now. The snapshot of Rob and me made it onto this photo arrangement Steph created for display at his service.The night before Rob died, I happened to buy this puzzle for Suzanne’s and my next project. It is uncharacteristic of the kind of puzzles I bring home. It’s not the brand I like. It’s not full of the bright colors I like, and I don’t think hunting has ever been a theme of any puzzle I’ve ever owned. But for some reason, it caught my eye that evening. A few hours later, my brother—the hunter—was gone to the bigly hunt in the sky. The coyote tie next to the puzzle box is the Tie o’ the Day I wore to his service. He would have liked it—even though he was vehemently not a tie guy. As for the puzzle itself, I was too upset to put it together. After connecting a few puzzle pieces, I had to stop. I let Suzanne take over the assemblage. It needed to be done, gazed upon, then put away for good.😢

You’ve heard the saying many times: “You can tell a lot about a person by their shoes.” In my case, it’s especially true today. I paired up my paisley wood Bow Tie o’ the Day with a pair of my clown shoes! Clowns R Me! The shoes cost me a total of $6, including shipping. I remember the day a few weeks back when they were delivered to my front door. I said with overwhelming glee, “Suzanne, my checkered clown shoes are here!” I began to hyperventilate when I first touched them. I modeled them around the house for Suzanne to behold for an hour or three, making sure she took time to pay proper attention to them every time I walked anywhere near her. She was quietly amused because she’s used to being in my vicinity when I unveil my daily experimental and sometimes off-kilter fashion concoctions. Of course, she had no idea I had ordered more clown shoes. So it was even more of a surprise to her when I said I had ordered a different pair of clown shoes as well, which I hoped would show up the next day. Here’s a fashion hint, regarding the wearin’ o’ the clown shoes: Beware if you’re wearing your clown shoes in hoity-toity neighborhoods, because the highfalutin’ citizens there will likely be askeered somehow. They’ll call the cops when they see you flaunting your fun shoes to the world. Some people just don’t recognize what happiness looks like. 🤡

A wee orange-with-white-polka-dots Bow Tie o’ the Day would like to remind y’all that it is not possible to wish any kind of “them” away. “Different” does not mean less precious to God. And we’re all different from the norm in one way or another. Yes, even you are different from the norm. You are sometimes somebody else’s “they.” You have a right to exist as who you are, and so do all the others we refer to as “they.” Please proceed with kindness, everywhere and always.

A while back, it was Skitter’s first scheduled canine playdate here at our abode. First. Ever. Suzanne’s Aunt Marilyn and Uncle Ron had driven up from Mesquite so Ron could attend his billion-year class reunion. They needed a Sadie-sitter while they were at the event. I was all-in to see how Skitter would do with a stranger-dog in our house. The mood was amusingly tense with Princess Sadie in the house. There was no weeping or wailing or barking or gnashing of teeth, although there was some slight doggie lip-curling and doggie bearin’ o’ the teeth. For most of their playdate, the mutts busied themselves with circling and sniffing each other’s various body parts. For hours, it was like watching a boxing match of only rope-a-dope strategy. Although Skitter and Sadie were fascinated by each other, they made certain their noses and fur and paws never actually touched. They were probably afraid of each other’s cooties. The closest they got to each other was when they simultaneously put themselves on my lap to claim me. Somehow, their jealousy did not erupt into a proper dogfight. They just stared at each other for the longest time, occasionally priming their mouths to attack. It was nothing more than theatrical threat and a tiny slice o’ harmless mouth-snapping. The dogs seemed happy with the afternoon adventure, and a good time was had by all in attendance. Skitter now wants Sadie to visit for an entire sleepover. I will have to think about that. If their sleepover is going to be anything like the sleepovers with my pals at my house when I was young, the smart thing would be for me to just say NO and hope the subject never comes up again. (We had way too much fun at those sleepovers back in the day! And our lips are still sealed about most of the happenings.) 🐶🐩

Be patient with me. I’m so glad to be TIE O’ THE DAY-ing again, but I’m out of the swing of it. I haven’t quite gotten back into the rhythm of writing posts as easily as I’d like. I’m working on it. So this morning I present three different Bow Ties o’ the Day from April and May. In the first one I was getting my hearing aids tweaked at my ear doc’s office. He is a maniac golfer and I was showing him my newest golf cap. In the second photo, I’m at the Apple Store. You can see Suzanne behind my right shoulder, picking out Apple Watches for us. I’m sure she hoped a new gadget would raise my spirits. I don’t remember where we were driving in the third picture, but at least I was wearing my honey bear Olympic lapel pin. 🏌️⏰🍯

Wood magnetic Bow Tie is the cherry on top in this selfie. This t-shirt speaks to the core o’ my literate and baconivorous soul! The universe sends me exactly what I need, every time. I’m a happy gal.🥓📚🤓

I found the perfect shirt for Pride Month, complete with a Bow Tie o’ the Day, tied right on the bunny’s ear. This month—and every month—I am so proud to be a Delta Rabbit! This t-shirt graphic could well have been my yearbook picture, every year of my Delta High School career. 🐰👒

Who doesn’t want to see pix of another visit with Mom? Mom posts, two days in a row?! That’s certainly worthy of Skitter’s oranges Tie o’ the Day, as well as my mustaches Bow Tie o’ the Day. Mom liked our neckwear offerings for that visit. She told us so, many times over.

I managed to locate my Madame Butterfly fans Bow Tie o’ the Day to wear for an evening out to see the Broadway musical TINA in SLC a few days ago—a mere week after Ms. Turner’s passing. I haven’t been out much recently, and the Tina Turner songs were just the ticket to jumpstart my re-entry into the artsy social world. Since seeing the musical, I have been re-listening to her music and falling again into that muscular voice of hers: a deep, gravelly flame of a voice! I would not be surprised to learn that when Tina showed up at the Pearly Gates, whoever it is who leads the choir of angels in Heaven turned to them all and said something like, “Our lead singer has arrived. The rest of you are in the chorus now.” I can hear it. All hail the Queen! 👑💓🦵🏾